# One seriously F$$!ed up world this is!



## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

So, here I sit after a 7 hour drive, in Amarillo airport waiting on a plane to Houston. We could not get a flight out of Colorado because of Spring break so we had to drive to Amarillo to catch the closest flight.

We found out about 4:30pm or so yesterday that our oldest daughter is dead.

Not sure we have all the details yet, but apparently she was riding a horse and he got a little stupid and she was bucked off and into a tree. Initially, it was thought she had hurt her back and she was taken to the hospital by ambulance. As we understand it, the hospital took her in immediately and found that she had broken several ribs, and as a result, both her lungs were punctured as well as her heart.... They were unable to repair the damage and she died.

35 years old, 2 baby girls.... *** man!?

And I will ask now, I really don't want to see anyone's bible verses as a response... As a matter of fact, the reason I think I am typing this is for a distraction, to try and live in the dream of all of this and not face the reality....Because surely, this cant be real, right!?

You know whats really weird?? At the time of this posting, I have yet to shed hardly a tear, while my wife has completely lost it...Maybe its because I HAVE to hold it together?? Who cares what the reason is I guess... Not much else really matters at this moment... 

So, I guess I will go back to occupying my time looking at great fish and killer hunts, because I don't think I am quite ready to face this $hit yet!!

So, do me a favor... Get up from your computer, put down your phone and go hug your kids, your husband, your wife and embrace them with all you have, because you know what??? Right now, I cant even remember when I last hugged our little girl...And now, I will never be able to hug her again....

Cruel world I tell ya....A really cruel world.....


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

May you rest in peace.... I hope that its true that we will see each other again...


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## SD Hawkins (Jan 2, 2008)

Bless you man I will go hug mine before I leave to fish this morning, she was asking me last night if you die does your body go to heaven. My answer to my 6 yr old was "if you believe in god the body stays here but the spirit goes to heaven" And yesterday was 5th weekend in a row I got to see my momma, she needed some help last minute Friday and I was there at 0900 yesterday morning. Hope gods not trying to send me a message.

I would be worried what the heck to tell those little girls, this is terrible


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## banpouchi (Feb 21, 2011)

So SORRY for your loss. Hang in there man, everyone grieves in a different way. Don't worry if you shed a tear or whatever. Be there for your self and family.

Great advice, hug your loved one today!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## bill (May 21, 2004)

I am very sorry to hear this, wish I had some words to share but I don't. Just know we care.


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## Chase4556 (Aug 26, 2008)

Very sorry for your loss.


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## Castaway2 (Aug 8, 2013)

No words... I'm crying for ya!! Hugging girls right now!!! 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## bubbas kenner (Sep 4, 2010)

Dear God bring this family peace and comfort in this time of sorrow.
So sorry to here this it breaks my heart.


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## justjohn (May 21, 2004)

So sorry for your loss


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## 2wahoo (May 21, 2004)

Prayers for your family


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## 18 Hewes (Oct 31, 2006)

Sorry for your loss. Prayers for your family


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## Dick Hanks (Aug 16, 2007)

Nothing is more painful than losing one of your children. We know.

My heart go out to you. I'm shedding some tears for Ya.


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## OnedayScratch (May 23, 2012)

I'm so sorry man. Sent up for you andyour family.


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## POC Fishin' Gal (Nov 20, 2009)

I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. Prayers for all concerned. I have no other words, but I do grieve for all of you.


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## Stumpgrinder1 (Jul 18, 2016)

Prayers lifted


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## patwilson (Jan 13, 2006)

Prayers sent. Stay strong...


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## 98aggie77566 (Jul 7, 2009)

Bzrk180 - I'm at a loss for words....nothing I can say seems appropriate.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Man....when I clicked on this thread, I was expecting to read about something political, potlickers, work related, or something that we all complain about.

Never expected to read something as tragic as this.

Really makes you stop and think about what is important.


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## BretE (Jan 24, 2008)

My sincerest condolences. Nothing I can say right now other than hang in there. You're gonna need to hold it together for the rest of the family....


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## bigbarr (Mar 9, 2010)

Very sorry for your family loss,, what a tragedy


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## TXanalogkd (Oct 25, 2014)

Praying for you and your family. No words will heal what you are feeling right now. Keep your faith strong and be there for your wife and the little ones.


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## iridered2003 (Dec 12, 2005)

so sorry for your loss sir. hang in there, your wife needs you now more then ever. 
GODSPEED to your lil girl


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## SwampRat (Jul 30, 2004)

As a Dad I offer my deepest sympathies and prayers, I can't imagine the roller coaster of emotions you're going though.


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## Hullahopper (May 24, 2004)

My sincerest condolences. Praying that you can stay strong for your family.


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## Calmday (Jul 7, 2005)

Man Iâ€™m very sorry to hear this. I canâ€™t imagine how hard this is for yâ€™all


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## jackcu (Dec 28, 2004)

I am so sorry for your loss. Your time for grieving will come. I will be praying for you and your family.


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

That is truly heartbreaking. I pray for peace and comfort in the coming weeks for you and yours. I lost a daughter too, while I was deployed. You knew your daughter, mine was a newborn. I know how tough it was for me, but how much tougher when you actually KNEW her, raised her, have memories with her. My heart aches for you brother.


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## Shallow_Minded (Sep 21, 2004)

I'm so sorry for your loss. May she R.I.P.


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## had2reg (Aug 25, 2005)

Sympathy for your tragic loss. Posts like these always bring tears to my eyes.
Prayers for God's strength and healing to you and your family.


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## RB II (Feb 26, 2009)

So sorry for your loss. My prayers for you and your family. I canâ€™t imagine the depth of your pain. May God bring you peace.


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

God Bless you and your family. Praying for you.


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## acoastalbender (Jul 16, 2011)

So sorry for your loss ... the pain will slowly ebb and you have family and friends to help ...

.


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## sharkchum (Feb 10, 2012)

I can't describe how sorry I am for your loss. I understand all to well how cruel the world is, the " Why did this happen to me" feeling, and the need for distraction. I've been through it time and time again. Everyone deals with loss a different way, and I hope you find what way is best for you to cope with this and still remain strong for your family.


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## 348473 (Apr 12, 2017)

I lost a son Max c,. I have an idea what you may be going through, like a bad nightmare that you don't wake up from. Be tough now but there is going to be a time where you need to pass the reigns and grieve yourself. God bless y'all.

