# 2013 Darwin award winners are......



## stargazer (May 24, 2004)

2013 DARWIN AWARDS
You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado, here are the 2013 Darwin Awards:
Eighth Place 

In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. 

Seventh Place 

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run. 

Sixth Place 

While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital. 

Fifth Place

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.

Fourth Place 

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.

Third Place 

After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store. The 
shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at the 
counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. 

The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by 
Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics 
identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt. 

HONORABLE MENTION 

Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice that the window was closed. 

RUNNER UP 

Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. Bingham's foot was never located.


AND THE WINNER IS....

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive 
oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded.

The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that proves... '**** happens'



IT ALWAYS SEEMS IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE POOL.


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## Smackdaddy53 (Nov 4, 2011)

Craziness

http://www.fishingscout.com/scouts/SmackDaddy


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## bill (May 21, 2004)

We still have 4 months...never give up early on the stupid, they can surprise us all


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## spurgersalty (Jun 29, 2010)

I still can't believe a superman tee shirt wasn't involved in any

Â©


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## Jamaica Cove (Apr 2, 2008)

What, Obama didn't make the list? shucks.


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## WillieT (Aug 25, 2010)

Any of these 2Coolers? j/k


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## Wading Wonder (Apr 18, 2010)

I can't believe some people can be so stupid...lol


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## TX HOOKSETTER (Oct 8, 2009)

Rotflmao!!!


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## RACER (Mar 15, 2006)

and they say you cant fix stupid


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## Bevojoe (Apr 25, 2012)

hmm...seems like several of these happened in the wee hours of the morning...surely alcohol wasn't involved??


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## RRfisher (Mar 5, 2007)

Scary thing is some of these are actually true.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin06.asp


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## Timemachine (Nov 25, 2008)

bill said:


> We still have 4 months...never give up early on the stupid, they can surprise us all


uhhhh.....make that 5 months.


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## ByGodTx (Sep 15, 2010)

I call b.s. on most of em.


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

Heres one I heard on the radio this morning. Portland Oregon. A man tries to rob a GUN SHOP with a BASEBALL BAT. The owner held him at gunpoint until the police arrived. :spineyes: Whoda thunk they would be armed there.


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## Sunbeam (Feb 24, 2009)

Forty seven rounds fire and only twenty three hits at close range. Some one needs to spend more time at the range.


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## patwilson (Jan 13, 2006)

"Stupid" all around us...........


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

Sunbeam said:


> Forty seven rounds fire and only twenty three hits at close range. Some one needs to spend more time at the range.


Don't blame me I put all 5 shots in the same hole. :ac550:


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## rsmith (Jun 29, 2007)

Wading Wonder said:


> I can't believe some people can be so stupid...lol










Intelligence can me measured but stupidly knows no limits.


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## KEN KERLEY (Nov 13, 2006)

I think the story about the zookeeper is a bunch of caca.


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## spike404 (Sep 13, 2010)

HIGHLY, VERY HIGHLY, embellished stories about actual events. Oh well, it is the Internet.


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## beaucp (Apr 8, 2011)

That last one and the gun one was the best. LMAO


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