# Academy



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

I went to renew my fishing license and I noticed the individual rods are not being replaced but the ammo and glocks are back. Also Blue Bell is on sale for $3.99 at Randall's.


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## Fordzilla06 (Oct 14, 2010)

Most random post ever!


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

not really Ford... I now know I cant take my broken rod back to academy to get a gun and ammo after I pick up the blue bell..
..


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## Melon (Jun 1, 2004)

Fordzilla06 said:


> Most random post ever!


Agree. I think the Blue Bell was the real reason for the post.


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## Umpy I (Jul 23, 2013)

My Blue Bell keeps jumping out of my bowl and sticking to my ribs.....


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

I picked up some nice asparagus at Food Town yesterday morning.


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## 9121SS (Jun 28, 2009)

Went into a Burger King yesterday. Did y'all know they sell frenchfry's too?


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## HTownBoi281 (May 13, 2006)

Fordzilla06 said:


> Most random post ever!


So I went to Tuesday morning for a electric kettle and ended up at Bestbuy and walked out with a snickers bar and got some gum stuck on my shoe and I thought, "DANGIT!! did I rotate my tires yet??"


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## owens33 (May 2, 2007)

that reminds me of the crack in my windshield that needs attention.


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

20 pack o buds is on sale as well. sold out when...ok after i left


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## bighrt4 (Oct 26, 2012)

Blue bell is a close second to guns and ammo.


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

They didnt pick up trash yday, but will today instead.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Harbor Freight 25% off coupon for September.

http://www.harborfreight.com/20off-...medium=aff&utm_campaign=wts-coupons&hftref=cj


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## KarrMar (Jul 12, 2011)

I like pie.


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## speckle-catcher (May 20, 2004)

regulator said:


> not really Ford... I now know I cant take my broken rod back to academy to get a gun and ammo after I pick up the blue bell..
> ..


better pick up the Blue Bell AFTER you stop at Academy.


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## Main Frame 8 (Mar 16, 2007)

Did I turn off the iron?


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## MapMaster (May 25, 2004)

I had a bag of oranges once also...and banannas do grow on trees but don't take them on the boat.


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## Navi (Jun 2, 2009)

I stayed at a holiday inn express last night


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## reeltimer (Feb 5, 2010)

I was told I put 5000 miles on a week rental?..

sent from my taxpayer-funded sail phone and yes the government is tapped into my talk


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## BadBob (Dec 16, 2010)

dwi's suck my wife is ****** and bike is wrecked


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## FISHINFOOL87 (Jun 21, 2010)

I love lamp?


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## Alexnillo (Jan 10, 2008)

I am ready to go dove hunting. My hands smell like garlic.


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## gone red fishing (May 26, 2006)

Best random post ever lmao !! í ½í¸‚í ½í¸‚í ½í¸‚ 


Oh and I like the color Red . í ½í¸Ž


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## Spirit (Nov 19, 2008)

We had a horrid mosquito hatch last night --- overflowed a dustpan with dead carcasses.

Any my friend had a blowout!


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## INTOTHEBLUE (Jun 21, 2011)

I'm on a boat


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## Fordzilla06 (Oct 14, 2010)

INTOTHEBLUE said:


> I'm on a boat


Annnnd it's goin fast annnd


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## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

Did someone say pie?


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## eric5678 (Sep 12, 2010)

chrigging said:


> Did someone say pie?


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## speckledred (Jun 1, 2004)

What kind of pie?


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

speckledred said:


> What kind of pie?


Fish Pie...


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

blk jck 224 said:


> fish pie...


pie in the eye!


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## speckledred (Jun 1, 2004)

A glass of sherry with that pie?


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## MarkU (Jun 3, 2013)

Anyone had a cavity search done, without a dentist present?


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## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

Pinto BEANS gave me gas today, and its almost time to go home.


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## Chase4556 (Aug 26, 2008)

I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

One eyed mullet swim in circles.


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

DCAVA said:


> pie in the eye!


no thats eye IN the pie


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## alant (Dec 7, 2006)

Not mine.


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## Rack Ranch (May 25, 2004)

I like french fried potatoes


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## Texasfishin (Jun 12, 2008)

I like to party


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

The girl across the hall is obnoxious


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## Centex fisher (Apr 25, 2006)

Someone did some crop dusting in the break room. I like soco.


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## Bozo (Jun 16, 2004)

Some gals in yoga pants make me enjoy going to the gym, most don't.


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## ydnark (May 26, 2004)

*What's random about it?*

After living with a certifide ADD/ADHD wife for 35 years, this all seems perfectly normal to me...

PICTURE OF A RABBIT WITH PANCAKE 
ON IT'S HEAD GOES HERE


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## BretE (Jan 24, 2008)




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## SaltwaterTom (Jun 23, 2013)

Squirrell!!!!!!!!! Look, something shiny............


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## pg542 (Oct 9, 2006)

Is it okay to yell "MOVIE" in a crowded firehouse?


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## goldie (Nov 17, 2008)




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## redneck91 (May 19, 2012)

*Why does the reminiscent peace enrich the snow?*


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## CroakerChoker (Jan 24, 2013)

3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679


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## reeltimer (Feb 5, 2010)

Mainsail sure is a lot of reporting about Johnny football...what I wanna know is can Johnny read and write?

sent from my taxpayer-funded sail phone and yes the government is tapped into my talk


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## TIMBOv2 (Mar 18, 2010)

chrigging said:


> Did someone say pie?


I likes pie!!!


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## bigheadboo (Jul 3, 2011)

CroakerChoker said:


> 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679


That's a lot of pie!!


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## 9121SS (Jun 28, 2009)

I got to work at 5:12 this morning and my dog is black. Put new tires on the boat trailer. I need a new hat.


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

9121SS said:


> I got to work at 5:12 this morning and my dog is black. Put new tires on the boat trailer. I need a new hat.


I have 1 new tire on my boat trailer. Will it snow in North America today? Why does the forum have us wait 2 min between posts. 6 seconds now ?!?!?!?!?


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## Poon Chaser (Aug 22, 2006)

I like turtles


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

Be right back...I gotta poop! :walkingsm


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## reeltimer (Feb 5, 2010)

can you get a contact high off the marijuana thread?

sent from my taxpayer-funded sail phone and yes the government is tapped into my talk


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## monkeyman1 (Dec 30, 2007)

Interstate 75-month batteries only last 39 months. And you don't get much warning when about to go out in a diesel pickup.


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

I was thinking about math the other day


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## Justin_Smithey (Aug 26, 2011)

Diggn for gold


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

Can I replace a rod at academy, does anybody know...


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

The sky is blue


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

Is non-potable water ok to drink as long as you don't put it in a pot?


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

I found some chiggers on Memorial Day or maybe they found me.


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Sometimes random thoughts are difficult to come up with


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Saw this at CostCo


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## ydnark (May 26, 2004)

*Nutbags!*

Yer all a bunch of danged NUTBAGS!

This has got to be one of the funniest threads ever...


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## bubbas kenner (Sep 4, 2010)

I buy my underwear at Kmart.


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## Spirit (Nov 19, 2008)

Opinion - 3.14 = onion


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## rsparker67 (Mar 30, 2008)

my dog farts...alot


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## Poon Chaser (Aug 22, 2006)

Summer is a good time to ride mopeds up to K-Mart and eat at the K-Mart deli.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk 2


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## rsparker67 (Mar 30, 2008)

I can do that.... here, hold my beer


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

The moon is made of green cheese


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## TheExtreme (Aug 17, 2010)

Do the folks that put the rubber bands on lobster pinchers have all of their fingers?


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## stammster - temporary (Jul 20, 2009)

I find Bugs Bunny attractive when he dresses like a girl bunny. My favorite color is green. Pork butts are on sale at Kroger. It's dark outside. The new Cabela's hunting magazine has no ammo prices.


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

I lost .8 pounds of pre frozen thawed refrozen recooked in free old bay seasoning


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## goodwood (Mar 30, 2009)

nice blue bay.


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## TheExtreme (Aug 17, 2010)

regulator said:


> I lost .8 pounds of pre frozen thawed refrozen recooked in free old bay seasoning


Green to ya for another post reference.

Do I smell bacon?


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## reeltimer (Feb 5, 2010)

Sports and Outdoors

sent from my taxpayer-funded sail phone and yes the government is tapped into my talk


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## HoustonKid (Dec 29, 2005)

Skeeters bad and small. DP is not on sale at Academy. My dog also farts a lot. Guy at work is trying to pass a 7mm kidney stone. He gonna have surgery to get it out.


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## FARTS-N-MATCHES (Apr 20, 2011)

I over trusted a fart the other day, I was commando, had to spray off the drive way. I could be kicked off the forum for posting a picture resembling that day. Shiner is cheapest at SAMs. 


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD


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## 3rdbarnottoodeep (May 1, 2009)

82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.


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## 9121SS (Jun 28, 2009)

Saw a guy with his pants on the ground yesterday. Can't stand that! Went home and mowed the yard. What's the best bait for hardheads at night?


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## flashlight (Jul 9, 2007)

HC said:


> Skeeters bad and small. DP is not on sale at Academy. My dog also farts a lot. Guy at work is trying to pass a 7mm kidney stone. He gonna have surgery to get it out.


The kidney stone thing must be going around. Ive got one too. Because of it, I can't mow my grass and its causing the mosquitos to go crazy around my house! I think I will go get some Blue Bell ice cream and make me feel better.