Sent from my FRD-L14 using Tapatalk


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## jdipper1 (Jul 18, 2007)

Prayers sent. Keep strong.\

GOD Bless,
John


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## tec (Jul 20, 2007)

Words cannot express condolences adequate for your loss.


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

This kinda hits home with me as my family lost a Nephew due to a horseback riding accident...Watching his parents deal with it was devastating...I don't think that they are even back to baseline to this day...Perhaps like you, I too am all over the map through the stages of grief...I think I might have found acceptance with his death as three people will continue to live through organ donation...I attended a memorial service just yesterday for a friend of mine that I graduated from high school with...I was close to his immediate family growing up...He would have been 52y/o in a couple of weeks...I could still feel him alive through the eyes of his Daughter that I met for the first time...I can't imagine what you and your family are enduring right now...Just know that you aren't alone and that even your cyber friends care about you...Thank you for sharing as this has helped me to process some of my own feelings...I wish you peace to bring comfort in facing the days ahead and loving memories to forever hold in your heart


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## wbay2crowded (Jul 13, 2007)

I'm truly sorry for your loss, Bzrk. Remember the good times.


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## fy0834 (Jan 18, 2011)

I Cannot imagine the loss of a child. May God bring peace and comfort to you and yours in time.

What is her name?


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## jdusek (Apr 7, 2006)

Very sorry for your loss.


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## Tortuga (May 21, 2004)

You know you got all of our sympathies,BZ. We lost our Daughter at about the same age 20 years ago and know the feelings you are going thru.. Best advice I could give is hug that Wife of yours hard.. Girls are not as tough as guys in events like this...

The sorrow will lessen over time...but never seems to go away altogether..

Stay strong , Brother.... That little lady of yours needs you now more than ever...


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## texcajun (Feb 22, 2009)

How utterly heartbreaking. I am so sorry.


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## GregoH (Dec 3, 2017)

Sorry for your loss


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## TIMBOv2 (Mar 18, 2010)

Good lord man. Stay tough and hang in there. So sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby.


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## Neck-deep (Jun 27, 2007)

Im very Sorry for your loss sir. Very sad and not fair. I hugged my loved ones just now.


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

> What is her name?


Janeen "Nene"


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## Archer (Jul 10, 2006)

My deepest condolences, weâ€™ll keep you in our prayers.


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Thank you all!!

As we landed in Houston, I felt a wave of emotion come over me. I guess it became more "real" as the wheels touched down. We are with our middle daughter now and family is on the way. We have had an outpouring of support from family and friends and that is a good feeling.

I am fortunate I guess, that in my life personally AND professionally, I have experienced death in more ways that any 10 people should have to in a lifetime...Horror, tragedy terrible evil....Peace, comfort, love and care as well... Grief, is grief, no matter the circumstance and I am sure I will process through....

But as of right now, I got two middle fingers up to the world and we are not deserving of such heartache... Do good and good comes back?? Well, what the HE77 did we put out to get this?? And what did those little girls that are left behind put out to deserve this? 

Of course, these are rhetorical questions, but what the ever loving F, ya know!!?? 

Thanks for your support, your kind words, your messages and concern... But please, do as I asked in the original post....Make time, hug those you love, tell them how much you love them, and remember, it could all change in an INSTANT and you will never get that chance again!!


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## Its Catchy (Apr 10, 2014)

Prayers up.


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## dan_wrider (Jun 21, 2011)

The worst of nightmares. So sorry for your loss.....


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## DA REEL DADDY (Jun 7, 2005)

Prayer for all. Very sad accident. Continue to stay strong for your wife and the rest of the family. God Bless.


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## driftfish20 (May 13, 2006)

Our deepest condolences to you and your family. Just know you are in our thoughts and prayers!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk


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## Haute Pursuit (Jun 26, 2006)

Man that is brutal Brad. Our thoughts are with you and the family.


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## Trouthunter (Dec 18, 1998)

Well that's pretty horrible and I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers for you, your wife and family.

TH


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## Bocephus (May 30, 2008)

BZ, as much as youâ€™ve done for so many kids itâ€™s hard to imagine this happening to you and your family. I canâ€™t imagine how hard this must be.

Prayer sent up for you & your family. Please let us know if we can help with anything.


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## cman (Apr 17, 2009)

> Thanks for your support, your kind words, your messages and concern... But please, do as I asked in the original post....Make time, hug those you love, tell them how much you love them, and remember, it could all change in an INSTANT and you will never get that chance again!!


Thank you. God bless your family.


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## bassguitarman (Nov 29, 2005)

Very sorry for your unimaginable loss. Thoughts and prayers sent for you and your family. You are correct, we should appreciate every moment with those we love.


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## scwine (Sep 7, 2006)

Very sorry to hear this. 
I really feel for you and your family right now...

I just had another talk to my 13 yr old daughter because of this thread. Every weekend she goes out to my MIL's place and works/rides horses. My MIL was injured last November, broken ribs and ankle. I've had many friends on up to a professional roper that are no longer around due to horses.


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## ralph7 (Apr 28, 2009)

Prayers up for you and yours to get through this ordeal with minimal heartache.


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## 3GENTS_Fishing (May 16, 2014)

No words. Know you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.


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## txbred (May 13, 2013)

We all get our wings. Some come earlier than expected. So sorry for you and your loved ones. I couldn't imagine the loss yall feel right now.


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## Jay-Tex (Aug 19, 2009)

Praying for you and your family brother


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Just spent an hour or so with her girls... My God, this is just way too weird man.... Laying there with her babies in my lap, on the couch, running my fingers through their hair and trying to "stay strong" is not as easy as it might sound... 

Thank you again for all of your caring thoughts and prayers!


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## Spirit (Nov 19, 2008)

I have no idea what to even say. I cannot imagine your shock and your pain. My prayers and condolences are with you and your family. My church also sends their condolences, we had special prayer for your family today at service.


