# Another Craigslist Ad - Jeep anyone?



## t-tung (Nov 13, 2005)

http://enid.craigslist.org/cto/4119280944.html</div>


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## Fishtexx (Jun 29, 2004)

LOL Good find!!


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## TheRooster (Jul 15, 2012)

Lmao awesome

keep your booger hook off the bang switch!


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## hsif (Dec 16, 2008)

Quite the writer, isn't he!


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## ripleyb (Mar 20, 2006)

Love the story!


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## lite-liner (Mar 15, 2005)

I adore honesty in advertising!!!!


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## Shallow_Minded (Sep 21, 2004)

That guy should run for president...HAHA!


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## Soapeddler (Jun 18, 2006)

Best. Craigslist. Ad. Ever.

ROFLMAO!!!!


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## saltwatersensations (Aug 30, 2004)

Nice. My kind of people.


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## WillieT (Aug 25, 2010)

That guy sounds like a Texan.


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## t-tung (Nov 13, 2005)

It had me rollin


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## YakMan (Dec 2, 2005)

*jeep*

After reading all of it it almost makes you want to just go buy it just because! Ha Ha!


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## Jamie_Lee (Oct 28, 2010)

When I click on it, it says "This posting has been flagged for removal"


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## devil1824 (Sep 4, 2010)

Jamie_Lee said:


> When I click on it, it says "This posting has been flagged for removal"


This is working so far.

http://enid.craigslist.org/cto/4119280944.html</div>


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## Jamie_Lee (Oct 28, 2010)

devil1824 said:


> This is working so far.
> 
> http://enid.craigslist.org/cto/4119280944.html</div>


This is all it shows me


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## WillieT (Aug 25, 2010)

Jamie_Lee said:


> This is all it shows me


 1997 Jeep Cherokee - $1750 (Enid, OK )
image 1image 2image 3image 4image 5image 6image 7image 8image 9
1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ)
220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!

$1750

Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It's a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.

If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and ***** a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a ******** job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.

If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid ****: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate? 
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?

If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.

DETAILS:
-I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points. 
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me. 
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-*** crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
-Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn't matter
A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don't want to replace them I will. 
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
Life got in the way - it ain't happening. 
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ***, so there.

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver's side door cosmetic issues. 
And it's ****** it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of **** honda project down the road. 
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.

-Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
I don't give a ****. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I'd drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a ****. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750. 
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an ******* - then no sale.

-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.

Sorry it won't copy the pics.


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## t-tung (Nov 13, 2005)

Thanks for the copy and paste. I was worried it may disappear. I still want to pass it around to some buddies


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## fishing-guru (Feb 2, 2011)

I would buy it if I had the money. I like a honest seller.


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## Jamie_Lee (Oct 28, 2010)

Haha That is awesome, thank you!!


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## txteltech (Jul 6, 2012)

Classic


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## br549 (Jan 17, 2006)

That is some tough talk for this little girl


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## Hooked (Oct 15, 2004)

Sounds like something my nephew up that direction would write. But I checked, it isn't him..........lol


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## CroakerChoker (Jan 24, 2013)

Oklahoma is just another name for north Texas.


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## tbone2374 (Feb 27, 2010)

good one!


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## tipitina (Jun 13, 2007)

I don't know about best ever... Definitely awesome, but I still remember this one from 4-5 years ago... also, it included a pic of the xterra, 
AND of the hammer pants....BEST EVER IMHO

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County)

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.​


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## beaucp (Apr 8, 2011)

made. my. day. LMAO


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