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

WHOA STOP THE PRESSES!!!!

Did someone back there say pork butts were on sale at Kroger?!?!?!!!


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

My doggie is an angel!


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## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

Jalapenos hurt my butt today.


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## BadBob (Dec 16, 2010)

my boat runs skinnier than yours


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

it's 10:07 and a jogger went by.


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## MarkU (Jun 3, 2013)

I shipped my pants at Kmart!


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

A tarantula came out of his hole with this rain


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## big john o (Aug 12, 2005)

Jimmy crack corn and IDGAF


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

NO SERIOUSLY....are the butts on sale at Kroger?!?!?!


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## goatchze (Aug 1, 2006)

surf_ox said:


> NO SERIOUSLY....are the butts on sale at Kroger?!?!?!


I hope so, because I like big ones, and I cannot lie.


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## rdtfishn (Sep 14, 2012)

They've done studies you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Vegas odds for the Texans to win the Superbowl:16/1


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## bigheadboo (Jul 3, 2011)

there's a sucker born every day but they don't stay that way long


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

i just wanna see 100


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

regulator said:


> i just wanna see 100


100 what???


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## big john o (Aug 12, 2005)

surf_ox said:


> 100 what???


you won


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

100 random posts??????????>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<??????????????


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## 9121SS (Jun 28, 2009)

I hate working with cry babies!


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## Centex fisher (Apr 25, 2006)

Why are they called dingleberries?


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

big john o said:


> you won


yea for me

is it time to go home yet


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## mas360 (Nov 21, 2006)

This thread is going to beat the "Fishing babes in bikinis" thread....


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

The bird hunt for Sunday is done with; whitewings crossed the border into Mexico with the rain


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## 9121SS (Jun 28, 2009)

What is a wukerbill?


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## Pablo (May 21, 2004)

Did somebody say...


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Pablo said:


> Did somebody say...


what d flock??


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

Centex fisher said:


> Why are they called dingleberries?


Cuz they have seeds??????


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## Y-Not (Sep 14, 2012)

The beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for desert.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Black Hawk Down is an intense movie depicting an actual event of Rangers and Delta Forces in Somalia.


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## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

I am hungry, taco sounds good.


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## donkeyman (Jan 8, 2007)

Ribeyes on sale at HEB 3.97LB


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

I'd like some sasparilla today


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

I made turkey meatloaf yesterday. It was darn good.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/turkey-meatloaf-recipe/index.html


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Is it wetter underwater if you're there when it rains
Is it shorter to New York, than it is by plane
Between myself and I, I wonder who's the dumber
Is it hotter down south than it is in the Summer


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## 9121SS (Jun 28, 2009)

sweenyite said:


> Is it wetter underwater if you're there when it rains
> Is it shorter to New York, than it is by plane
> Between myself and I, I wonder who's the dumber
> Is it hotter down south than it is in the Summer


Did you forget to take your meds again today?


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

9121SS said:


> Did you forget to take your meds again today?


 dadgum it.... yes


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## Cody C (May 15, 2009)

This needs more cowbell


Cody C


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## Mr. Breeze (Jan 6, 2005)

Biscuit and Gravy or Sausage Biscuit....???? Think I will have both.


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

I went to renew my fishing license and I noticed the individual rods are not being replaced but the ammo and glocks are back. Also Blue Bell is on sale for $3.99 at Randall's.

deja vu all over again


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

We went fishing the other night and had fun but there were tons of skeeters (blue waves too). We bought some diesel and sunflower seeds on the way but the diesel tasted bad. Did you know you're not supposed to burn old tires? New ones either. We caught some trout and some fish too. My cooler isn't a Yeti, but it kept the drinks cold anyway. My pet rock ran away. We quit feeding it.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

regulator said:


> I went to renew my fishing license and I noticed the individual rods are not being replaced but the ammo and glocks are back. Also Blue Bell is on sale for $3.99 at Randall's.
> 
> deja vu all over again


Thank you Yogi


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## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

Earty teal season starts in 8 days. 7 1/2 dove loads knocks there dack in the dirt.


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Bonobo's share 98.7 % of human DNA


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## LazyL (May 15, 2013)

8675309


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## ol' salt (Jun 11, 2006)

I'm with you Umpy


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

lazyl said:


> 8675309


Where's Jenny??


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

DCAVA said:


> Where's Jenny??


7777 Katy Freeway


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

DCAVA said:


> Where's Jenny??


Here!


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

Has anyone seen brad luby?


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Yep. Found him next to Waldo.


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

24Buds said:


> Has anyone seen brad luby?


Lubys has mediocre food. Why did they buy fuddruckers?


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

I like the fried haddock from luby's; just ate that!!!


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

DCAVA said:


> I like the fried haddock from luby's; just ate that!!!


I hate men wearing hammocks, fried or not.


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Why is the service department always trying to high gross me on used car [email protected]#$%^&$#%


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

It costs 289k a year for the right to sell hotdogs out of a cart on the sidewalk outside central park. Dogs go for 2 bucks


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## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

I love lamp

Sent from my MB886 using Tapatalk 2


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Ari crisna


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Aren't you glad you sprayed Cutter? Don't you wish your neighbors would?


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## Mr. Breeze (Jan 6, 2005)

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore and you better cut the pizza in 4 pieces, I ain't hungry enough to eat 6.


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Kate Upton


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## notthatdeep (Feb 5, 2005)

I was looking for Academy...Is this the marijuana thread?


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## redneck91 (May 19, 2012)

notthatdeep said:


> I was looking for Academy...Is this the marijuana thread?


No, this is Patrick!!


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## Dick Hanks (Aug 16, 2007)

chrigging said:


> Jalapenos hurt my butt today.


If Ya took the stems off before you put them in there....
It wouldn't hurt so much


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## smak90 (Sep 4, 2011)

I'll be fishing in 9 hours.


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

ya'll see the size of that chicken


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## Poon Chaser (Aug 22, 2006)

Any Brad Luby sightings?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk 2


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## fishingtwo (Feb 23, 2009)

The ice cream was good and I have not got a new fishing liscence yet.


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## reeltimer (Feb 5, 2010)

Meet me at the Academy parking lot..we can settle this 

sent from my taxpayer-funded sail phone and yes the government is tapped into my talk


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## fishingtwo (Feb 23, 2009)

reeltimer said:


> Meet me at the Academy parking lot..we can settle this
> 
> sent from my taxpayer-funded sail phone and yes the government is tapped into my talk


Your Not getting any of my ice cream...


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## Mr. Breeze (Jan 6, 2005)

You can observe a lot just by watching. The future ain't what it used to be.


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

notthatdeep said:


> i was looking for academy...is this the marijuana thread?


 you must be thinking of cheech and chongs "nice dreams"


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## Haute Pursuit (Jun 26, 2006)

You ain't seen nothing until you watch Stumpy jumprope...


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## Leo (May 21, 2004)

Finally a thread that makes sense and confirms we have a bunch of nuckin futs here


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## eric5678 (Sep 12, 2010)

No gym for home, work out floor with 30, but is it for 20 like 30 lb when you no lift it to be for men, for 30 lbs instead? or half is 10 for 20 pounds?
UMM HOW i word this... ok u take 20 lbs no lifting for 30lb if guy, so divide 2 u dont sit, u get 10 but for guy it no 30, so 20 would be for guy if u werent a girl ?


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

This pat is toooo strange!!!


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Nacho Libre


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## Dick Hanks (Aug 16, 2007)

CroakerChoker said:


> 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679


I can't tell..... Is this blueberry or apple pie?

Anyway, can I get 2 scoops of that Blue Bell $3.99 ice cream on what ever kind of pie this is?

I'll just eat that in the Academy parking lot if that's OK? I hope that there ain't no thieves stealin stuff out of trucks while I'm eating that pie.


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

Someone PM me to see if I'm up yet.


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## davis300 (Jun 27, 2006)

I'm sick of taxes and why is it illegal to shoot bears in Texas?


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## Capt. Marcus Canales (Aug 25, 2005)

Haute Pursuit said:


> You ain't seen nothing until you watch Stumpy jumprope...


that is so wrong in so many ways. :rotfl:


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## CoastalOutfitters (Aug 20, 2004)

why is it called unsweet tea and not just tea? who is the guy that unsweetens it and how does he do this?



wouldn't you think if you were traveling thru the desert on a horse with no name , that at some point you would stop and say I'm gonna name you spot, or trigger, or thunder ?


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

Johnny WHO


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck??


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## robjord (Dec 3, 2009)

? earlier about a wukerbill. It is a wickerbill. You can use it to repair your fletis or difleatis, if you don,t have a good wifflerod! Glad I straightened that out for you.


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?


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## Goags (May 28, 2004)

Time to break wind and head into the camp...


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Free beer tomorrow!


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Rhippotottapus


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

Anyone ever verify the 99 cents per pound pork butts at Kroger?


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## spurgersalty (Jun 29, 2010)

Peanut butter makes me gassy:redface: Oh, and use the forks starting from the left.

Â©


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

little bo sheep lost her peep..


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

regulator said:


> little bo sheep lost her peep..


 Was she twerking?


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## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

sweenyite said:


> Was she twerking?












Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2


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## Goags (May 28, 2004)

Fuzzlebusting, at it's finest


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Don't take any wooden nickels....