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## mstrelectricman (Jul 10, 2009)

Dam. I feel for you. Never have lost one of my own children but having watched it happen three times in my close family the prospect of it happening keeps me in an almost PTSD mode all the time. I pray every day for the Lord to watch over my babies and all good people around the world.
Two posts above have mentioned horses and the danger. I know that first hand having had to ride them all my young life working cows. We still have some of those but you couldn't pay me enough to ride em anymore. I've spent enough of my money and my insurance companies money repairing injuries to my body caused by them. They ain't nothin but pasture ornaments to us now. We work cows with machines these days. I've always said that with a horse, there's two knuckleheaded brains trying to work together. Lot of times it just goes bad, a 4wheeler has no brain but a malfunction in judgement of the operator produces the same bad result.
Peace be with you brother. What a punch in tha nutz.


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## Squid94 (Nov 15, 2010)

Peace be with you during this difficult time.


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## scwine (Sep 7, 2006)

mstrelectricman said:


> Dam. I feel for you. Never have lost one of my own children but having watched it happen three times in my close family the prospect of it happening keeps me in an almost PTSD mode all the time. I pray every day for the Lord to watch over my babies and all good people around the world.
> Two posts above have mentioned horses and the danger. I know that first hand having had to ride them all my young life working cows. We still have some of those but you couldn't pay me enough to ride em anymore. I've spent enough of my money and my insurance companies money repairing injuries to my body caused by them. They ain't nothin but pasture ornaments to us now. We work cows with machines these days. I've always said that with a horse, there's two knuckleheaded brains trying to work together. Lot of times it just goes bad, a 4wheeler has no brain but a malfunction in judgement of the operator produces the same bad result.
> Peace be with you brother. What a punch in tha nutz.


^ very well said.


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## SaltwaterSlick (Jun 11, 2012)

bzrk180 said:


> Just spent an hour or so with her girls... My God, this is just way too weird man.... Laying there with her babies in my lap, on the couch, running my fingers through their hair and trying to "stay strong" is not as easy as it might sound...
> 
> Thank you again for all of your caring thoughts and prayers!


Sir, you and I do not know each other, but we are members of a club neither of us would ever want to be a part of. I had decided not to post to your thread since you asked for no Bible verses, and prayers and such.. However, the post above made me change my mind...

My wife and I buried our only son back in '13. He was 27 years old. The last act he and I did together was a big old hug and he said, "I love you dad." I told him that I loved him too... He was a strong disciple for spreading the Word of God, and active in our church... He knew the Lord in a mighty way. The night before he died, he prayed over another young man for hours trying to save that young man from evil... The next night, my son took his own life with a gun that I gave him for his 9th. birthday... Moms and dads aren't supposed to bury their kids. That's not how it is supposed to be. Trouble is, there is evil in the world, REAL evil. To this day, we do not know "why" our son chose to do what he did. Were it not for the circumstances of where and how he did it, I'd be looking for his killer, but there's no way he did not do it himself...

Believe me sir, I know how it is to lose a child. There's no worse thing on this planet than to lose one the way my wife and I did! I went through every emotion known to man on earth... I gave my life to Christ nearly 50 years ago, and this shook my faith to its very core! Same for my wife... In my case, during the ordeal, God spoke to me clearly. He spoke as clearly to me as I type these words on the screen. He told me, "If you seek me, you will find me." I sure didn't want to hear that, and I ran from it. To make a very long story short sir, He was right. It took me a while to figure it out, but He was 100% right. When I came to realize just what He was telling me to do, I told Him just a clearly, I would spend the rest of my life seeking Him and have done so since then. I can tell you that God has given me my joy back. Yes, my heart was wounded, broken, and almost destroyed. It has a hole in it today that is a scar. It will never go away, but sir, a scar is a sign that healing has taken place. It won't happen overnight, even soon, but IF you will turn TO God and not AWAY from Him, He is able to give you your joy back too in due time.

Sir, I can tell you, this is NOT of God. He did not do it. There is evil in this world. Bad things happen to good people. God IS able to use it for His good if given a chance. I indeed pray for you. I pray that you and your family will be comforted by God. If your daughter knew the Lord Jesus Christ as her Savior, and you guys do too, you WILL be reunited some day, and when that day comes, THAT DAY will never end. It is an eternal unification.

God bless you sir, you and your whole family and friends. If you ever want to talk to someone who's been there, done that, PM me. I'd consider it an honor.
Charlie


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## chacho1234 (May 4, 2010)

I am verry sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better but I know there is not. Just know that as previous posts mention time is the ultimate healer, and you will never forget but the pain does get better. May your daughter rest in peace. I will be giving my kids a big hug. I am also in Houston we may not know each other but if there is anything I can do I'll be there.


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## salth2o (Sep 21, 2004)

So very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain and void losing a child would leave. It seems there have been some very wise men posting who have experienced this. I pray for your comfort and peace.


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## fishing diablo (Jan 28, 2011)

Sorry for your loss... . I now it wasn't in your plans.. and I fear the plans that I haven't prepared for .... Scares the **** out of me.... .. 

Sent from my SM-G930T using Tapatalk


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## essayons75 (May 15, 2006)

Terribly sorry for your loss Brad.


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## mbj358 (May 13, 2005)

I am so sorry for your loss. My family will keep your family in our thoughts and prayers.
I read your post this morning before going fishing. I made sure to kiss my wife and tell her I loved her before leaving the house. I told my fishing buddies about your loss this morning encouraging them to hug their loved ones every chance thy get.
May God be with you.


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## RockportRobert (Dec 29, 2006)

Words just aren't enough. We are so terribly sorry, and despite the occasional bickering of the2C community you know any of us would do anything to help.


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Her husband has created this....

https://www.gofundme.com/beautiful-janeen-nelson


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## jomo888 (Aug 4, 2005)

*Prayers*

Prayers sent....God bless.


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## DIHLON (Nov 15, 2009)

So sorry for your loss.


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## saltwaterjunky (Aug 17, 2012)

*So sorry!!!!!*

Don`t know ya bud,however no words I can say to make it better or go away except they say time will heal..Now this made me sad as I put off cooking fish today for my kiddo she`s 31 and 16 mo daughter that has yet to call me grampa or pops ain`t got that far yet.But I will hug her alittle tighter next time I see her. Take care,Bill


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## fishin shallow (Jul 31, 2005)

Prayers sent.


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## Zeitgeist (Nov 10, 2011)

Sorry for your loss.


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## CentexPW (Jun 22, 2004)

I have no words other than Sorry for your loss.


