# Help finding a midget to hire



## TexasJ (Jun 19, 2006)

I've got a buddy of mine getting married in September so were throwing him a bachelor party at a Lake House on Lake Travis August 7 & 8. 

Here's where I'm looking for help. In addition to getting normal strippers, we also interested in hiring a party favor. How do I hire a midget to come hang out and party with us. Were looking to hire one with the same kind of rock star personality as the Half Pint Brawlers. We'd also like him dressed in a cowboy outfit if possible. We'd also try and locate a live minature pony for him to ride. 

Anybody know of any leads to hire any of these?


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

they are called little people you insensitive Richard. As for the rest of it, I WANT TO PARTY WITH YOU!


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## speckle-catcher (May 20, 2004)

no, but this thread is destined to go down in 2Cool history.


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## Sharkbite (Dec 16, 2004)

I know someone that tried to find something similar for his brother's bachelor party about a decade ago, but in that case they were looking for her to be a stripper. 

After running out of leads he tried a last ditch effort to call all the adult entertainment places around town. I'm still shocked so many of those people called ME the perv.


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

Try freakshow.org...


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

I dance for Chunk-N-Dales now, would that help?


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## FireEater (Jul 31, 2009)

You have got to get THESE guys to party with!


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

wait, what if you buy a Koala Bear, name him GumNut. Shave his hair off and dress him up in some little wranglers boots and a hat?

Is that the same?


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## Whitebassfisher (May 4, 2007)

speckle-catcher said:


> no, but this thread is destined to go down in 2Cool history.


I must agree! LOL


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## wtc3 (Aug 16, 2005)

I'm replying simply so I can "subscribe" to this thread and see where it goes!!! This bachelor party will be one for the books! Don't forget the pics!!!.......


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## WESTTU (May 23, 2007)

Craigslist.com

It has everything


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

Here you go....

http://www.hireamidget.com/


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## Aggiedan (Feb 7, 2005)

TexasJ said:


> I've got a buddy of mine getting married in September so were throwing him a bachelor party at a Lake House on Lake Travis August 7 & 8.
> 
> Here's where I'm looking for help. In addition to getting normal strippers, we also interested in hiring a party favor. How do I hire a midget to come hang out and party with us. Were looking to hire one with the same kind of rock star personality as the Half Pint Brawlers. We'd also like him dressed in a cowboy outfit if possible. We'd also try and locate a live minature pony for him to ride.
> 
> Anybody know of any leads to hire any of these?


I'm not sure if you are a talented troll or just challenged but I lean toward the latter as you seem serious and obviously I am clearly old. Perhaps Vegas might be a better venue for your group?


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## PBD539 (May 4, 2010)

I can send over my 3yr old, for the right price. He is friggen awesome!! 
I get to come too though. :biggrin:


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## WBHB (May 26, 2004)

Toto, I've a feeling we aren't in Kansas anymore.


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## Barnacle Bill (May 21, 2004)

speckle-catcher said:


> no, but this thread is destined to go down in 2Cool history.


LMFAO!!!!! That is exactly what I thought when I saw the title of this thread.


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## bigdaddyriverrat (May 24, 2004)

Dude, I am in! If I bring my own midget can I come to the bachelor party?


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## TexasJ (Jun 19, 2006)

Aggiedan said:


> I'm not sure if you are a talented troll or just challenged but I lean toward the latter as you seem serious and obviously I am clearly old. Perhaps Vegas might be a better venue for your group?


I'm as serious as a heart attack. Were going to have a pontoon boat and we'll be spending alot of time at Devil's Cove if anyone wants to join in.

Anyone who knows me also knows I'm serious. I rented a full size school bus and loaded it with old school mates for my 10 year high school reunion. We bar hopped around Clear Lake. It was 2 years ago if anybody remembers seeing a school bus at Vietos or Club Classic. We also had shirts that said "I road the bus to my 10 year high school reunion".


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## InfamousJ (May 21, 2004)

I totally agree with the strippers and such but wanting to hang out with a male midget while the strippers are around, I have to question your true desires deep inside..


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## Barnacle Bill (May 21, 2004)

Try to see if Dorf is available. If not, I can put shoes on my knees and walk around for a while for the right price.. might even strip if there are some $5 bills involved...


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## Aggiedan (Feb 7, 2005)

*Alan is that you?*

Yes Alan, from The Hangover?


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## swifty (May 13, 2005)

Yep, heard it all now. A midget at a bachelor party? Poor dude or dudette. :headknock 

Now the bus to the 10 yr reunion sounds very cool...bet y'all got some laughs out of that one.

swifty


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## jake/jenny (Jul 18, 2008)

talk to dr. evil-----maybe you can git mini-me to show up. corse he dont talk much.


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## capt.sandbar (Aug 31, 2007)

24Buds said:


> wait, what if you buy a Koala Bear, name him GumNut. Shave his hair off and dress him up in some little wranglers boots and a hat?
> 
> Is that the same?


24Buds... You show way to much intrest in this topic and also seem to be well informed... Your scaring me!:doowapsta
Maybe you should change your name to 24LITTLEBuds???


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## Gilbert (May 25, 2004)

there is a midget that hangs out at Drink Houston. He likes to party. If I go this weekend, I'll tell him he is wanted and can he ride a pony. :


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## 007 (Mar 11, 2008)

Call Hotrod and see if he's available.


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## mastercylinder60 (Dec 18, 2005)

i'm a midget. how may i help you?