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## 007 (Mar 11, 2008)

Did I miss something?


...


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## fishingtwo (Feb 23, 2009)

Oooooooooooooooooo


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## BretE (Jan 24, 2008)

007 said:


> Did I miss something?
> 
> Not much....think some dude was lookin for you awhile back....


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

My friend texted me that $99 St Croix's are $24 at Academy. I have too many fishing rods.


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## Haute Pursuit (Jun 26, 2006)

This thread should be renamed "According to Harbormaster"... :rotfl:


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## 9121SS (Jun 28, 2009)

I caught a 5.5 lb Bass on a garlic soaked hot dog wennie today!


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

Blue Bell @ Krogers 2.99each or 3for 10.00


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## kyle2601 (Oct 23, 2008)

I went to the chiropractor this morning and ended up walking out of academy with some P-Mags and ammo.


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Gas grass or smash


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

well good mornin, anything goin on today...


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

Somehow I just knew it would be Sunday when I woke up today. I must have ESPN.


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## FoghornLeghorn (Sep 11, 2012)

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?


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## Goags (May 28, 2004)

Dollars to donuts, we'll never catch AL Kyda.


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

Goags said:


> Dollars to donuts, we'll never catch AL Kyda.


Maybe not, but I did catch Al Cohol.


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## FoghornLeghorn (Sep 11, 2012)

We're winnin' the war against Al Qaeda, but we're still losin' the war against Al Sharpton!!!


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## TxToeZ (Nov 9, 2012)

If I lose 50% of my 401K in a market crash, why do I have to make a 100% to get all my money back and who's making off with the other 50% ?? I'd like to catch that cork soaker in the Academy parking lot and....................


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## NOCREEK (Jan 18, 2012)

Anyone joining the Michael Berry's ******* Country Club? Check out this narely poison ivy I had between my fingers last week!


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

My best friend used to come over ever afternoon to watch these guys as his mother wouldn't let him watch them.


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

9:20 is too late to start a football game on a Monday night.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

poppadawg said:


> 9:20 is too late to start a football game on a Monday night.


Not if you are retired.angelsm


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

poppadawg said:


> 9:20 is too late to start a football game on a Monday night.


 Unless you are off and starting graveyards the next night!


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## Haute Pursuit (Jun 26, 2006)

Just posting to change the page so I don't have to look at Nocreek's f'd up fingers next time! :slimer: Hope you heal up quick bro!


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Haute Pursuit said:


> Just posting to change the page so I don't have to look at Nocreek's f'd up fingers next time! :slimer: Hope you heal up quick bro!


Those fingers look more like they went someplace nasty in Hong Kong. Hope he heals up quickly too!


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Does anyone know the difference between Ketchup and catsup? Is the latter made from cats?


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

fishingcacher said:


> Does anyone know the difference between Ketchup and catsup? Is the latter made from cats?


Yep. And corndogs are made of... corn and dogs?
What part of the chicken exactly do they get "nuggets" from?


----------



## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

sweenyite said:


> Yep. And corndogs are made of... corn and dogs?
> What part of the chicken exactly do they get "nuggets" from?


From the nether regions.


----------



## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

I Fall In said:


> From the nether regions.


 Oh, from Dutch chickens. Who'dathunkit?


----------



## 007 (Mar 11, 2008)

Sometimes I think and then I wonder why?


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Anyone seen the movie* Lost in Translation*. Sophia Coppola won an Academy Award for the film.


----------



## regulator (May 21, 2004)

fishingcacher said:


> Anyone seen the movie* Lost in Translation*. Sophia Coppola won an Academy Award for the film.


HEY you are the one that started this ****. I dont understand whats "LOST IN TRANSLATION


----------



## Goags (May 28, 2004)

excuse me, while I kiss the sky...


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

I like grapes


----------



## NOCREEK (Jan 18, 2012)

Happiness is your buddy leaving his new 45hp 4WD air condition John Deer tractor at your house for a week insisting you use it all you want while he is out of town! I've ran two tanks of fuel so far, mowed and cleared every spare moment!


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

I hope the cowboys don't have smuckers grape jelly at half time and smuck it up!!!


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

You could make some money like these guys.

http://www.vegas.com/attractions/off-the-strip/dig-this/


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

The doves were flying east to north and south to east.


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

NOCREEK said:


> Happiness is your buddy leaving his new 45hp 4WD air condition John Deer tractor at your house for a week insisting you use it all you want while he is out of town! I've ran two tanks of fuel so far, mowed and cleared every spare moment!


Call in sick from work and bush hog 23 hours a day?????


----------



## owens33 (May 2, 2007)

how much are them skeletons? chickens have tenders, roosters have nuggets. it's time for new fishng license. still no 22lr at academe, but i got a bunch at gander mntn. we got 3" of rain over the weekend. did y'all see that twerkin' girl catch on fire?


----------



## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

I think I got red bugs while filling feeders this weekend, I like bacon wrapped dove, I hate Mondays, I love Coopers BBQ.


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

regulator said:


> I lost .8 pounds of pre frozen thawed refrozen recooked in free old bay seasoning


if i put ice on myself and then go outside at 3 pm in texas, can i lose weight that way?:help:


----------



## Hullahopper (May 24, 2004)

Do these jeans make my butt look big?


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

chrigging said:


> I am hungry, taco sounds good.


.


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

Mont is prob laughing at this thread that really totally makes sense.

Oh and i saw a commercial on the Pork Butts at Kroger over the weekend. They are 99 cents per pound...and i have no room for one in the freezer.

Whats a picnic roast??


----------



## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

I Fall In said:


> Blue Bell @ Krogers 2.99each or 3for 10.00


 Hey, that ain't right.

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2


----------



## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

surf_ox said:


> Whats a picnic roast??


Forgetting your sunscreen at the company picnic.

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2


----------



## brad luby (Sep 28, 2007)

*me*



**** chaser said:


> Any Brad Luby sightings?
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk 2


i can be seen occasionally at the academys off I-10 and bunker hill or the one in katy....


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Too bad there's no schlotzky's deli in brownsville.


----------



## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

I wanna shrimp po-boy for lunch today.mmmmm shrimp.


----------



## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

Porcupines have to hump very carefully...


----------



## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

Fishin' Soldier said:


> Porcupines have to hump very carefully...


Yes they do, or they will get pricked with a *****. No porcupine twerking videos please.


----------



## Mccoyboys (Sep 6, 2012)

time for a Safety meeting!!!


----------



## regulator (May 21, 2004)

Hullahopper said:


> Do these jeans make my butt look big?


NO NOT AT ALL....Your butt makes you butt look big.


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

NOCREEK said:


> Anyone joining the Michael Berry's ******* Country Club? Check out this narely poison ivy I had between my fingers last week!


could be transfered genital herpes...........just sayin'.


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

Who's leading the safety meeting???

And be careful answering this form has a search option.


----------



## MarkU (Jun 3, 2013)

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex


----------



## redspeck (Jul 3, 2012)

I have to go, my Mom is calling me.


----------



## Goags (May 28, 2004)

Horse butts on sale at Crojere's in Paris.


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Whodunnit?


----------



## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

Alibabba!!!!


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

fishin' soldier said:


> alibabba!!!!


or the forty thieves???????


----------



## redspeck (Jul 3, 2012)

Why do i use my left hand to change channels, oh chit! my mom is calling me again.


----------



## txgoddess (Sep 21, 2007)

How can I tell whether my lymph nodes are swollen or if my neck is just fat?


----------



## Goags (May 28, 2004)

" Here's the first of the day...yaaaa, nik, nik, nik, pftttt, indians!"


----------



## redspeck (Jul 3, 2012)

Sorry it was my right hand, and now i cant lock my bedroom door.


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Hocus pocus!!


----------



## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

5:55 is the perfect time for MNF


----------



## txgoddess (Sep 21, 2007)

poppadawg said:


> 5:55 is the perfect time for MNF


MNF is stupid. JV football on Thurs, HS on Fri, College on Sat, and NFL on Sunday. That's what the rule should be.


----------



## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

Once upon a time
a goose drank wine,
a monkey chewed tobacco on a car street line,
the car street broke,the monkey choked,
they all went to heaven on a little tug boat.


----------



## 9121SS (Jun 28, 2009)

I need a Beer!


----------



## Ducatibilt (Jul 8, 2010)

So exactly how bad is saltwater for a truck and Top Water had some really fresh oysters the other night!


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

I still got rg3 playing tonight on my fantasy football team...woohooo


----------



## Tigerfan (Jun 20, 2010)

Mongo only pawn... in game of life


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

tigerfan said:


> mongo only pawn... In game of life


 telegram for mongo........


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.


----------



## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

Tigerfan said:


> Mongo only pawn... in game of life


"Oh no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad."


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

How come we have 250 some posts and not one mention of a potlicker or a croaker soaker?


----------



## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

because pot soakers and croaker lickers have been covered in other threads already.