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## monkeyman1 (Dec 30, 2007)

At a loss for words. Almost lost my daughter once to an ATV accident. Just feeling some of your pain. What can you do except put your pants on every morning and keep going through life until the pain subsides.


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## MarkU (Jun 3, 2013)

BZ, I am so sorry for your loss. You have a community here for you. If you need something, let us know.


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## Sugar Land YAK (Jun 19, 2004)

Sorry to hear this, prayers for healing for your family.


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

So, from my time in LE, I got to know John Crowder from Crowder Funeral Home and he is helping us through this. Looks like we will be doing the service at the home in Dickinson. John has always been a stand up guy to me. We are blessed to be in his hands.

This morning was pretty bad...We slept for the first time in 2 days and I guess we hoped we would wake up and this be all a bad dream...Apparently it isn't. 

Watching my wife crumble in suffering and almost fits of uncontrollable shaking is just wounding me to my core.... I am not sure if I can go back to a life of working with children...Who in the HE77 am I to judge another parent and try to direct or protect them...$hit, I cant protect my own!

We still have not been able to see our daughter and any strings I THOUGHT I has down her to get into the M E's office were met with refusal, so us knowing she is sitting on a cold slab in some stinking cold room alone in the middle of Texas City is just fuc$in6 killing me... I want to go break into that place just so I can hold her hand, brush her hair, kiss her forehead, hold her one last time. How the frack can guys I bled with deny me that?? HTF can they do that? Some knew my girl!?

I am still not allowing myself to break down and really focus on the pain, the loss, the idea of never hearing her voice again, or watching her walk into a room and grabbing all the attention with her loud and funny personality... I will never see that again.

I watched her kids play and laugh yesterday and it was like a hammer was swinging around the room and would clobber me in my face as they had a familiar giggle, or smile, or hug, or look... 

I see my wife and our two girls bundled up on the couch together to comfort each other and realize this is not complete, its not whole... I took for granted what special moments those were when I use to see them all giggle and play with each other on the couch or on the floor, wrestling and playing... I took that for granted. 

Wanna hear a reall F'd up thing??

On the day of the accident, I heard she was thrown and I actually laughed and said 

"did someone get a video of it?" 

Making a friggin joke about it... 

What kind of sick pig am I?!

Jeezus, this is a cruel **** world man.... A sick **** existence.... I hear one more time that we were created by this "all mighty, loving" being who "cares for us more than anything", to suffer as "his son did"...You people are so twisted in your heads...What "parent" would ever want suffering for his children? 

I believe there is a God, but to think that he sits up there and directs this life, or that he wants us to suffer and and expects praise is NOT a God I ever want to meet...And if I do meet him, I will tell him to his face that he can kiss my hairy white a&$... 

I have limited my venting to this place... I have not shown this to anyone around me, so if this is offensive, well, I don't care...move on to the next thread... To those that understand and have been here, thank you for your care and acknowledgement... 

And to the 2cool family that has offered their support, my gratitude cannot be expressed in this format, but thank you!


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## saltwatersensations (Aug 30, 2004)

Damnit man I am so sorry. Don't make sense. I know how you feel about the tears etc. I am not much for grieving and crying. Maybe I just don't know how to. It takes a lot to get it out of me. But man I think about it all the time. Be strong brother. Again I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Danny Jansen (Sep 15, 2005)

You and your family are in my prayers. God Bless all of you.


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## SaltwaterSlick (Jun 11, 2012)

I am sorry sir, very sorry and my heart aches for you. ...been there, done that. If you do want to talk, I'm here...


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

saltwatersensations said:


> Damnit man I am so sorry. Don't make sense. I know how you feel about the tears etc. I am not much for grieving and crying. Maybe I just don't know how to. It takes a lot to get it out of me. But man I think about it all the time. Be strong brother. Again I am so sorry for your loss.


I don't know man, I generally cry at friggin puppy commercials... I am sure I am internalizing... I am scared what it will be like when the dam breaks!


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## saltwatersensations (Aug 30, 2004)

Don't be so hard on yourself bud. This was not in your control. Nothing you could have done. Freak accident. Focus on your good memories and those grand babies and what a great woman she was. I lost my brother a long time ago. It didn't make sense then and don't now. I think of him all the time. He was 21. Never really lived. I am thankful for the 21 years that we had.



bzrk180 said:


> So, from my time in LE, I got to know John Crowder from Crowder Funeral Home and he is helping us through this. Looks like we will be doing the service at the home in Dickinson. John has always been a stand up guy to me. We are blessed to be in his hands.
> 
> This morning was pretty bad...We slept for the first time in 2 days and I guess we hoped we would wake up and this be all a bad dream...Apparently it isn't.
> 
> ...


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## Tortuga (May 21, 2004)

bzrk180 said:


> I don't know man, I generally cry at friggin puppy commercials... I am sure I am internalizing... I am scared what it will be like when the dam breaks!


Brad...you're describing me 20 years ago.. All we can do as 'men' is pull on our boots in the AM and face it again and again...even down to the God thing... I'm still struggling with that one.. Your job now is that little "for better or worse" lady by your side. It don't get any 'worse' than this...Stuff like this is always harder on them than us...and she may get over it.. Mine never has....but we just make do with what we got left...

Pulling for you, Man....


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## Trouthunter (Dec 18, 1998)

You know Brad when I lost the love of my life in 1977 I thought the world was ending for me and I was angry as you are now and I blamed God.

I asked the Catholic Priest why God took her and he looked at me and said, "A car crossed the center line and hit her head on and she was killed, God didn't make that car do that."

I was mad at myself too because when she was killed I wasn't there for her. She was killed on a Thursday morning and I didn't get into town until Friday so I didn't know until I showed up at her parent's home. I realized too that there wasn't anything that I could have done to save her.

In any case we can't protect our loved ones unless we chain them up and lock them in a room. After a while I realized that people die every minute of every single day and that others were suffering the same as I was and once I did that the anger just left me.

I think it's okay to be angry but it's not okay to blame yourself or anyone else for an accident like this. There wasn't anything that you could have done to stop it.

TH


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## Crowhater (Jul 21, 2014)

What can anyone say, I have two daughters and I would be ****** at the world. Stay strong for the rest of your family and if you need to vent you can call me. sorry for your loss


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## Whitebassfisher (May 4, 2007)

I have said this many times before, but I will repeat anyway.

Remember the good, in a purposeful positive way. 