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

capt.sandbar said:


> 24Buds... You show way to much intrest in this topic and also seem to be well informed... Your scaring me!:doowapsta
> Maybe you should change your name to 24LITTLEBuds???


 LOL this just sounds like my kind of party. I like to party hard!

I do see some LEO's stoping by to investigate this as some parties just are that good!


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## Aggiedan (Feb 7, 2005)

TexasJ said:


> I'm as serious as a heart attack. Were going to have a pontoon boat and we'll be spending alot of time at Devil's Cove if anyone wants to join in.
> 
> Anyone who knows me also knows I'm serious. QUOTE]
> 
> Thats quite a wolfpack you are running in Alan. Stick with Vegas


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## TexasJ (Jun 19, 2006)

Blk Jck 224 said:


> Here you go....
> 
> http://www.hireamidget.com/


Called them. No luck. Philadelphia area only.


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## BlueWaveCapt (Jan 8, 2007)

There was a TV show on a couple months back that was all about a midget employment agency. The company was run by midgets and only hired/represented other midgets.

Here is a lead for you...
http://www.hirelittlepeople.com/ (real website...looks legit)

**edit...nevermind - I see that this is that same Phili company.


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## Bilge Bait (Apr 13, 2010)

This is the first thing I thought of when I read the post:


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

Mont, do you ever wake up, log on to your site and say to yourself......"Seriously?"

Thanks!


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## PasadenaMan (Dec 5, 2007)

Just post an add on craigslist.org
I would use the word little people.


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## roundman (May 21, 2004)

need a big fat guy that likes to drink beer and do cartwheels after i get drunk?


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## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

I have a 5 year old and he has his own cowboy outfit.  I could round up a pony also! Prople viewing this thread: 43! HAHA


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## Fishiola (Apr 30, 2009)

Did you hear about the Midget Fortune Teller who escaped from Jail?

The policed were looking for a small medium at large.


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## Tombstone (May 19, 2009)

24Buds said:


> Mont, do you ever wake up, log on to your site and say to yourself......"Seriously?"
> 
> Thanks!


LMAO! I can't wait to get on in the mornings and see whats new. Its like waking up on christmas, you never know whats going to be on the board! :cheers:


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## km2006dmax (Nov 21, 2009)

> I'm replying simply so I can "subscribe" to this thread and see where it goes!!! This bachelor party will be one for the books! Don't forget the pics!!!.......


Camera's are usually not a good idea on a bachelor party.

You guy's need to go to Vegas.


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## manintheboat (Jun 1, 2004)

Thread of the year potential?


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

roundman said:


> need a big fat guy that likes to drink beer and do cartwheels after i get drunk?


 or two?:doowapsta


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## aggiefishinDr (Sep 1, 2005)

It is hard to find what you are looking for. I had a friend a few years back want to get a little person to wear a sombrera and serve chips and salsa out of it. Couldnt find one!! You may want to try Bridgette the Midget!! Check her out on myspace!! HAHA


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## Sunbeam (Feb 24, 2009)

No midget but we have a guy who dresses like Elvis and walks up and down the main drag in Livingston. I hear he he got stoned at a party on Lake Travis and has never been the same.


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## bud1971 (Aug 10, 2009)

Why would you not go for the midget stripper like Tucker Max did?


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## frank n texas (Aug 11, 2004)

If ya hurry you might luck out hiring Gary Coleman at a discount for the gig...

Now the thread is really at the bottom of the tank...

RIP Gary...The devil made me post this....

:doowapsta


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## Lat22 (Apr 7, 2005)

> Don't forget the pics!!!.......


Yes. This! Brilliant! Taking pictures at a bachelor party is always a GREAT idea!!!


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

wow.


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## GoFaster (May 4, 2005)

I went to one about 10 years ago..


strippers
hookers
mini pool filled with chocolate pudding for the above to wrestle
slip n slide for the above to clean up 
midget
clown with a monkey
petting zoo no kidding
catered by taco cabana
and enough alcohol to kill several men. lol
I still have not figured out where my shirt and socks went. It was crazy! The clown thought she was going to a kid's birthday party. She left when the monkey bit one of the strippers on the nipple. HAHA What a night that was!


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## flashlight (Jul 9, 2007)

Ive got a buddy who is only 5'1". He says when he retires he wants to get involved in midget ****...

He says just for once in his life, he wants to hear someone say to him " send in the big guy"!!


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## LPKENNER (Apr 26, 2006)

frank n texas said:


> If ya hurry you might luck out hiring Gary Coleman at a discount for the gig...
> 
> Now the thread is really at the bottom of the tank...
> 
> ...


WOW! A dead midget post! This is rock bottom


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## InfamousJ (May 21, 2004)

GoFaster said:


> I went to one about 10 years ago..
> 
> 
> strippers
> ...


about the only thing left from that would be to have waken up with permanent marker all over your face and body with stripper signatures and little notes about their thoughts... ooops, that happened to my brother. LMAO


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## whistlingdixie (Jul 28, 2008)

ahhh this made my day. mont should create an x rated 2 cool for adults so we could post pics of bachelor parties


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## trodery (Sep 13, 2006)

GoFaster said:


> I went to one about 10 years ago..
> 
> 
> strippers
> ...


HOLY COW! 

Reading that made me bust out loud laughing in my office!


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## BlueWaveCapt (Jan 8, 2007)

trodery said:


> HOLY COW!
> 
> Reading that made me bust out loud laughing in my office!


ME TOO - hilarious.