----------



## Porky (Nov 1, 2006)

OK I wasted some brain cells reading this thread so here !
DISCLAIMER:
None of this has anything to do with us, someone else is responsible for the entire thing, and we have no idea who or why. We do not know anything about it. It may be alien life forms for all we know: we haven't a clue. You cannot blame us for anything that may result from your visit. That was entirely your own personal choice, made by you of your own volition, and without our knowledge. We do not, after all, have any control over you and cannot by any stretch of the imagination be expected to accept or acknowledge, be it legally or morally, any accountability for decisions made by you on an independent basis, utilizing your own free will, and without our intervention. We are therefore in no way, shape, or form answerable to anyone for any consequences arising from the aforementioned or indeed any other actions, similar or otherwise, because it was not us that did, or did not do anything. It is not even remotely our fault, and we are in no way prepared or willing to accept any liability, not even slightly, ever. We are, in fact completely and utterly blameless, in that it is definitely not our concern, and no blame can possibly be laid at our doorstep, even if we had one, the possession of which we hereby reserve as being entirely our own free choice. The onus is not on us at all, and furthermore, never has been. The entire matter is wholly beyond our control, and completely out of our hands, each of which are washed scrupulously clean of the whole business. We are not accountable for anything at all, and we hereby categorically deny all responsibility for all that has ever, or will ever happen. Our innocence is therefore wholly beyond doubt and absolutely unimpeachable, and so cannot, under even the remotest or unlikeliest circumstances, be brought into question. By clicking either on a link on this site, clicking on a link that leads to this site, or by arriving at this site by natural or supernatural means, you are in effect accepting responsibility for the fact that it is all entirely your own fault, down to the most miniscule detail, and that you are wholly accountable for whatever outcome may arise as a consequence of the aforementioned action or actions insofar as they were undertaken personally by you on an entirely voluntary basis and without any persuasion, coercion or influence from any party or parties other than yourself. Don't come sniveling to us, we are only figments of your imagination. I also agree that if I am ever with a contributor to this website during mealtimes I agree to pay for any super-sizing of their meal, or at least a nice dessert or one of those foo-foo drinks with an umbrella or a monkey. By admitting to have seen the worthless spineless drivel on this website (also known as content) I Agree Wholeheartedly and Without Reservation to the above. (Except maybe for that part about the monkey.)
All Your Base Are Belong To Us.
Soylent Green Is People!
Never make a bet with a Sicilian when Death is on the Line!
No. Really, I do agree.


----------



## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

Porky said:


> OK I wasted some brain cells reading this thread so here !
> DISCLAIMER:
> None of this has anything to do with us, someone else is responsible for the entire thing, and we have no idea who or why. We do not know anything about it. It may be alien life forms for all we know: we haven't a clue. You cannot blame us for anything that may result from your visit. That was entirely your own personal choice, made by you of your own volition, and without our knowledge. We do not, after all, have any control over you and cannot by any stretch of the imagination be expected to accept or acknowledge, be it legally or morally, any accountability for decisions made by you on an independent basis, utilizing your own free will, and without our intervention. We are therefore in no way, shape, or form answerable to anyone for any consequences arising from the aforementioned or indeed any other actions, similar or otherwise, because it was not us that did, or did not do anything. It is not even remotely our fault, and we are in no way prepared or willing to accept any liability, not even slightly, ever. We are, in fact completely and utterly blameless, in that it is definitely not our concern, and no blame can possibly be laid at our doorstep, even if we had one, the possession of which we hereby reserve as being entirely our own free choice. The onus is not on us at all, and furthermore, never has been. The entire matter is wholly beyond our control, and completely out of our hands, each of which are washed scrupulously clean of the whole business. We are not accountable for anything at all, and we hereby categorically deny all responsibility for all that has ever, or will ever happen. Our innocence is therefore wholly beyond doubt and absolutely unimpeachable, and so cannot, under even the remotest or unlikeliest circumstances, be brought into question. By clicking either on a link on this site, clicking on a link that leads to this site, or by arriving at this site by natural or supernatural means, you are in effect accepting responsibility for the fact that it is all entirely your own fault, down to the most miniscule detail, and that you are wholly accountable for whatever outcome may arise as a consequence of the aforementioned action or actions insofar as they were undertaken personally by you on an entirely voluntary basis and without any persuasion, coercion or influence from any party or parties other than yourself. Don't come sniveling to us, we are only figments of your imagination. I also agree that if I am ever with a contributor to this website during mealtimes I agree to pay for any super-sizing of their meal, or at least a nice dessert or one of those foo-foo drinks with an umbrella or a monkey. By admitting to have seen the worthless spineless drivel on this website (also known as content) I Agree Wholeheartedly and Without Reservation to the above. (Except maybe for that part about the monkey.)
> All Your Base Are Belong To Us.
> ...


OH!!!! I Got It. :idea:
No I Didn't. sad3sm


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

??????????????????????????????????
Good one though


----------



## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)




----------



## redspeck (Jul 3, 2012)

I'm grounded from 2cool now, THANKS!!!!!


----------



## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

Blk Jck 224 said:


>


That's funny stuff!

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2


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## BadBob (Dec 16, 2010)

Candy is a stripper name


----------



## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

BadBob said:


> Candy is a stripper name


Mom wants to know WHO THE HAIL IS CANDY?


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

i fall in said:


> mom wants to know who the hail is candy?


 the pretty candystriper


----------



## Dick Hanks (Aug 16, 2007)

At my age, I don't a hump day any more.

A hump hour would be just fine.


----------



## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Football at last


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

If you like Starbucks coffee it is on sale for up to four bags for 6.49 if you load your card. Buy the ones with the stickers on the front and go to Starbucks.com/rewards and get $2 for 2 bags as well and register the rewards and get a free tall cuo of coffee, a food item, and a $10 gift card. Each empty can also be redeemed for a free coffee.


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## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

fishingcacher said:


> If you like Starbucks coffee it is on sale for up to four bags for 6.49 if you load your card. Buy the ones with the stickers on the front and go to Starbucks.com/rewards and get $2 for 2 bags as well and register the rewards and get a free tall cuo of coffee, a food item, and a $10 gift card. Each empty can also be redeemed for a free coffee.


That hurt my brain.

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

I think rg3 ate smuckers before the game!


----------



## Goags (May 28, 2004)

Fishin' Soldier said:


> That hurt my brain.
> 
> Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2


He may have started early and stayed late...


----------



## regulator (May 21, 2004)

do they have deer corn at starbucks.


----------



## fishingtwo (Feb 23, 2009)

Blk Jck 224 said:


>


Daddy looks like he has a Bigger Smile now..


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Why DID the chicken cross the road?


----------



## poco jim (Jun 28, 2010)

Because Candy was across the road!


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

Just a heads-up, it's "Free Tea Tuesday" at Fischer's tomorrow...just thought I'd let y'all know. Aww man, where did I leave my keys? I hope I have enough barking monkeys for tomorrow! Dangit, did I save that Popsicle stick for my collection yesterday? How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Do you ever wonder if anyone is watching you while you sit at your desk and flick boogers at the wall? I think that new girl Karen does...I can't believe they hired her. But I think she likes the big green ones  Is the government tapped into MY talk? The world may never know.


----------



## reeltimer (Feb 5, 2010)

The only thing i like about soccer.... are the mom's


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

No bed of roses, no pleasure cruise


----------



## knowphish (Jul 10, 2008)

Tomorrow is


----------



## castaway300 (Oct 6, 2007)

*****

i just spent the last hour reading this entire thing backwards...now i can start my day


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Amazing furniture
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1412528898973819


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## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

If I paint my dove decoys like a wood duck. Would that help my spread any if I put wood ducks up in trees around the pool? Had two ducks in it this morn. Gonna try to hunt next weekend. Do u think I need a face mask? I will be hiding in the boys play house. 

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2


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## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

So with the flounder run starting up, I figured I would pick up an extra gallon of milk today. Do you think I should get low-fat or whole milk???


----------



## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

castaway300 said:


> i just spent the last hour reading this entire thing backwards...now i can start my day


HaHa, funny read


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

O'Fish'All Business said:


> So with the flounder run starting up, I figured I would pick up an extra gallon of milk today. Do you think I should get low-fat or whole milk???


I would skip the milk and go with almond milk. It doesn't spoil like milk. Or if you must try 2%.


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

DCAVA said:


> Why DID the chicken cross the road?


I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned


----------



## Ducatibilt (Jul 8, 2010)

fishingcacher said:


> I would skip the milk and go with almond milk. It doesn't spoil like milk. Or if you must try 2%.


If I add my 2% milk with my 1% milk do I end up with 3% or 1 1/2% milk and exactly how does one go about milking an almond anyway???????


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Ducatibilt said:


> If I add my 2% milk with my 1% milk do I end up with 3% or 1 1/2% milk and exactly how does one go about milking an almond anyway???????


1.5% if you use equal volumes of eat and you need small hands.


----------



## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

fishingcacher said:


> I would skip the milk and go with almond milk. It doesn't spoil like milk. Or if you must try 2%.





surf_ox said:


> I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned





Ducatibilt said:


> If I add my 2% milk with my 1% milk do I end up with 3% or 1 1/2% milk and exactly how does one go about milking an almond anyway???????


Lewis Black Knows...(Profanity Alert)


----------



## redspeck (Jul 3, 2012)

Ducatibilt said:


> If I add my 2% milk with my 1% milk do I end up with 3% or 1 1/2% milk and exactly how does one go about milking an almond anyway???????


Almonds have nipples, all almonds do. How do you think they feed there young?


----------



## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

Is txgoddess around?


----------



## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

redspeck said:


> Almonds have nipples, all almonds do. How do you think they feed there young?


I was thinking regurgitation...