That may sound hokey, but I promise it will help. It is a conscious decision you can make. The glass is half full.


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## kaptin krunch2 (Jun 20, 2016)

Sorry for your family's loss.


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## fy0834 (Jan 18, 2011)

Prayers out to Janeen and her loved ones.

I lost my college roommate almost ten years ago. This guy was the best man I had ever known ... active Christian, church elder, husband, father, son, friend to All. Could never reconcile why/ how this was allowed to happen.

I have heard all my life, that it is not always revealed what Godâ€™s plan is.

The only thing that ever made any sense about that unexpected death to me...

Was, God really needed that man immediately on that day for a special cause. I still believe he (the deceased) was needed for a higher cause and is serving the Lord In a heavenly place. 

I believe your Janeen was called as well, and she is at peace and serving a higher cause. I believe she would want you and yours to be comfortable in her absence knowing she is in a better place.
I believe, She would want your pain of her loss to be comforted by by her peace elsewhere.
So sorry for your loss.


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## capt. david (Dec 29, 2004)

My condolences


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## atcfisherman (Oct 5, 2006)

So sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine. Prayer for comfort and peace!


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## Wedge (Apr 29, 2005)

*I did it....*

Per your request.....I refreshed my love for my children this morning absolutely in favor of your request. Stay strong friend. Troy


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## floppodog (Dec 19, 2012)

God bless you


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## agonzales1981 (Jun 12, 2008)

I can't imagine the pain that you're going through or that's yet to come. Hang in there, will pray for you and your family.


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## 2catsfishin (Jun 27, 2010)

I feel your pain! after 2017 that's a year I will never forget. Hold on brother sorry for your lost. Prayers sent.


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## Stuart (May 21, 2004)

Prayers sent. And I don't believe God sits up there and "directs this life". Quite the opposite, I think he allows us to choose what we do, do the things that give us pleasure etc.... I know that may not be a help right now, but throwing that out there.


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## Jamaica Cove (Apr 2, 2008)

We are all praying for you and your family. Things happen beyond anyone's control-this tragedy was not anyone's fault and you cannot blame yourself. Love her children, your family and your memories.


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## LaddH (Sep 29, 2011)

Praying for you and your family. This is heart breaking to hear.


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## Bull Minnow (May 28, 2004)

WOW. I am so sorry for your loss. I will promise to hug my boys tonight. Praying for you man.


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## TxDvr (Aug 18, 2012)

My deepest condolences. I lost my youngest as an infant, I canâ€™t imagine losing one of my grown kids. 

I understand your anger. If this is the place you go to and vent, use it. The anguish has to be overwhelming. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Try not to beat yourself up, it was out of your hands. 

Again, so sorry for you and your familyâ€™s loss.


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## tennisplayer2 (Feb 6, 2008)

Prayers sent.


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

Gob Bless my Friend, I just dont have words to describe the emotions.... praying for the entire family

going to put this up here again for ya.

https://www.gofundme.com/beautiful-janeen-nelson


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Today I picked out the urns, flowers and other incidentals one does with these types of things. We still have not been able to see her and think maybe tomorrow we will be bale to... Struggling to work with her husband as he is definitely "difficult" for me to be around and with...Lots of bad blood there. Man, what a completely surreal experience... 

I will say, John Crowder with Crowder Funeral home has been just amazing with me. I have everyone tip-toeing around me, worried to say the wrong thing or not say the right thing....Sadness, hurt, pity... I understand the reasons for this, I mean how does one talk to and be with people who just lost a child? But John, he has been up front, direct and to the point with me. He has not sugar coated anything and I am sure this approach wouldn't work for some people, but for me, it is refreshing! Lets get to the point and get through the point.... Its makes things so less complicated.

So, please, if and when you need to use a funeral home, go to Crowder... They are just great!

Family is rolling in...Donnas family from Tenn showed up and my family from Colorado and Florida will be here soon. The outpouring of support from people close and people we haven't talked to in decades has been just overwhelming....I have had a hard time keeping my battery charged on my phone from managing people and things... I am not letting Donna or my other girls get close to any of this preparations stuff and am managing all the calls to my wife so she doesn't have to tell the story. Her suffering is so terribly great right now...I want her away from anything around our daughters body, the preparations of her body, hair, make up, eye lashes, nails, urns....etc....I want her to focus on her children and grandchildren and fall into their love and care.... But I am sure, my time is a coming!

I was able to run away for a bit today. Myself and a buddy went off and had a double Johnny Black, some oysters and some fried shrimp at the Top Water Grill (man, I sure miss the seafood here) and lifted a glass to Janeen. This buddy was her BF for about 10 years so we suffer together with the loss. 

We left there and drove to Galveston and I was able to get my feet in the water...That, for me, is so very healing! Took a trip back and saw some old friends in my old district in San Leon and was able to just "unplug" from it all for a short time.... I really needed that!

Tomorrow should be the day that we get to see Janeen for the first time since her accident... I think this is going to be very tough for us... Seeing her laid out, lifeless, in a wood box is not an image I am looking forward to. I am sure it will help to move the "process" along for us....But damnitt!!

Thanks again for all of your support. Her service will be at Crowders in Dickinson on Friday from 5pm to 7pm.... Her husband does not want a service, speaking or anything that is formal for a funeral...Just an opportunity to have some closure for family and friends. 

What the world will look like after that is a mystery.....


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## Haute Pursuit (Jun 26, 2006)

Prayers continuing for your family brother. I believe I met you and your wife more than a few years ago. It saddens me that y'all are having to go through this. If we can help in any way, we will.


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## grittydog (Jan 16, 2008)

Hang in there. Sorry for your loss. I have 3 girls and dont know if I would handled it as good as you have..


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## OnedayScratch (May 23, 2012)

Please understand Brad, we are feeling your pain too. But you are definitely stronger than I would be, I believe. I sent another up for you and your wife. For her sisters, for her babies.
Janeen will live in you forever. What a beautiful name btw.