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

I like monkeys


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## Bevo&Pevo (Jul 22, 2008)

How tall is too tall for a midget? I think I got txgoddess' phone number or email somewhere. She might be game! Just helpin' out. B&P


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## Solid Action (May 21, 2004)

Whitebassfisher said:


> I must agree! LOL


This is the funniest post I have ever seen on 2Cool. Good work.


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## trodery (Sep 13, 2006)

GoFaster said:


> The clown thought she was going to a kid's birthday party. She left when the monkey bit one of the strippers on the nipple.


I keep going back to read this sentence and still crack up! :doowapsta


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## BATWING (May 9, 2008)

WAHAHAHAHAHAHA !! I love it! Hire Beetle Juice from the Stern show. Just fly him out.

http://www.jollydwarf.com/Home.html


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## Sow Trout (Jun 28, 2004)

I think this is a tasteless idea. But, if you insist there is a member of the board that goes by Tiny. LOL


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## PBD539 (May 4, 2010)

frank n texas said:


> If ya hurry you might luck out hiring Gary Coleman at a discount for the gig...
> 
> Now the thread is really at the bottom of the tank...
> 
> ...


Wucha talkin bout Frank!?


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## 007 (Mar 11, 2008)

Sow Trout said:


> I think this is a tasteless idea. But, if you insist there is a member of the board that goes by Tiny. LOL


He's 6'4" and about 275.


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## manintheboat (Jun 1, 2004)

GoFaster said:


> I went to one about 10 years ago..
> 
> 
> strippers
> ...


pfft. That is a typical weekend around my house when the wife is out of town. Maybe not the Taco Cabana part.


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

007 said:


> He's 6'4" and about 275.


 thats good and all, but will he get on a pony? That might just be better than a "little person"


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## Melon (Jun 1, 2004)

I haven,t laughed this hard in while. still lmao


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## Bevo&Pevo (Jul 22, 2008)

24Buds said:


> thats good and all, but will he get on a pony? That might just be better than a "little person"


Rog has a heart of gold. I got $20.00 says he rides the pony backwards. B&P


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## Bull Red (Mar 17, 2010)

Definitely want to see lots of PICS!


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

Bevo&Pevo said:


> Rog has a heart of gold. I got $20.00 says he rides the pony backwards. B&P


 can we call him Pepe the Burro? is that how you spell it?


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## Haute Pursuit (Jun 26, 2006)

Take that party to Mexico... Plenty of party midgets there. :ac550:


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## Bevo&Pevo (Jul 22, 2008)

What's the mexican word for Tiny? Pquito?

We did one many years ago where the entire mission was getting the groom so plastered he didn't know where he was. It worked. We sent him and an chaperone to Mexico City. Poor bastage woke up in a hotel room with no ID,cash, only his shorts, and no idea where he was. The chaperone let him sweat it out for about half a day while watching him. We all thought it was funny as hell but the bride, well not so much. To their credit they're still married. B&P


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## urbanfisher (Aug 14, 2005)

Check out microwrestling.com they will be in Austin next weekend for the ROT rally. Bing.com it as well you can find what ever you want on there. Also, thanks for giving me something to do at work today classic!!!


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## BATWING (May 9, 2008)

Bevo&Pevo said:


> What's the mexican word for Tiny? Pquito?


diminuto

http://translate.reference.com/translate


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

*you could always hire...*

MC! Sorry txgoddess. I took your thunderous picture!~


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## Hogsticker24 (Oct 7, 2008)

Josh this is why i like to party with you. The ten year reunion on the bus is true. I went and dint even go to school at clear brook. This is funny sh!t i have heard in a long time


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## FISH ON (May 22, 2004)

I will help this thread go down in history with a gary coleman custom casket.


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## LPKENNER (Apr 26, 2006)

FISH ON said:


> I will help this thread go down in history with a gary coleman custom casket.


:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: THAT AINT RIGHT!!! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


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## PBD539 (May 4, 2010)

Looks like it has turned to favorite pic time


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## Nathanww (Jan 2, 2007)

We had a similar idea for our cookoff... we thought it would be great PR if we could hire two ninja midgets and have ninja fights! The only ones we could find where out of California and cost $200 an hour.

Good luck in your quest!


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## saltwatersensations (Aug 30, 2004)

cause I'm 3 foot nine with a 10 foot stick....


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## gitchesum (Nov 18, 2006)

http://www.shortdwarf.com/contact.htm

Good lord, I hope my wife doesn't look at the web history on his computer today....I'll be in for some major questioning.


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## gitchesum (Nov 18, 2006)

Dude, jackpot...local talent

http://www.clownscharacters.com/dwarfactors.htm


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## CoastalOutfitters (Aug 20, 2004)

well, that's it

back to therapy, I was almost over the flying monkeys


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## slopoke (Jul 10, 2005)

If ya'll find a cute midget gurl I'll wear my Elvis costume and .................dance with her.............for beer. Jus' sayin'. :bounce:


And no pictures, please.


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## Bull Fish (Nov 15, 2006)

Putting a call into my Brother in Austin now! If it is possible he will find it. He also has access to a 60' houseboat on the lake. And they do party like Rockstars. Let you know what I come up with.


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## Papasnbeer (Jun 8, 2007)

I'm no midget but I could be close enough and I'll do it for the price of admission. Just make sure my a** gets home in time for Mass.


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## TexasJ (Jun 19, 2006)

gitchesum said:


> Dude, jackpot...local talent
> 
> http://www.clownscharacters.com/dwarfactors.htm


Great link. I've given them a call. He's going to talk to his man about this kind of event. The party being in Austin is an issue at the moment but he's going to get back with me.