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

redspeck said:


> Almonds have nipples, all almonds do. How do you think they feed there young?


They feed them live peanuts


----------



## txgoddess (Sep 21, 2007)

24Buds said:


> Is txgoddess around?


Like you don't have a gps tracker attached somewhere to my car.


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

O'Fish'All Business said:


> So with the flounder run starting up, I figured I would pick up an extra gallon of milk today. Do you think I should get low-fat or whole milk???


Ya know, now that I think about it, I've never seen a flounder with legs...so why do they call it the flounder run if they don't have any legs to run with?!?


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

O'Fish'All Business said:


> Ya know, now that I think about it, I've never seen a flounder with legs...so why do they call it the flounder run if they don't have any legs to run with?!?


Its their DELTA TAU CHI name....


----------



## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

Wonder what is Mont's reasoning behind the Sheepy being the 2cool logo?


----------



## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

300th post on this wonderful thread.


----------



## redspeck (Jul 3, 2012)

I have 301! oh chit chit got to go, i'm still grounded


----------



## Reality Czech (Jul 17, 2004)

To the 301;...this is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your ramblings, incoherent responses were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this thread is now dumber for having read it.
I award you no greenie points, and may God have mercy on your souls.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


----------



## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

Reality Czech said:


> To the 301;...this is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your ramblings, incoherent responses were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this thread is now dumber for having read it.
> I award you no greenie points, and may God have mercy on your souls.
> 
> :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:


Thanks for this post. I was holding out for 303.:spineyes:


----------



## bender (Jan 31, 2005)

1.99 blue bell and 15.99 24 pack bud light at Randalls 12 hr sale sat....


----------



## rattletrap (Sep 9, 2005)

hwell:


----------



## bender (Jan 31, 2005)




----------



## bender (Jan 31, 2005)




----------



## NOCREEK (Jan 18, 2012)

Luke..... I'M your father!!!!


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Bought a shirt and a pair of shorts that are too small for me at Academy. On a positive note they had 4 boxes of 22LR. Each box was a little over $3 for 50 bullets. Why is it called a pair of shorts when you only get one and not a pair or maybe you do get a pair?


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

This type of garbage is unacceptable, especially for aging hardworking immigrants who were willing to work hard to have a better life. What can be done to help this. This type of garbage makes me sad and sick.


----------



## Goags (May 28, 2004)

carryyourbooks said:


> This type of garbage is unacceptable, especially for aging hardworking immigrants who were willing to work hard to have a better life. What can be done to help this. This type of garbage makes me sad and sick.


work harder and read less. How much is BBell?


----------



## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Is it safe to hunt in Mexico?


----------



## 3192 (Dec 30, 2004)

This is a true story... Please forward it to everyone that you can.... You will have to read it to believe it....

My daughter and I had just finished a salad at Neiman-Marcus Cafe in Dallas & decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus Cookie". It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe and the waitress said with a small frown "I'm afraid not." Well" I said, "would you let me buy the recipe?"

With a cute smile, she said YES". I asked how much and she responded, "Only two fifty, it's a great deal!" I said with approval, "just add it to my tab".. Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement from Neiman-Marcus and it was $285.00. I looked again and remembered I had only spent $9.95 for two salads and about $20.00 for a scarf. As I glanced at the bottom of the statement, it said, "Cookie Recipe - $250.00". That's outrageous!!!

I called Neiman's Accounting Dept. and told them that the waitress said it was "two-fifty," which clearly does not mean "two hundred and fifty dollars" by any POSSIBLE interpretation of the phrase. Neiman-Marcus refused to budge.. They would not refund my money, because according to them, "What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have already seen the recipe - we absolutely will not refund your money at this point." I explained to her the criminal statutes which govern fraud in Texas. I threatened to refer them to the Better Business Bureau and the State's Attorney General for engaging in fraud. I was basically told, "Do what you want, we dont give a ****, and we're not refunding your money." I waited a moment, thinking of how I could get even,or even try to get any of my money back. I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250.00, and now I'm going to have $250.00 worth of fun."

I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the United States with an e-mail account has a $250.00 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus... for free..She replied, "I wish you wouldn't do this" I said, "Well you should have thought of that before you ripped me off", and slammed down the phone on her.. So, here it is!!! Please, please, please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of. I paid $250.00 dollars for this... I don't want Neiman-Marcus to ever get another penny off of this recipe....

(Recipe may be halved): 
2 cups butter 
4 cups flour 
2 tsp. baking soda 
2 cups granulated sugar 
2 cups brown sugar 
5 cups blended oatmeal (measure oatmeal and blend in blender to a fine powder) 
24 oz. chocolate chips 
1 tsp. salt 
1 8 oz. Hershey bar (grated) 
4 eggs 
2 tsp. baking powder 
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice) 
2 tsp. vanilla 
Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla; mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda. Add chocolate chips, Hershey bar and nuts. Roll into balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet..Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies.. Have Fun!!!

This is not a joke - this is a true story... Ride free citizens!!!! This isn't some stupid chain letter either.. pass it on.. if you don't, you won't die or get dumped.. you'll just do the world an injustice...


----------



## spurgersalty (Jun 29, 2010)

galvbay said:


> This is a true story... Please forward it to everyone that you can.... You will have to read it to believe it....
> 
> My daughter and I had just finished a salad at Neiman-Marcus Cafe in Dallas & decided to have a small dessert. Because both of us are such cookie lovers, we decided to try the "Neiman-Marcus Cookie". It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe and the waitress said with a small frown "I'm afraid not." Well" I said, "would you let me buy the recipe?"
> 
> ...


You obviously don't know how to write a check. The correct way is:two hundred fifty dollars and no/00.....in other words....."250"
And why didn't you catch it at the register when you SIGNED your receipt?
You're fault man. Pay for your mistake, but, leave the recipe up

Â©


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

I searched online for a cheaper cell phone service all day. All I ever do is talk and text. I knew there was a "lifeline" service for landlines for cheap phone service for low income people. But, I had no idea there was a free service for cell phones. But there are! I actually qualify for a free phone and 250 text and 250 mins talk each month free! They're govt subsidized.


----------



## Alexnillo (Jan 10, 2008)

Shoot Cookie Monster, take barrel, make deer feeder. Shut the front door.


----------



## Goags (May 28, 2004)

Those cookies must be REAL good...saw that Neiman's is being bought by private investors for $6B. Bet they don't sell pork butts


----------



## Reality Czech (Jul 17, 2004)

> (Recipe may be halved):


That's good to know,......a full recipe would cost $250 just for the ingredients. And everyone knows a halved recipe has half the calories.

Kroger has butter on sale tomorrow, $1.77/lb


----------



## ieatfish (Jun 22, 2013)

Wow thats a crazy story

Sent from my SGH-T889 using Tapatalk 2


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## fishingtwo (Feb 23, 2009)

Why does Ivory bar soap float?


----------



## Leo (May 21, 2004)

fishingtwo said:


> Daddy looks like he has a Bigger Smile now..


Thats because he just ate some candy


----------



## Melon (Jun 1, 2004)

Jerky on sell!


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

So if Popeye's fried chicken is really owned by Popeye- why isn't spinach on the menu?


----------



## bubbas kenner (Sep 4, 2010)

I like fried oysters dipped in cocktail sauce with extra horseradish sauce and fresh sgueezed lemon.


----------



## Goags (May 28, 2004)

O'Fish'All Business said:


> So if Popeye's fried chicken is really owned by Popeye- why isn't spinach on the menu?


 Do you think Popeye is using Olive Oyl?


----------



## GSMAN (May 22, 2004)

Ok. I'll play. I bought me a new pair of hunting boots at Academy for the special whitewing season opening day and I got a blister the first hunt. It was on my heel. But everything turned out ok as I went to CVS and bought me a big band aid and it fixed me right up! Whew....that was a close call!!


----------



## spurgersalty (Jun 29, 2010)

Â©


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

Goags said:


> Do you think Popeye is using Olive Oyl?


Do you mean giving her the "daily special"?  If so, I've heard he loves the breast and thigh mixed bucket...


----------



## Goags (May 28, 2004)

O'Fish'All Business said:


> Do you mean giving her the "daily special"?  If so, I've heard he loves the breast and thigh mixed bucket...


That would be the "2 small breasts and thighs special" Is that a #4 at the window? :wink: I'm in a hurry, CVS has mineral oil suppositories on a midmadness sale...


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

carryyourbooks said:


> I searched online for a cheaper cell phone service all day. All I ever do is talk and text. I knew there was a "lifeline" service for landlines for cheap phone service for low income people. But, I had no idea there was a free service for cell phones. But there are! I actually qualify for a free phone and 250 text and 250 mins talk each month free! They're govt subsidized.


I doubt that it is a very good phone.

http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/fooddrink/a/cookie_recipe.htm


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

Why isn't my keyboard in alphabetical order? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z now I know my- hey did you guys ever wonder why the Sheepshead was chosen as the logo for 2coolfi...I like palindromes, ya' know? like rotor, and racecar, and toot... Oh boy! don't even get me started on hyperboles!


----------



## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

The stainless Igloo snaps rock!


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

thank God for dvr's. did anyone see what came on during primetime tonight?


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Great day off...caught and ate some big fried redfish, but the grease has made me feel like gasseous clay!!


----------



## Pasadena1944 (Mar 20, 2010)

My kids have me on ignore!!