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## 032490 (Jul 25, 2007)

So sorry for your loss.
Ken


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## Chuck (May 21, 2004)

Very sorry for the tragic loss of your beloved daughter. I am very very familiar with your pain, sorrow, and anger at this moment and can only offer a sympathetic shoulder and full understanding at this time. Wish I could do more but sadly, this is a road you have to travel yourself UNLESS you choose to let others help you. With you sharing your feelings, you have found you have so many friends here, most of whom you dont know, but all are willing to help in any way. Just know, brother, you and your entire family are in all of our prayers. Today will be a tough day....surround yourself with family and friends and hold them all tightly to you during this time, especially your wife and children. We are here to help in any way.


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## shank00 (Dec 15, 2005)

Shows how precious life is. Words cannot express the sorrow of losing a one of your children. Prayers for you and your beautiful family.


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Chuck said:


> Very sorry for the tragic loss of your beloved daughter. I am very very familiar with your pain, sorrow, and anger at this moment and can only offer a sympathetic shoulder and full understanding at this time. Wish I could do more but sadly, this is a road you have to travel yourself UNLESS you choose to let others help you. With you sharing your feelings, you have found you have so many friends here, most of whom you dont know, but all are willing to help in any way. Just know, brother, you and your entire family are in all of our prayers. Today will be a tough day....surround yourself with family and friends and hold them all tightly to you during this time, especially your wife and children. We are here to help in any way.


This is the ONLY place I have allowed my self to vent or release. So, for this, I cannot express my gratitude for the time people have taken to follow this and respond...I know this isn't an easy thing to follow, especially if this is something people have faced themselves.

2cool family has always been so supportive of me, my family, the people I have served professionally and personally. I am grateful, but not surprised by the outpouring of support here... Solid people on this board!! Some really "wrong" opinions sometimes, but solid people...lol...jk...Trying to add a little humor...

I will process this for me when we have said our final goodbyes and I am able to sit still for just a minute... Keeping busy has been my solitude to this point... My wife and my daughters are surrounded by so much support (I am too) so I can allow those that love us, to love us, and I can stay focused on showing the respect to my daughter and her children... I am TRYING to have a heart for her husband and his suffering, but if you knew the history there, you would understand... I am being civil and supportive, but THIS takes every ounce of energy I have when I am near him or dealing with him.

I will tell you this.... I find it just completely unacceptable that this guy, a guy who has treated her like $hit, abused her, turned her to drugs, walked out on her and her kids several times....Why HE is the one that's gets the say on when and how we get to see our daughter.

Although I NEVER want ANYTHING to happen to my grandchildren, I WISH he could experience what he has done to us over the years... I am so very concerned for my Grandchildren... In this area of all of this, I feel helpless....But I know, should we be "ugly" to him, or treat him as he deserves, we will never see those girls again...

I am TRULY torn... and really working to be balanced and kind, and supportive of him... For those of you that know me, you know how difficult this is for me... I want all of the bad blood we have to be laid to rest with my daughter so I can have my grandchildren in my life, but this will be a true test of what I can manage....


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## Jamie_Lee (Oct 28, 2010)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Prayers to you and your family <3


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## DirtKat (Dec 10, 2009)

I have no words to help your pain. Stay strong Brother.


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## teeroy (Oct 1, 2009)

Stay strong for your family.


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## scwine (Sep 7, 2006)

Again, I am very sorry you are having to go through this. For the last two nights I have talked to my wife and daughter about this unfortunate happening. I used to follow your blog from the Kerrville days to working at the timeshare at Canyon Lake, etc. In fact I was just talking about your timeshare selling days just 2 weeks ago to someone. You are definitely on a lot of our minds just to let you know.


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Today is the day that we see our daughter for the first time. For me, it will be the first time I have seen her in 2 years. 

I have a confession that as I woke up today has really hit me hard, and my friends, I HOPE you never have this happen.

My daughter had a long life or struggle with substances and bad choices (one of the shockers of how she died was that she died on a horse). One of my other struggles in this is that her husband was an abusive, felon, drug addicted, 3-4 time loser and I am trying to be kind to him, because if I cant mend this with him, we will never see those grandbabies again...

2 years ago, I found out that her children were being exposed to domestic violence. He had stabbed his teenage son in an argument and he was abusing my daughter in Arizona. I wont go into more details as I just don't want to bring up more drama. but....

When that happened, I was so concerned with her children and the environment they were in and was unable to do anything to protect her children, so I called CPS on her to assure her children were safe. She knew I called them and this created a space where we stopped talking. 

Now, I will get to see my daughter again in a wood box for the first time. 

I will have to live the rest of my days with the burden that we were estranged because of my efforts to keep my grandkids safe.... And that the call I made did NOTHING...CPS did NOTHING other than expose that I had called. 

I forced my child away from me, and she died with our last conversation together being about how I did not agree with her choices and when this finally hits me, I am not sure that this is a burden I can bear.

I just cannot believe that my last word to her were of a negative nature...Judgment, attack, opinion.... I just cant......

So, today, as I look at my daughter for the first time in over 2 years, I will do so knowing that I cant remember the last time I hugged her, that I cant express the light that she is to me, that I cant let her know how much I truly loved her and the light she truly was in my life....She died thinking that I had a bad opinion of her, that I was the one that brought stress and drama into her life, that I judged her....

I just don't know how I will manage this the rest of my days... I just don't know. What kind of father am I? What kind of man lets his kids die witht hat kind of energy between them....How can I ever make that up?? Just how..... 

I am a terrible man...... I just ......jeezus.....jeezus....


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## EvansMarine (Jun 7, 2010)

Wow, Couldn't Imagine loosing any of my girls! My heart breaks for you man, and you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Sorry for your loss


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## MarkU (Jun 3, 2013)

Brad, you were doing what any loving parent would have done. Which was trying to protect your daughter, and grandchildren. Don't for one minute believe she didn't know this deep down. Just as you loved her, I guarantee she loved you.

Try your best to get through this week. Stay strong, and level headed. Focus on those grandkids, and your family. Even though you don't like your SIL. I'm sure he's freaked the **** out. And is going to need your help with those grandkids. Maybe, if anything good can come from this. Is he steps up, and becomes the caring, worried, and the father he should be. From your posts, he's going to need a role model. Maybe that's the positive outcome, from this tragedy.


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## BretE (Jan 24, 2008)

You were doing what you thought was right and justified at the time. If you could turn the clock back you may or may not do things the same but again, at the time, you had the kids best interest at heart. Donâ€™t beat yourself up second guessing everything. Bottom line, you did what you thought was right....