Thanks!


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## Loyd (Aug 13, 2009)

wtc3 said:


> I'm replying simply so I can "subscribe" to this thread and see where it goes!!! This bachelor party will be one for the books! Don't forget the pics!!!.......


Good idea, same here.


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## El Carnicero (Aug 27, 2009)

007 said:


> Call Hotrod and see if he's available.


Ooohhh.


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## Mike77015 (Dec 27, 2007)

WTH????? How did I miss this thread?


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## espanolabass (Jul 20, 2006)

You boys are just not right


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## rumdumb (Apr 17, 2008)

Ok i Have stayed out of this but it is too good Call **** town tatoo in bryan texas they have a midget tatoo artist that is as small as they come you might be able to hire him to give tatoos what a great memory for a bachelor party waking up with a tatoo.
3200 S Texas Ave
Bryan, TX 77802-3125

Get Directions

(979) 822-2058

* approximate times

*Area served:* -

Category:

Unverified listing

<IMG border=0 alt=Photo jstcache="129" jsvalues="src:i.photoUrl"><IMG border=0 alt=Photo jstcache="129" jsvalues="src:i.photoUrl">


<IMG border=0 alt=Photo jstcache="117" jsvalues="src:i.photoUrl;width:i.photoWidth;height:i.photoHeight">
Street view


<IMG jstcache="74" jsvalues="src:i.enh.icon.url;">


Directions
Search nearby
Save to...
more▼


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## rumdumb (Apr 17, 2008)

umpa lumpa dumpity doo ive got a bachelor party


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## cfred (Jun 13, 2004)

Haute Pursuit said:


> Take that party to Mexico... Plenty of party midgets there. :ac550:


Thanks for the links! I can now honestly say that, yes I have seen a midget, on fire, riding a four wheeler, into a bull ring! This has to be number one on the list of things I never thought I would type!!!!

Great thread BTW!


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## fwoodwader (Jul 18, 2008)

This thread has epic written all over it.


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## Bocephus (May 30, 2008)

I've read some crazy chit here at 2Cool....but this thread ranks right up there at the top :rotfl:


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## TX HOOKSETTER (Oct 8, 2009)

*EPPIC THREAD*

I HAVE TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS THREAD AS THE BEST OF IT HAS YET TO COME OUT.... :rotfl::rotfl::bounce:


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## Two Headed Dog (Jun 4, 2009)

*Give Robert Reich a call*

But then again he might be to busy trying to convince Obummer to nationalize BP. Where ever you hire them make sure that they don't try to slip a dwarf in on ya. That's been a major compliant at the BBB over the years I've heard. Wish I had an invite to this soiree. It has all the makings of a King Hell party. And like a Hell's Angels party make sure no cameras are allowed.

*Tan, Rested, and Ready! Nixon in '88!*


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## Two Headed Dog (Jun 4, 2009)

*Are you blind?*



cfred said:


> Thanks for the links! I can now honestly say that, yes I have seen a midget, on fire, riding a four wheeler, into a bull ring! This has to be number one on the list of things I never thought I would type!!!!
> 
> Great thread BTW!


These are not midgets! They are dwarfs. A discerning individual such as myself would be aware of the obvious differences. Shame on you my good man!

*T**an, Rested, and Ready! Nixon in '88!*


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## InfamousJ (May 21, 2004)

cfred said:


> Thanks for the links! I can now honestly say that, yes I have seen a midget, on fire, riding a four wheeler, into a bull ring! This has to be number one on the list of things I never thought I would type!!!!
> 
> Great thread BTW!


 




:rotfl:


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## Neumie (Oct 28, 2004)




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## seattleman1969 (Jul 17, 2008)

Dude, I'll help but I want the party address and date... this I've gotta see!


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## seattleman1969 (Jul 17, 2008)

BTW, midget or not it ain't a party until you get a retrograde wheelbarrow goin'....

Just saying!

Definition 2 at the following link!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=retrograde%20wheelbarrow


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## KRA79 (Feb 14, 2007)

Once you find the midget tell him there is an extra $100 in it for him if he can kick himself in the forehead. Wee Man did it so I know it's possible.


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## Lancer00 (Feb 23, 2010)

seattleman1969 said:


> BTW, midget or not it ain't a party until you get a retrograde wheelbarrow goin'....
> 
> Just saying!
> 
> ...


Wow


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## Mad Mike (Dec 28, 2005)

This thread is just wrong.....funny but wrong.


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## OrangeCloud (Jul 29, 2009)

seattleman1969 said:


> BTW, midget or not it ain't a party until you get a retrograde wheelbarrow goin'....
> 
> Just saying!
> 
> ...


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## deke (Oct 5, 2004)

mastercylinder said:


> i'm a midget. how may i help you?


I don't think he is looking for a mental midget


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## Bull Red (Mar 17, 2010)

Sounds like a fun party....just don't let Fat Jesus fix the jagerbombs!


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## Bayscout22 (Aug 9, 2007)

saltwatersensations said:


> cause I'm 3 foot nine with a 10 foot stick....


Joe C. RIP...


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## txranger (Jun 23, 2005)

No midget, but how about a saint bernard with an inferiority complex and a sinus infection? That's a party waitin to happen! :doowapsta


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## Hotrod (Oct 11, 2006)

007 said:


> Call Hotrod and see if he's available.


If this thread was for Hippies, Stoners, and Drunks, that would be your calling.