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

Ill bet the pork butts at Niemann Marcus are prob $250.00 per pound. 

Niemann Marcus sells food?!?!?!?!


----------



## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

I want to buy a kayak. What kind should I get?

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2


----------



## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Leo said:


> Thats because he just ate some candy


Must have been some sweet Candy


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

Fishin' Soldier said:


> I want to buy a kayak. What kind should I get?
> 
> Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2


Yellow


----------



## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Gonna need a bigger boat


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

I was looking on youtube for videos on how to trim my hair, and how to cut some layers into my hair. 

I normally go in for hair cuts about 2-3 times per year and try to cut my own bangs in between. Eventually they get so uneven, I have to go in for a $5 bang trim.

Now I will be able to manage with probably 1 hair cut per year and no bang trims in the salon.

I would say for anyone with hair that is at least a few inches past your shoulders, or for people with kids who have straight hair, this product works awesome. 

I would recommend going on youtube and searching for "creaclip" and you will find tons of videos showing people using it on their own hair.


----------



## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

surf_ox said:


> Yellow


I already have a yellow one.

Sent from my MB886 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. 


Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

What day is it today? Come on you guys know.


----------



## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

HUMP Day.....What?What?


----------



## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

I need a 26" Mens cruiser style bicycle for my boy up at college. Nothing fancy. Will buy or trade for spot in the Blackajck this Fall after college football season. Multiple posts in the classifieds. PM if you can help me out. Thanks!


----------



## capfab (May 21, 2010)

surf_ox said:


> When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep.
> 
> Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.


:bounce::brew2:


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Why do people chase ambulances?


----------



## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

A horse is faster than a camel.


----------



## Bull Red (Mar 17, 2010)

carryyourbooks said:


> Eventually I have to go in for a $5 bang trim.


I hope you wore protection for that $5 bang trim. :slimer:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes it rains in the summer. 
Yesterday the moon was full.
My cousin ate at Wendy's and the food didn't look like the picture.
How now brown cow?
HEB has beerz on sale.
I cooked prime ribeyes & lobster tails for MNF.
I drive a F150 with black tires.
What months are okay for eating raw oysters?
What's the best reel?


----------



## cloudfishing (May 8, 2005)

I was at FTU and my car did not get broken into. They have YETIS


----------



## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

NEVER EVER eat mango habanero chicken wings the evening before going fishing! :headknock


----------



## Porky (Nov 1, 2006)

HEB has 6pak tallboys of Frio for 3.99 !


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department generally uses water


----------



## DPFISHERMAN (Jun 6, 2011)

just sayn'


----------



## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

BEEF...its whats for dinner, I have to get gas on my way home.


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

chrigging said:


> BEEF...its whats for dinner, it gives me gas on my way home.


fify

If all women decided to free themselves of the bondage of shaving, waxing and tweezing, sign me up. But until that happens..which will be never...it looks gross and ugly and it's culturally unacceptable.

Should anchor babies be allowed to sponsor their parents & other relatives to come here?

When did the word Mexican, become a racial slur?
Why am I getting called a racist, for saying someone from Mexico here illegally is a Mexican?

Is this what is has come to in the world of political correctness?


----------



## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

carryyourbooks said:


> fify
> 
> If all women decided to free themselves of the bondage of shaving, waxing and tweezing, sign me up. But until that happens..which will be never...it looks gross and ugly and it's culturally unacceptable.
> 
> ...


****** is racist. Mexican is not.

Sent from my MB886 using Tapatalk 2


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

How bout some ranch style beans with them fajitas


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

DCAVA said:


> How bout some ranch style beans with them fajitas


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..........and lemons!


----------



## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

DCAVA said:


> How bout some ranch style beans with them fajitas


Don't light your farts, you could scorch your arse hair. Just Sayin.


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Yeowwww!!


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

only scorch it once...then light away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

Why are they called cheater glasses if they can't even help me pass my Calculus test?!?


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

A husband and wife came for counselling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I go fishing.

I've been perusing the threads in this forum for a while now, and over the years have contributed to... probably too many elsewhere, but there's a question that is seldom asked, let alone answered: W*hat would have to happen before you wouldn't *want* to survive?*

The most common attitude, in my experience, is something like: 'they'd' better not come on my property unless they're bulletproof (or like that), and charity/hospitality is looked upon with derision because most people believe that we'll have to live in a Rambo-style world. Maybe be will.

At present, I live on top (well, _almost_ at the top) of a mountain in an extremely remote mountain region. We have no police here, no doctors (excepting myself), dentists, stores (of any kind), or anything else that most people equate with civilization. We do have a 'pony express' mail delivery system that brings mail twice a week to a trailer located approximately a half-hour's drive from the settlement (population 42) in which I live. Most people call it a ghost town, and I suppose it is, considering that we're spread about a bit.







I imagine the mail delivery would cease abruptly at the first sign of trouble. We've gone without mail for weeks before when forest fires, floods, avalanches, and simply inclement weather made delivery difficult or impossible. I didn't hear one person complain.

What we _do_ have here is an abundance of fish and wildlife, fresh water, forested area, edible and medicinal plants, syrup-producing trees and so on, so pretty much what one would expect in a wilderness area.

We have dial-up Internet service - when the phones are working, LOL (no cell service up here), and satellite service can be accessed by those who have the means to acquire it. (Not too many. I'm on dial-up, BTW.) If the grid goes down, or there's an EMP burst, well... the Internet will be history.

Most people, if not all people here have several rifles, chainsaws, fishing equipment, at least a canoe, and a variety of useful toys both powered (as in they need gas to run) and non powered. We have a decent compliment of peaceful old hippies who brew their own white lightening (AKA moonshine), a variety of wines, and who also grow (as well as root veggies) an impressive amount of marijuana.

Most up here are handymen, even if they're disabled - which many are in one way or another - and all know how to build shelters and fires, and how to hunt, fish, and 'fix things.' I don't remember one unpleasant domestic imbroglio taking place in the twenty years I've lived here.

We're also three driving hours away from the nearest small town. Walking here (from town, which is also 50 miles away from the next small town - in any direction) and arriving alive would be chancy - at best - especially if the ambitious pedestrian was hungry, unarmed, and clueless.

Sounds idyllic, doesn't it? Well, it is. It's peaceful, breathtakingly beautiful, and... did I mention peaceful?

Here's the thing though - *I don't know *anyone* up here who wants to survive losing their kids* (most of whom live in various cities because there's no work here). *Several rely on medicine,* which they usually get by mail, and some will not survive without it - and wouldn't care to try, so they say.

That's just up here.

While in the missionary field,* I've talked to people all over the world,* and not many want to 'bother' living if they lose their children and other loved ones due to war, pandemic, starvation, disease... you name it - the family is everything to most people everywhere on Earth.

Not many seem overly concerned with wealth, possessions, and 'stuff' like that, but after family, most people care about medical care (even just needed meds), and *not having to live in fear* - a biggie. Torture, rape, starvation, and dog-eat-dog daily living conditions... not many I've talked to even _want_ to survive in a 'world' like that.

Fear and panic kill more people than all other diseases combined - a global pandemic notwithstanding.

What about you? What would it take for you to prefer to move on to the great hereafter? What kind of cataclysm would it take to make you want to bow out?


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Your babbling.................


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

Which mountain do you live on???


----------



## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

surf_ox said:


> Which mountain do you live on???


Brokeback???:an6:
Hey wait a minute. There ain't no mountains in Katy.


----------



## ClearLakeClayt (Aug 2, 2011)

Yeah, I don't know Carry, can I call you that? Doesn't sound like you...


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

DCAVA said:


> Your babbling.................





surf_ox said:


> Which mountain do you live on???


you actually read all of that?:biggrin:


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

carryyourbooks said:


> you actually read all of that?:biggrin:


 HECK NO....IT MADE ME THINK OF THE TOWER OF BABBLE!!!:mpd:


----------



## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Blk Jck 224 said:


> NEVER EVER eat mango habanero chicken wings the evening before going fishing! :headknock


 Flaming flotsam, Batman!


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

what we have here is failure to communicate.


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

If you had a perfect sphere that was hollow, and it had mirror-like chrome on the whole inside surface, and you could put a light source in there for just a second and then turn it off...would the light keep reflecting back and forth inside the sphere forever????? Things that keep me up at night...oh yeah, and Wal-Greens has Blue Bell on sale for $2.50 a half gallon


----------



## BadBob (Dec 16, 2010)

O'Fish'All Business said:


> If you had a perfect sphere that was hollow, and it had mirror-like chrome on the whole inside surface, and you could put a light source in there for just a second and then turn it off...would the light keep reflecting back and forth inside the sphere forever????? Things that keep me up at night...oh yeah, and Wal-Greens has Blue Bell on sale for $2.50 a half gallon


yes but you couldn't see it :headknock


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

How to confuse the heck out of someone.....(aggies especially)..put em' in a round room and tell em' to pizz in a corner.


----------



## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

SCUTTLE, scuttle, little roachâ€” 
How you run when I approach: 
Up above the pantry shelf, 
Hastening to secret yourself.

Most adventurous of vermin, 
How I wish I could determine 
How you spend your hours of ease, 
Perhaps reclining on the cheese.

Cook has gone, and all is darkâ€” 
Then the kitchen is your park: 
In the garbage heap that she leaves 
Do you browse among the tea leaves?