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## OnedayScratch (May 23, 2012)

Don't live in the past. Learn from it. Offer your help to him. Stay strong. You didn't do this and neither did he, but you both have an obligation to love those babies. As Mark said, hopefully, this is his turning point. It can be for you too.

God bless you Brad. You Do have an incredible hill in front of you, but know you have a great support staff!


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Xxxxxxx


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## Whitebassfisher (May 4, 2007)

Trying to protect your grand kids and daughter does not make you a bad person.


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## ibtbone (Oct 7, 2013)

What you did was out of love. You did the best that you could. Don't beat yourself up. Grieve, but not about trying to help her and her children. Grieve over the loss of your daughter. Be strong. You are in my prayers 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Tortuga (May 21, 2004)

"Scratch" is giving you the BEST advice..

*"DON'T LIVE IN THE PAST"..*...

That can't be un-done....and the GrandKids are gonna need you...


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

This is NOT the past.... This is RIGHT NOW!


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

I will ALWAYS be here for my grandkids... ALL WAYS!!


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## Tortuga (May 21, 2004)

No offence intended, Brad...I've been exactly where you are now...
and know what you are going thru...

Absolutely the most horrible thing in the world...Just meant stay
as strong as you can...there is a future....


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## DA REEL DADDY (Jun 7, 2005)

bzrk180 said:


> I will ALWAYS be here for my grandkids... ALL WAYS!!


When you called cps, you were there for your grandkids. That is what a good grandfather does, looks over and helps. You did that.
Some folks would not have enough courage to get in there daughters or sil business, but you did. You did it for the grandkids. So you were there for them then and you'll be there for them now.

God Bless you all.


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## Spirit (Nov 19, 2008)

Ever since this happened I'm going to bed at night thinking about your family, if I wake up in the night you're on my mind and when I wake up in the morning y'all are the first thought I have. I have such empathy for a family that loses a child, it's always been my greatest fear. I was thinking of your gorgeous Nene and how blessed she was to have a father like you. I can only imagine how much she loved you. Us females never outgrow being Daddy's Little Girl. Don't worry about being on auto pilot, emotions will hit when your mind realizes it can stop carrying the load and let your heart feel again.

Edit: I hadn't read your earlier post when I made this. But it doesn't change a thing I said. Your daughter knew what her choices were, she knew you loved her, and she also knew you wanted the best for her and for your grandchildren. Being estranged doesn't change the love the love is always there. Had you not have loved her and wanted what was best you would have never had to do what you did. Whether she liked it or didn't like it she knew that. I know there's been many times I've had fights with my parents and said things I shouldn't have and been angry over things that they have done, but never once did I question if they loved me or had my best interest at heart. And I don't believe your daughter did either.


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## OnedayScratch (May 23, 2012)

Tortuga said:


> No offence intended, Brad...I've been exactly where you are now...
> and know what you are going thru...
> 
> Absolutely the most horrible thing in the world...Just meant stay
> as strong as you can...there is a future....


Same here Brad. No offense.


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## 348473 (Apr 12, 2017)

I hope you have a higher power or find one sir. When this thread gets buried and the friends leave after the wake and the leftovers are gone that is the only way to find peace and some sort of understanding. At least is was for me.

Sent from my FRD-L14 using Tapatalk


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## The1ThatGotAway (Jun 24, 2009)

Finally brought myself to read this thread and cry... sorry man, my heart is broken for you


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## Blue02 (Jul 1, 2009)

Hi Brad, I just don't have the words to say that could ease your pain and my heart breaks for you and your family. I know that nothing I can say or type will take away your pain and what you are going through. I prayed for you and your wife right now, your grand kids, and your daughters husband. One thing I know for sure is that God is with you and I prayed that you will have a peace that surpasses all understanding. I'm not sure where you live but if you would ever just want to meet up for a coffee I would be honored to make the drive and it's on me. 

What you did for your daughter and grand kids was out of love. I would have done the same and probably more. I bet if your grand kids could they would thank you for what you did. Standing up to an abusive person is not an easy task especially when it is family and you should be commended for it. 

I will keep praying for you all.


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Tortuga and OneDay, No offense taken.... I am just really angry and bitter today. I am sorry if it felt like that was directed at you...It wasn't. 

I am REALLY trying to be the adult in all of this. I have done all I can in regards to the service and making all of that happen. Now I need to just LET GO of all of it. I am struggling to deal with some of the things that are unfolding (Drama) and I am so use to talking to my wife when I am stressed or struggling and I am just not willing to expose her to anything other than the loss of our daughter. 

I actually fell off the wagon today and went and had 2 drinks at Landrys in Kemah, I was actually "looking" for a fight... I just wanted to take all of this stress and aggression out on someone... I am blessed to have friends that look out for me and who carried me through today. My nephew (he is in his 30's) was with me, as ******* as they come, ready to jump in on anything that resembles some conflict, and he was there to keep me safe and out of trouble. 

My head tonight actually feels like its going to pop.... So with that, I am off to bed....

Again, thank you all for your kind words and care, and allowing me to vent here... Its about the only place I have to do that right now and its truly very helpful... Thank you all!


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## Garwood57 (Jul 1, 2007)

Words can't do much for your loss, but praying that God will provide peace for you and your family.


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## wfishtx (Apr 10, 2006)

I could not even fathom what you and your wife and your grand kids are going through right now, so I'm not even going to try.

I will tell you that this is not going away anytime soon. You're not going to wake up one day and feel better about what has happened and you know that. 

My only bit of advice is don't let your ego get in the way of reaching out to someone. I get as a husband and a father you have an incredible sense of needing to be the strong one, but know that its absolutely okay to grieve and its amazing how much grieving helps. Its also okay to get help in dealing with something so tragic.

I unexpectedly lost my Dad about 2 years ago and I responded very similarly to how you're responding. It took me many weeks and an incredibly strong wife to help me realize that I didn't have to fight the battle on my own. For me it was a religious figure in my life that helped me and continues to help me. For my Mom it was a therapist and I am thankful everyday for that therapist. She literally saved my Mom's life. She's as much of a hero to me for saving my Mom as someone who runs into burning buildings to save lives. She just did it with her words.

Praying for you and your family.


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## CobraO (Aug 27, 2009)

I am very sorry for your loss, impossible to put into words. One step at a time, one day at a time.