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## DirtKat (Dec 10, 2009)

Would love to be there for this one.
Have fun MUTHA [email protected]#AS!!!!!!:cheers:


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## Gilbert (May 25, 2004)

Hotrod said:


> If this thread was for Hippies, Stoners, and Drunks, that would be your calling.


but its not, its for midgets, midget. :rotfl:


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## Harbormaster (May 26, 2000)

Is this where you're having the party?


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## 100% Texan (Jan 30, 2005)

TexasJ said:


> I've got a buddy of mine getting married in September so were throwing him a bachelor party at a Lake House on Lake Travis August 7 & 8.
> 
> Here's where I'm looking for help. In addition to getting normal strippers, we also interested in hiring a party favor. How do I hire a midget to come hang out and party with us. Were looking to hire one with the same kind of rock star personality as the Half Pint Brawlers. We'd also like him dressed in a cowboy outfit if possible. We'd also try and locate a live minature pony for him to ride.
> 
> Anybody know of any leads to hire any of these?


There was a 2cooler that was saying he hadhis own gear and hired out as a midgit toss to party's he might be right up your ally also see if you can get one that drinks I hear there some ornery little shiites lol


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## LIVIN (Oct 31, 2006)

*"Walk like a monkey...but not exactly, because I'm terrified of real monkey's."*


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## Bilge Bait (Apr 13, 2010)

I helped get the word out:


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## rex cars (Jul 8, 2007)

?


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## TexasJ (Jun 19, 2006)

Bilge Bait said:


> I helped get the word out:


Buwahahahahahahahahahahaha... Yes.... Send TexasJ a PM if your a partying midget!!!! hahahahahahahaha


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## bluewaterrip (May 8, 2006)

Back in my 20's some buddies and I were down in SPI for sprink break. We went into Matamoros to go party hard. We ended up at this Metal bar called Black Cats. Right when you walked inside they had a midget dressed like "The Gimp" suspended from the ceiling spread completely apart with shackles around his wrist and ankles. We were there for about 3 hours enjoying $1.00 Jack and Cokes and the midget was hanging there the whole time.

You find this midget and I have a feeling this guy will do whatever you want. 

By the time we left his thrashing around that we saw when we fist got there had slowed down to where he was barely wiggling anymore. Yes he would be a tuff midget for you.


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## jamisjockey (Jul 30, 2009)

I'm 5'3"...for enough cash, I'll do it...


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## Bilge Bait (Apr 13, 2010)

bluewaterrip said:


> Back in my 20's some buddies and I were down in SPI for sprink break. We went into Matamoros to go party hard. We ended up at this Metal bar called Black Cats. Right when you walked inside they had a midget dressed like "The Gimp" suspended from the ceiling spread completely apart with shackles around his wrist and ankles. We were there for about 3 hours enjoying $1.00 Jack and Cokes and the midget was hanging there the whole time.
> 
> You find this midget and I have a feeling this guy will do whatever you want.
> 
> By the time we left his thrashing around that we saw when we fist got there had slowed down to where he was barely wiggling anymore. Yes he would be a tuff midget for you.


Bingo! Found your midget, he is a few posts above, sans ball-gag! and plus hi-tops. Not you jamisjockey.


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## TXXpress (May 23, 2004)

I sawthis thread this morning at 8:15 and think to myself this is going to be good. I get busy at work and check after dinner. 13 pages of laughs. Thanks for the post J.


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## freespool (Oct 1, 2005)

There used to be this place just over the bridge from.... Better not go there family website and all.


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## bayou vista (Jun 28, 2008)

*BBBBBBHHHHHHHHAAAHHHHH*

MY STOMACH HURTS I LAUGHED SO HARD


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## jamisjockey (Jul 30, 2009)

100% Texan said:


> There was a 2cooler that was saying he hadhis own gear and hired out as a midgit toss to party's he might be right up your ally also see if you can get one that drinks I hear there some ornery little shiites lol


Have Harness, will travel!


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## Tail Chaser (May 24, 2004)

Harbormaster said:


> Is this where you're having the party?


How do I apply at Sherrie's? Is it inside the loop? I have references.


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## Tortuga (May 21, 2004)

Wallll !!!!..He ain't necessarily a midget...but if what yore lookin' for is a 'stripper'.....you don't have to go far here on 2cool.....














:rotfl:


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## jewfish (Feb 16, 2005)

No one even mentioned teenage MUTANT ninja midgets.
Leonardo, Dinatello, Michaelangelo
Ahhhh Master Shredder


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## Bilge Bait (Apr 13, 2010)

> Wallll !!!!..He ain't necessarily a midget...but if what yore lookin' for is a 'stripper'.....you don't have to go far here on 2cool.....


My sides are gonna split! LMAO

who is that?


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## ripleyb (Mar 20, 2006)

Wow, what a great thread! How about hiring these guys for the entertainment?










Or how about this band?


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## corpus shorty (Oct 31, 2007)

ya all know its not nice to make fun of short people right ?im kinda appalled at this behave your you guys are enacting..despicable.hurt my feelings and all...ok...on the other hand..i do know a Japanese transsexual midget that is looking for work..


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## Fathead (Aug 11, 2005)

manintheboat said:


> pfft. That is a typical weekend around my house when the wife is out of town. Maybe not the Taco Cabana part.


PM me next time she ships out. I'll bring the TC. You'll be all set.


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## Tortuga (May 21, 2004)

Bilge Bait said:


> My sides are gonna split! LMAO
> 
> who is that?