How delightful to suspect 
All the places you have trekked: 
Does your long antenna whisk its 
Gentle tip across the biscuits?

Do you linger, little soul, 
Drowsing in our sugar bowl? 
Or, abandonment most utter, 
Shake a shimmy on the butter?

Do you chant your simple tunes 
Swimming in the baby's prunes? 
Then, when dawn comes, do you slink 
Homeward to the kitchen sink?

Timid roach, why be so shy? 
We are brothers, thou and I. 
In the midnight, like yourself, 
I explore the pantry shelf! 


Christopher Morley


----------



## bubbas kenner (Sep 4, 2010)

I go frog gigging with a light on my head I sleep in a log and eat crawdads.


----------



## Bregier79 (Jun 6, 2012)

A climbing tortoise.










And he always ends up like this.....


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Word of the day

*synecdoche*

synÂ·ecÂ·doÂ·che noun \sÉ™-Ëˆnek-dÉ™-(ËŒ)kÄ"\

Definition of SYNECDOCHE

: a figure of speech by which a part is put for the whole (as fifty sail for fifty ships), the whole for a part (as society for high society), the species for the genus (as cutthroat for assassin), the genus for the species (as a creature for a man), or the name of the material for the thing made (as boards for stage)
â€" synÂ·ecÂ·dochÂ·ic adjective
â€" synÂ·ecÂ·dochÂ·iÂ·cal adjective
â€" synÂ·ecÂ·dochÂ·iÂ·calÂ·ly adverb
Origin of SYNECDOCHE

Latin, from Greek synekdochÄ", from syn- + ekdochÄ" sense, interpretation, from ekdechesthai to receive, understand, from ex from + dechesthai to receive; akin to Greek dokein to seem good â€" more at ex-, decent
First Known Use: 15th century


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

carryyourbooks said:


> you actually read all of that?:biggrin:


On the bus ride home from downtown to cypress. 
I read a lot hahahahahah


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

Ok the sphere thing has me thinking.

If the light was continuously bouncing around would it suddenly come out if you opened a sliding panel on the side. Sort of like burst of light?


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Why is there so much red tape in the world...


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

DCAVA said:


> Why is there so much red tape in the world...


Maybe because red tape generates jobs and some among us want to create jobs for jobs sake.


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

surf_ox said:


> Ok the sphere thing has me thinking.
> 
> If the light was continuously bouncing around would it suddenly come out if you opened a sliding panel on the side. Sort of like burst of light?


That's what I'm thinking! And would the constant reflection on all sides of the sphere intensify the light until it became super heated and eventually led to a supernova that would create a red giant sun, and then eventually a white dwarf sun that exploded into a mass of hot gas creating anti-matter and a huge black hole that destroys the universe?!?!?

I'm so scared now.

Oh- and if a flounder is called a flattie, is a pufferfish called a roundie?
And if you use Gulp! to catch flatties would you use a !pluG to catch roundies???


----------



## ChasingReds (Jul 31, 2009)

Oh- and if a flounder is called a flattie, is a pufferfish called a roundie?
And if you use Gulp! to catch flatties would you use a !pluG to catch roundies???[/QUOTE]

what color !pluG?


----------



## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

Man with itchy arse has stinky fingers.


----------



## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

Nobody can breathe through their nose if they stick their tongue out.


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

How is it that a frogs arse is watertight


----------



## Mccoyboys (Sep 6, 2012)

I bet you tried it.


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

chrigging said:


> Nobody can breathe through their nose if they stick their tongue out.


I'll wager a bunch of you out there tried it by now,......


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

surf_ox said:


> I'll wager a bunch of you out there tried it by now,......


i discovered a new talent i didn't know i had. thanks for spoiling my success!:hairout:


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

carryyourbooks said:


> i discovered a new talent i didn't know i had. thanks for spoiling my success!:hairout:


Just dont breathe out to hard........:rotfl:


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

surf_ox said:


> Just dont breathe out to hard........:rotfl:


like this?


----------



## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

It is not PC to spank your child but is it ok to spank your monkey?


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

I Fall In said:


> It is not PC to spank your child but is it ok to spank your monkey?


 JUST BE CAREFUL WITH HARRY PALMS!!:rotfl:


----------



## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.


----------



## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

Has anyone seen Junior's grave?


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Who shot JR???


----------



## regulator (May 21, 2004)

fooohundrid


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

Are extraterrestrials real?


----------



## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

I'm meeting Capt.Tony in the Home Depot parking lot @ 8P to score 100 speed clips!


----------



## Fordzilla06 (Oct 14, 2010)

I can't believe this is still going! Best random post ever!


----------



## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

carryyourbooks said:


> Are extraterrestrials real?


I don't know how to tell the world that I have seen a space craft, I was visited by a floating little green being. I've always wanted to be visited, or at best see something outside of my understanding, but when I actually saw something outside if my own understanding, I must admit I was a little scared. I didn't understand.


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

carryyourbooks said:


> I don't know how to tell the world that I have seen a space craft, I was visited by a floating little green being. I've always wanted to be visited, or at best see something outside of my understanding, but when I actually saw something outside if my own understanding, I must admit I was a little scared. I didn't understand.


 Maybe it was an out of body experience


----------



## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Fordzilla06 said:


> I can't believe this is still going! Best random post ever!


 I ate at Sonic in Brazoria for lunch today. It sucked, they got everything wrong. 
And the carhop had a mustache. Poor girl.


----------



## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

Blk Jck 224 said:


> I'm meeting Capt.Tony in the Home Depot parking lot @ 8P to score 100 speed clips!


Got two bonus clips...PM if you need his # to buy in bulk. $1 each is far better than $6 for 4 clips that FTU _used_ to sell.


----------



## regulator (May 21, 2004)

Fordzilla06 said:


> I can't believe this is still going! Best random post ever!


what do you mean random... dont understand what your fishing with in the deer stand..


----------



## spurgersalty (Jun 29, 2010)

Eggs and lettuce all the way babeeeeeee!
Â©


----------



## spuds (Jan 2, 2005)

My Karma ran over my Dogma and it was good. :fireworks


----------



## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Do FlatsCats run skinny? Do flat dogs get skinnier?


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Why do you hear the sound of the ocean in a conch shell?


----------



## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

I lost my rabbits foot. I'm gonna go take a shower now.


----------



## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

DCAVA said:


> Why do you hear the sound of the ocean in a conch shell?


 We only listen to shotgun shells, Conches have been known to lie.


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

DCAVA said:


> Why do you hear the sound of the ocean in a conch shell?


Why is it that when you hold a girl that's wearing a conch shell bikini up to your ear do you hear her scream instead of hearing the ocean?


----------



## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

O'Fish'All Business said:


> Why is it that when you hold a girl that's wearing a conch shell bikini up to your ear do you hear her scream instead of hearing the ocean?


 Because you're standing on her toes...


----------



## Melon (Jun 1, 2004)

I dreamed my E-tough never blewofff three powerpacks....


----------



## Melon (Jun 1, 2004)

And then I woke up and open a Chinese fortune cookie that said I was screwed your warranty was up!


----------



## Melon (Jun 1, 2004)

So I cried and sucked it up like a man. Then the evil elf told me they only cost 1000.00 or so..... We replace them all the time......So he said. And the I woke up again!


----------



## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

^ e-tough? Like internet tough guy?


----------



## Melon (Jun 1, 2004)

Who sales Wizzards I'm interested! lol


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

sweenyite said:


> We only listen to shotgun shells, Conches have been known to lie.


 I like to smell the gunpowder of a spent shotgun shell as soon as it ejects, I wonder if anyone else does that.


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)




----------



## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

Melon said:


> Who sales Wizzards I'm interested! lol


I have two that I'll give you a good deal on. They only work when you truly believe in them though. I still have to go to academy though to buy some more fishing stuff.


----------



## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

We don' wan' hear 'bout yer whizzer!


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

sweenyite said:


> We don' wan' hear 'bout yer whizzer!


I'm a whizzer!


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

'Nuff said.


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

How bout the wizard of oz?


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Dem wizards are too funky lookin!


----------



## Melon (Jun 1, 2004)

Well the whizzer stopped again. Then the evil elf told me to drain my gastric tank if I wasn't gonna use it(wizzard) within two weeks! 

I woke up crying again. Bad dreams I tell ya. Had to drain 15 gallons of that cocktail mix again. I fed it to the Toyoto demon that sucked it up like candy syrup. Ran great!


----------



## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

DCAVA said:


> How bout the wizard of oz?


As long as you have some courage to follow the yellow brick road.


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

DCAVA said:


> How bout the wizard of oz?


That's not relevant. But what IS relevant is how this wizard named Chickenboy can make lures that caught me this official world record Scandinavian oyster weighing in at 12.87 pounds!!! I thought I was gonna lose that feisty, ferocious beast that y'all call dinner, and none of my friends would believe me! But I got him on the pier for a quick selfie and beautiful release! What a catch of a lifetime!!!


----------



## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

Did you use a net?


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

KeeperTX said:


> Did you use a net?


Actually, no! He used his magical sprite/oyster hybrid powers to fly himself right onto the pier!


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

O'Fish'All Business said:


> That's not relevant. But what IS relevant is how this wizard named Chickenboy can make lures that caught me this official world record Scandinavian oyster weighing in at 12.87 pounds!!! I thought I was gonna lose that feisty, ferocious beast that y'all call dinner, and none of my friends would believe me! But I got him on the pier for a quick selfie and beautiful release! What a catch of a lifetime!!!