You mean to tell me you don't recognize our World Famous..."TROD" :rotfl:


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## slopoke (Jul 10, 2005)

Tortuga said:


> You mean to tell me you don't recognize our World Famous..."TROD" :rotfl:


He *is* a media sensation!


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## ripleyb (Mar 20, 2006)

slopoke said:


> He *is* a media sensation!


He's just a lime green loving drama queen! :biggrin:


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## reel love (May 21, 2004)

this is the funniest thread since mrs backlasher posted a 'one night stand' for sale under classifieds.
classic for sure.
michelle


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## Mr. Breeze (Jan 6, 2005)

reel love said:


> this is the funniest thread since mrs backlasher posted a 'one night stand' for sale under classifieds.
> classic for sure.
> michelle


still laugh at that one... All Time Classic, I am not so sure Mrs. B. would approve of this thread though...lol


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## Mr. Breeze (Jan 6, 2005)

This act might work? lol


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## Main Frame 8 (Mar 16, 2007)

trodery said:


> I keep going back to read this sentence and still crack up! :doowapsta


 I know, right???


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## Savage Rods (Apr 27, 2005)

reel love said:


> this is the funniest thread since mrs backlasher posted a 'one night stand' for sale under classifieds.
> classic for sure.
> michelle


You are right. Funniest thread since then. Keep it going down hill gang. Thanks for the laughs


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## Main Frame 8 (Mar 16, 2007)

Tortuga said:


> Wallll !!!!..He ain't necessarily a midget...but if what yore lookin' for is a 'stripper'.....you don't have to go far here on 2cool.....
> 
> :rotfl:


 Bwaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaaaaa

STR8 Pimpin dem pasties.

LMAO!!!!!!!


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## tpool (Aug 21, 2005)

You know, I'm 5'5", and my whole life been right in the middle - too short for this, too tall for the midget or jockey job. Darnit!!!!....

However, will pay BIG money to be at this party!!!!

T-BONE


p.s,. Funniest thread I can remember on 2cool!!!!!


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## fishbowl365 (Mar 9, 2005)

ok.....here ya go , i really know a little person and he is a midget. he is unemployed, he likes to party and gets unruly also. probably won't be hard to get him to go. he will need a ride as he has no car. i will contact him today and ask if interersted. i'll be working all day so no computer. get back with response later this evening.


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## State_Vet (Oct 10, 2006)

Some thread titles just catch your eye, common sense tells you "you don't want to know" but like a train wreck you have to look, and get drawn in to reading multiple pages of disturbing posts (and pics). I guess that's why I like 2cool, carry on:biggrin:


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## State_Vet (Oct 10, 2006)

corpus shorty said:


> i do know a Japanese transsexual midget that is looking for work..


Part of me wants to ask how you know this person, the other part has threatened violence with a hammer if the question is asked:work::biggrin:


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## Bilge Bait (Apr 13, 2010)

Thread still going uh! Good laughs to start Saturday morning!



> ok.....here ya go , i really know a little person and he is a midget. he is unemployed, he likes to party and gets unruly also. probably won't be hard to get him to go. he will need a ride as he has no car.


This would be tragic and sad, if it wasn't a little person... but I can't quit laughing!!! Can you elaborate on unruly? Like keg-stand unruly, or throw the hotel room furniture in the pool unruly?


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## State_Vet (Oct 10, 2006)

Have you tried rent-a-midget?

http://www.rent-a-midget.com/


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## State_Vet (Oct 10, 2006)

Bilge Bait said:


> Thread still going uh! Good laughs to start Saturday morning!
> 
> This would be tragic and sad, if it wasn't a little person... but I can't quit laughing!!! Can you elaborate on unruly? Like keg-stand unruly, or *throw the hotel room furniture in the pool unruly*?


Like the lamp? ice bucket? Some of that furniture is big and heavy:biggrin:


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## Galveston Yankee (May 24, 2004)

Tortuga said:


> You mean to tell me you don't recognize our World Famous..."TROD" :rotfl:


Well, there wasn't any dome glare and the pasties weren't lime green. It makes it easy to not recognize somebody when you disguise them like that!


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## printman (May 31, 2008)

Funny stuff. Check this out. Might be what you are looking for.

http://www.sikvid.com/index.php?vid=7480


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## Reel Bender (Sep 30, 2004)

bigdaddyriverrat said:


> Dude, I am in! If I bring my own midget can I come to the bachelor party?


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## txgirl1722 (Oct 17, 2008)

Don't forget the Tiger, chicken, cop car and the baby named Carlos! LMAO Oh and the roofies!


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## oldtrackster (Jul 20, 2007)

txgirl1722 said:


> Don't forget the Tiger, chicken, cop car and the baby named Carlos! LMAO Oh and the roofies![/QUOTE
> "shouldn't they be called floories...."
> "or ra****"
> 
> How did that movie not have a midget in it?


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## fishbowl365 (Mar 9, 2005)

unruly being he gets real big after a few rounds........


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## claudejrc (Oct 10, 2009)

Will there be midget tossing?


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## sotol buster (Oct 7, 2007)

Rusty, where are you? You always need a job, then when one pops up you are nowhere to be seen. It will be a little pony , so don't be skeert.


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## Zork (Jan 11, 2006)

claudejrc said:


> Will there be midget tossing?


 ROFLMAO!


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## trodery (Sep 13, 2006)

LOL... I was out of town for a day, come back and see that I got drug into it this deal .... Tortuga you ain't right buddy!

I am not a midget but I will run around topless sporting a Pimp Hat and pasties if the money is right.


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## Tortuga (May 21, 2004)

trodery said:


> LOL... I was out of town for a day, come back and see that I got drug into it this deal .... Tortuga you ain't right buddy!
> 
> I am not a midget but I will run around topless sporting a Pimp Hat and pasties if the money is right.


:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:...Wondered where you wuz, Amigo.. Figgered that one would brang you out of the 'woodwork'.. Ya gotta be keerful with us geezers... We 'save' EVERYTHING....:rotfl:


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## chickenboy (May 5, 2008)

Sorry, I hadn't posted to this thread earlier. My roomate in college my freshman year was a midget, and I dated his midget sister for a short while one summer. I have lost touch with the both of them over the years. Sorry I couldn't be more help.


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## gus110 (May 14, 2008)

chickenboy said:


> Sorry, I hadn't posted to this thread earlier. My roomate in college my freshman year was a midget, and I dated his midget sister for a short while one summer. I have lost touch with the both of them over the years. Sorry I couldn't be more help.


Now that is funny!!!!


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## SlicksVR4 (Jul 7, 2006)

chickenboy said:


> Sorry, I hadn't posted to this thread earlier. My roomate in college my freshman year was a midget, and I dated his midget sister for a short while one summer. I have lost touch with the both of them over the years. Sorry I couldn't be more help.


That ain't right, funny though!


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## dirtwater (May 23, 2010)

that sound like the place to be that night


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## ripleyb (Mar 20, 2006)

chickenboy said:


> Sorry, I hadn't posted to this thread earlier. My roomate in college my freshman year was a midget, and I dated his midget sister for a short while one summer. I have lost touch with the both of them over the years. Sorry I couldn't be more help.


So how short was it??? Inquiring minds want to know...


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## Hollywood1053 (May 15, 2009)

chickenboy said:


> and I dated his midget sister for a short while one summer. QUOTE]
> 
> I'm calling BS on this one..........


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## gitchesum (Nov 18, 2006)

Hey TexasJ

Just a note, if my link works out, my finder's fee is reasonable. A simple invite should suffice.


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## dwilliams35 (Oct 8, 2006)

gitchesum said:


> Hey TexasJ
> 
> Just a note, if my link works out, my finder's fee is reasonable. A simple invite should suffice.


 I looked at that link, and I think they've just got one midget that dresses up in different costumes... I think they might be a little short handed or something.


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## TexasJ (Jun 19, 2006)

gitchesum said:


> Hey TexasJ
> 
> Just a note, if my link works out, my finder's fee is reasonable. A simple invite should suffice.


When I called, the individual was not sure if strippers, bachelor party atmosphere, and riding a pony was his "cup of tea". He described himself as a "family man" and his website advertises toward children type functions. Since we're wanting the midget to get drunk and party with us, he didn't think it was much of a fit. But I said "since the individual is a midget, he might be able to network with other midgets that he knows of that live in the Austin area". I'm hoping he gives me a call back or something else comes through.

I still haven't procured a partying midget who doesn't mind dressing like a cowboy and riding a minature pony while strippers are holding up guys taking turns doing keg stands...


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## bigdaddyriverrat (May 24, 2004)

Who would have thought that in todays world finding a midget, with loose morals and an animal fetish would be so hard! BTW, don't shoot yourself with the tranqilizer gun for the ponies like Will Ferrel in "old school"!


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

bigdaddyriverrat said:


> Who would have thought that in todays world finding a midget, with loose morals and an animal fetish would be so hard! BTW, don't shoot yourself with the tranqilizer gun for the ponies like Will Ferrel in "old school"!


LOL...'You're crazy...Man' :rotfl:


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## Gilbert (May 25, 2004)

TexasJ said:


> When I called, the individual was not sure if strippers, bachelor party atmosphere, and riding a pony was his "cup of tea". He described himself as a "family man" and his website advertises toward children type functions. Since we're wanting the midget to get drunk and party with us, he didn't think it was much of a fit. But I said "since the individual is a midget, he might be able to network with other midgets that he knows of that live in the Austin area". I'm hoping he gives me a call back or something else comes through.
> 
> I still haven't procured a partying midget who doesn't mind dressing like a cowboy and riding a minature pony while strippers are holding up guys taking turns doing keg stands...


didn't find the midget this weekend.


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## POC Troutman (Jul 13, 2009)

Not sure if you located your little guy yet, but when i was in a frat in austin we had a dude named John that we would bring in to wrestle strippers, he was a cool dude, bar tender at a bar downtown in Austin now, PM if you want me to see if i can find him, shouldn't be too hard.


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## POC Troutman (Jul 13, 2009)

Tortuga said:


> Wallll !!!!..He ain't necessarily a midget...but if what yore lookin' for is a 'stripper'.....you don't have to go far here on 2cool.....
> 
> :rotfl:


WHOAAAAA that's just not right!!!


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## Eltruchador (Apr 8, 2005)

18 pages and the midget quest has not come to an end....unbelievable!!

I may have to jump on this train and call my cousin in Austin....he's GOT to know a few.


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## POC Troutman (Jul 13, 2009)

Eltruchador said:


> 18 pages and the midget quest has not come to an end....unbelievable!!
> 
> I may have to jump on this train and call my cousin in Austin....he's GOT to know a few.


If you call him, the dude is a bartender at a place called Mooseknuckle on 6th, or at least he was last year when i was there.


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## Mountaineer Mark (Jul 15, 2009)

This guy is available......


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## seattleman1969 (Jul 17, 2008)

There is a little guy that works at the Parmer/35 HEB in North Austin, cool as hell, funny, and a HARD DRINKER. Not sure how he'd take the offer, and he's a bit tall for a "little person" at about 4'.....