 So chickenboy is the wizard??


----------



## Melon (Jun 1, 2004)

DCAVA said:


> So chickenboy is the wizard??


Lawdy no! Only a elf knows the true answer!


----------



## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

We're all wizards on the inside...you just have to believe in Red Bull! Also, I think I have the hots for Chickengirl- true story.


----------



## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

I think the strains of marijuana on that thread are getting more potent....


----------



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Academy in Sugar Land had a lot of 9mm ammo stacked up at customer service.


----------



## willygee (Jun 21, 2013)

O'Fish'All Business said:


> That's not relevant. But what IS relevant is how this wizard named Chickenboy can make lures that caught me this official world record Scandinavian oyster weighing in at 12.87 pounds!!! I thought I was gonna lose that feisty, ferocious beast that y'all call dinner, and none of my friends would believe me! But I got him on the pier for a quick selfie and beautiful release! What a catch of a lifetime!!!


looks like a turd - yeah cmon u all were thinkin the same thing...


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## Melon (Jun 1, 2004)

James Cooney hot doggers will make you hallucinate. Always sleep with one eye open. Especially after eating five.


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## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

why do we say bueanos dias? instead of buen dia???


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Who farted?


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## Dick Hanks (Aug 16, 2007)

fishingcacher said:


> Academy in Sugar Land had a lot of 9mm ammo stacked up at customer service.


Blk Jck 224 = " I'm meeting Capt. Tony in the Home Depot parking lot at 8 PM to score 100 speed clips!

Is there a big shoot-out coming up that I haven't heard about? ? ?

Will it be on TV?


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

KeeperTX said:


> Did you use a net?


I would have used cocktail sauce

Hey that reminds me September has an R in it....OYSTER TIME!!!!!


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

Melon said:


> Lawdy no! Only a elf knows the true answer!


An elf or a midget?


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

O'Fish'All Business said:


> We're all wizards on the inside...you just have to believe in Red Bull! Also, I think I have the hots for Chickengirl- true story.


Oh no!!!!....................lol
Them are fightin words. You're gonna ruffle some feathers there, lol.


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

carryyourbooks said:


> why do we say bueanos dias? instead of buen dia???


Say whatever you want! 
Adios!
Amigo!


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

BTW, why is there no gravity in outer space?


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## Dick Hanks (Aug 16, 2007)

KeeperTX said:


> BTW, why is there no gravity in outer space?


Cause nobody has figured out which way is down.


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## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

KeeperTX said:


> BTW, why is there no gravy in outer space?


Fify


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

Dick Hanks said:


> Cause nobody has figured out which way is down.


I guess nobody has had to go downtown while in outer space.


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## roundman (May 21, 2004)




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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

carryyourbooks said:


> Fify


Mmmmmmm, chicken fried steak & mashed potatoes.


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## O'Fish'All Business (Aug 25, 2012)

carryyourbooks said:


> Fify


Like Wiggy Feifs?


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## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

I like cilantro on my taco.


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

Why do we all have to have names? Can't we just say "Hey You!"


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

KeeperTX said:


> Why do we all have to have names? Can't we just say "Hey You!"


better than sniffin' butz like dogs do.


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Where's waldo?


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

Anyone else disturbed at the "never brush my teeth before bed" responses that are occuring on the poll??

Does Waldo have a last name?


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

Free anus cancer screenings today only!


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)




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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

Just ate a double meat whataburger with onion rings & fries, again. Why do farts have to smell sooooooo bad?


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Does the coyote ever catch the roadrunner?


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

Does peanut butter really have butter in it?


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## MarkU (Jun 3, 2013)

Going to hit Academy with the wife tomorrow. She won't let me buy any Blue Bell. I like Sweet Corn.


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## HoustonKid (Dec 29, 2005)

Buying super combo license at Academy. No butter or ice cream. Ducks fly or swim. What's that smell????


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## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

Shrimp po-boy today for lunch,,it was ok, now I am ready for my nap.


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

I'm still waiting for Chickenboy's next Sasquatch sighting.


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

If you don't shed a tear after watching this video I can only conclude that you have no heart.


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Blk Jck 224 said:


> I'm still waiting for Chickenboy's next Sasquatch sighting.


 yetis and sasquatches must be couzins!!


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

In my fantasy I see a just world,
Where everyone lives in peace and honesty.
I dream of souls that are always free
Like the clouds that float
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.
In my fantasy I see a bright world
Where each night there is less darkness.
I dream of spirits that are always free,
Like the clouds that float
In my fantasy exists a warm wind,
That blows into the city, like a friend.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like the clouds that float
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Deeep


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

DCAVA said:


> Deeep


Like the clouds that float???


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## Fishin' Soldier (Dec 25, 2007)

DCAVA said:


> yetis and sasquatches must be couzins!!


The yeti is white, the sasquatch is obviously hispanic.


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

Fishin' Soldier said:


> The yeti is white, the sasquatch is obviously hispanic.


What if a yeti and Sasquatch get together?


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

KeeperTX said:


> What if a yeti and Sasquatch get together?


You'd get one tough cooler that is rarely seen.


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

KeeperTX said:


> What if a yeti and Sasquatch get together?


probly a yetiquatch!!


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

How about a yeti full of burritos?


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

KeeperTX said:


> How about a yeti full of burritos?


Prime to get stolen.


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

fishingcacher said:


> In my fantasy I see a just world,
> Where everyone lives in peace and honesty.
> I dream of souls that are always free
> Like the clouds that float
> ...


Imagine. Hey I should write a song. Nah it'll never sell.hwell:


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

fishingcacher said:


> In my fantasy I see a just world,
> Where everyone lives in peace and honesty.
> I dream of souls that are always free
> Like the clouds that float
> ...


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

*tongue twister*

she sells sea shells by the seashore............say this quickly seven times


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

DCAVA said:


> she sells sea shells by the seashore............say this quickly seven times


Dad Gum!!!!!!!!!!!


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## reeltimer (Feb 5, 2010)

Do y'all have full service? 

sent from my taxpayer-funded sail phone and yes the government is tapped into my talk


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## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

.


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

KeeperTX said:


> How about a yeti full of burritos?


 Bad combination..................halacious gas!!!


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## HoustonKid (Dec 29, 2005)

Stand in one line pay.
Stand in second line, get license.

ME NO LIKELY!!!!

Salad for dinner. Still hungry.

Fish biting in Matagorda?????


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## Alexnillo (Jan 10, 2008)

I fixed my trailer, replaced the hub assembly. Oh, and my forehead seems to be getting bigger.


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

Dog fittna get a bath! hwell:


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

whats up... yeti coolers are the bomb..


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## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

Sometimes, I feel bad after eating too much cheese....


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## chrigging (Aug 10, 2012)

It is better to let it rip and bear the shame than to hold it in and bear the pain!


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

I hope tonights title fight in boxing isn't rigged!!!:cheers:


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

If you use both hands does that make you bi-sexual?


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## surf_ox (Jul 8, 2008)

DCAVA said:


> she sells sea shells by the seashore............say this quickly seven times


This quickly seven times.

How'd I do???


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

How bout some apple pie?


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## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

DCAVA said:


> How bout some apple pie?


I'll take some with some vanilla blue bell!


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Looked at a house on the water today. Kind of pricey but you can't take it with you. Might have to pull the trigger on this one.


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Our A/C died. New one should be installed Tuesday. Living in the camper until then. I like ice cream. I made a pot of chicken and sausage gumbo for lunch. My son is mowing the lawn today. Wife and MIL went to a movie. I'm on dad duty. Did that boy just hit something with the mower? Again?


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

sweenyite said:


> Our A/C died. New one should be installed Tuesday. Living in the camper until then. I like ice cream. I made a pot of chicken and sausage gumbo for lunch. My son is mowing the lawn today. Wife and MIL went to a movie. I'm on dad duty. Did that boy just hit something with the mower? Again?[/QUOTE]
> 
> Yes he did. Tree root. Didn't see it he says... :headknock


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

sweenyite said:


> sweenyite said:
> 
> 
> > Our A/C died. New one should be installed Tuesday. Living in the camper until then. I like ice cream. I made a pot of chicken and sausage gumbo for lunch. My son is mowing the lawn today. Wife and MIL went to a movie. I'm on dad duty. Did that boy just hit something with the mower? Again?[/QUOTE]
> ...


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Watching the A&M Bama game drinking Mango Lemonade. Might be good fishing next week.


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

fishingcacher said:


> sweenyite said:
> 
> 
> > Looks like a de-thatching blade now.
> ...


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Tropical storms stink!


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

The Socratic Method


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

A great one:


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## Baffin Bay (Jul 26, 2011)

This thread might break the state record for number of posts. Come on Fightn Tx Aggies, I hope the rain stops so I can get to the dove lease, Oh I'm suppose to pick up my wife..............


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## reeltimer (Feb 5, 2010)

Don't mettle my h 2 O up.

sent from my taxpayer-funded sail phone and yes the government is tapped into my talk


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

I give you Gabriel's Oboe.


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

And bingo was his namoooo...


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## Alexnillo (Jan 10, 2008)

I went to academy today. Didn't buy anything, just kicking tires.


Sent from my bathroom.


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