I'll ask about it next time I am over there...


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## artofficial (Oct 3, 2005)

Y'all hear about the "little person" on trial for rape?

He said "your honor, my friends put me up to it"!!!!!!!!


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## corykj (Oct 30, 2008)

my dad is legally a midget in 37 states


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## Super Dave (May 26, 2004)

Is citizenship a requirement? Do they have to speak english? Would you consider a him/her person?


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## TexasJ (Jun 19, 2006)

Super Dave said:


> Is citizenship a requirement? Do they have to speak english? Would you consider a him/her person?


No, no, and yes.:rotfl:


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## Kenner21 (Aug 25, 2005)

My vote is not to cheap'n the expierence and go with a cowgirl little person on a pony


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## trodery (Sep 13, 2006)

corykj said:


> my dad is legally a midget in 37 states


Is he an illegal midget in the other states?


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## ripleyb (Mar 20, 2006)

Mountaineer Mark said:


> This guy is available......


That's Norbert...He can get a tad obnoxious...just saying.


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## corykj (Oct 30, 2008)

trodery said:


> Is he an illegal midget in the other states?


yes.... yes he is.


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## crashboatbasin (May 21, 2009)

great thread!!! my friend has a midget that works for him at his bar!! the little guy seems cool, if you want i can get this number? i think he mite be scared of ponies tho!!!


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

hsif said:


> I wish I were a 'small person".
> It would be nice to have a deformity that people felt comfortable to ridicule. A problem that I could not help but that people wanted to pay me just to have me around and make fun of me, laugh at me, and abuse me verbally and mentally.
> 
> One which songs are written about me, "Short people got no reason to live". One which threads like this are began and everybody joins in degrading me.
> ...


All they have to make fun of you about is your self righteousness. sad3sm


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

See I was right! Caught you before you deleted it!


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## POC Troutman (Jul 13, 2009)

AHHAHAHAHAHA busted


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## wtc3 (Aug 16, 2005)

POC Troutman said:


> AHHAHAHAHAHA busted


And FAST!!!


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## ripleyb (Mar 20, 2006)

Blk Jck 224 said:


> All they have to make fun of you about is your self righteousness. sad3sm


A fight! a fight! A midget and a white!!! :biggrin:

I'm sooo bad, I just couldn't help myself.


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## TexasJ (Jun 19, 2006)

Mountaineer Mark said:


> This guy is available......


Wait a minute.... I recognize this guy.... He was hanging out with the turqoise cowboy at the 2COOL COOKOFF.... I had my picture taken with these two jokesters!

"You know what we say.... WE SAY TAMALES!!!".










Look how far I have to bend down just to be in the same picture with them... They're both kind of midgety....

I'll give these guys an ounce of consideration as plan "B", but the crowd favorite is still the authentic midget...


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## gitchesum (Nov 18, 2006)

OK, Here's a lead.

I know it's the same weekend, but they are having midget wrestling at Texas WIngs in Pearland. I'm buddies with the guy that does their booking.

Maybe I can get a contact to the wrestling promotor and he may have someone who wants to make a little side cash.

Think it's worth looking into?


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## Livininlogs (Oct 12, 2005)

This may last as long as the Brad thread


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## fishbowl365 (Mar 9, 2005)

had lunch with my midget friend yesterday.he was not interested at all.


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## slopoke (Jul 10, 2005)

fishbowl365 said:


> had lunch with my midget friend yesterday.he was not interested at all.


Imagine that. hwell:


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## shauntexex (Dec 12, 2007)

How bout "chuy" from the Chelsea lately show haha


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## saltwater_therapy (Oct 14, 2005)

*awesome*

thats gonna be a party nobody there will ever forget.
good times.:brew2:


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## bigdaddyriverrat (May 24, 2004)

Brad Luby is a midget, so I hear!


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## firemitch2 (Sep 5, 2006)

If you like the movie The Hangover. You have to watch the movie I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.:rotfl::rotfl:


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## Bill Fisher (Apr 12, 2006)

firemitch2 said:


> I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.


they do!...... and all they have is bud light

that's what makes it hell!!!!


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## Bill Fisher (Apr 12, 2006)

(ps: it ain't even cold either )


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## castaway300 (Oct 6, 2007)

bigdaddyriverrat said:


> Brad Luby is a midget, so I hear!


 you heard wrong...he is only a mental midget.....


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## cfred (Jun 13, 2004)

saltwater_therapy said:


> thats gonna be a party nobody there will ever forget.
> good times.:brew2:


May also be a party nobody ever remembers......


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## capt.sandbar (Aug 31, 2007)

How'd this party end up?? They ever get a midget? Any pictures?? I'm sure they would need to be photoshoped to blurr some faces... LOL!!!


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

I like to party! Capt. good call. Updates please


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## capt.sandbar (Aug 31, 2007)

After this past weekend, I think the only thing missing was a midget... I guess I'll just have to live life deprived of that experience...


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## Pistol58 (Oct 9, 2009)

POC Troutman said:


> Not sure if you located your little guy yet, but when i was in a frat in austin we had a dude named John that we would bring in to wrestle strippers, he was a cool dude, bar tender at a bar downtown in Austin now, PM if you want me to see if i can find him, shouldn't be too hard.


Yup, Ive met this little guy, he got us hammered down for next to nothin....


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## Knot Kidding (Jan 7, 2009)

http://corpuschristi.craigslist.org/ads/1792786125.html


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