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## Lezz Go (Jun 27, 2006)

A beautiful girl taken too soon. I am very sorry for your loss. 

God bless


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## Tex-Cajun (Sep 14, 2010)

I have known this girl's father for many years. He and his wife have only recently bought this place and put horses on it. This was going to be their retirement home. 

I have checked in on him a couple of times this week and his faith in GOD is what is keeping him going. Please keep him in your prayers.


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## hunterjck (Sep 30, 2010)

*Very Sad News*



bill said:


> I am very sorry to hear this, wish I had some words to share but I don't. Just know we care.


Please accept my understanding and sympathy. It seems so unfair to not have a chance to say goodbye. At our age we know death is inevitable but we expect to be able to tell the one departing that we love her, will miss her, will join her shortly.
None of my children live near so I take every chance to hug them and say "I love you." They know I mean it.
Obviously, you have many sweet memories so when the sadness sweeps over you drag up something nice to remember - that's what I do.
Right now, support your wife - she really needs you.


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Yesterday we said our final goodbyes to our daughter. 

I came into her life when she was 12 and now she is gone and yesterday it was hugely impacting when that came to a reality. 

Her husband yesterday went off on me and decided that was the day to bring up old blood. It went south very quickly. Here is a guy that got her hooked on drugs, drug her through living in nasty crack shack hotels, abused her, abandoned his children, beat her, beat her in front of those girls, played mental mind games on her and now its me who is the a$$whole?! It went south REALLY quickly. Sadly, I am sure that yesterday was probably the last day I will see those little girls...He will keep them from us just for spite, I am sure... Manipulative dopefiends tend to get their rocks off on this kind of stuff... 

Tex-Cajun is right, Janeen was at her blood fathers place when this happened, on his horses. It was terribly tragic that he witnessed this unfold and I cant imagine the suffering and guilt he must have over it all. If its GOD that carries him through, then good for him. I choose not to even engage with that side of this family so yes, say the prayers for him that you can... I have nothing for them. They have never been good people to us, and if you knew what was below the surface of those people.... Nevermind, I will not allow myself to go that route... They would probably love it if I did...

After this explosion yesterday, I truly went to a very dark place... That side of the family, every time my wife and I have stepped up to be the stand for these girls, they twist and turn it to make us as the bad people. 

I stepped off that plane and was asked if I knew anyone that could help through the process, so I reached out to people I haven't spoken to in 15 years and called in favors. I went and picked out urns, arrangements, caskets, visitation rooms, dealt with the gory and graphic details of what was going on with her body to make her ready for family to be able to view her. I offered an olive branch and shook this guys hand, tried to bury the hatchet so we could be in these girls lives... And then he comes unglued on me from our past history and attacks me... Was kind when he needed me, then when he got what he needed, attacked me...Manipulative dopefiends man....through the years and time, they are always the same... I was OUT OF MY SKIN mad and realized that I was going to have a few more hours I was going to have to "be the adult" and then realized that once this service is done, I am done... I am ready to go home...

I went to the funeral home and kept my distance. I made sure I was on the opposite side of the room whenever he was near, I kept my distance from that side of the family and gave them their space to grieve... And I sat and STEWED on how once again, that side of the family manipulated me to do the "dirty work" to provide them a space to grieve and be present in that space and that moment... 

My family showed up, knowing what had taken place, and like a GOOD family does, they surrounded me with love and grace and stayed with me... But all I wanted to do was leave... Get back on that plane and never come back to this area again... Watching that family go and embrace and surround this P.OS, tell him how much of a great husband he is, a great father he is, etc....It was making me fume and it was making me literally sick to my stomach... This guy has NEVER done anything positive for those kids or our daughter...Only created strive and trouble, pain and suffering... 

I guess maybe I AM the crazy one, because I refuse to be involved in that ridiculousness... That does not define a "good father" or a "good husband" in my book. 

About the time I was ready to just go sit in the parking lot, the GREAT people of my life showed up...

All of my crew from my LE days started to slowly walk through the door... Charles Cook, Kerri Cook, Rudy Plaza, Brandi Plaza Louis Maldonado, Jack Allen, Mike Henson, Mike Benavidez, Randy Chatham, some I haven't seen in 20 years...These are guys and I have bled with and been to war with... And they rallied to Donna and I to show their support. We all have some LEGIT history together... On the battlefield of the streets, in the jail and in the bars... Even some SO ppl that knew me, but never worked with me showed up...Melissa...She brought a plant that her son gave his last 20.00 for so he could give us something meaningful...

A VERY dear friend of mine from Austin walked in right behind them... Stephanie

Man, my knees buckled... I was overwhelmed with emotion...I could feel my self starting to break down... At the same time, I could feel myself being lifted... 

My old Commander, Ray Lease walked in the door with his wife Melanie... It would be far too long a story to go into our connection, but when she walked through the door, I was done.... It was like a radiant light just lit the room and the dark place I was in, was filled with love and light... Melanie walked up to me, grabbed me, embraced me, and I could hold back no longer... I was sobbing in her arms....

As I started to gather myself, I looked up and Karen, my oldest and dearest friend(4th grade)in this world walked in the door with her husband Mark... She had flown in from Dallas JUST to be there for the service and was flying out just a few hours later.... She just wanted to be here for me and my family.... I could barely stand!

As I was hugging her, my old boss Kim and her husband Bill came in the door from Kerrville... No expectation that they would have even considered this journey... 

Charolette Comeux From Port Bolivar showed up with her Brother Tommy on the phone to be there for us... 

And it just kept flowing.... 

We set up the funeral home and viewing area for just 20-30 people because we thought it would be a small gathering... I think probably 250+ people showed up for this...There was a time that we were elbow to elbow in that funeral home there were so many people... 2 parking lots packed with people parking across the street... It was incredible..

I even had one lady walk up to me and ask "Are you a fisherman" and I thought she was asking if that was my last name...I said "No Maam, you must have the wrong family" She said "OK, you aren't on 2cool" and I was stunned.... "Yes, yes I am" And she said she had been following the story and she actually knows one of my daughters from Church... 

And I am sorry, but if you are reading this, please speak up and tell me your names...Thank you so much for being there... 

One guy walked in from Best Trucking (My middle daughters husbands family business) and I recognized him but couldn't place the name... Then Rudy comes up to me "Brad, you remember Ozzy" and BAM, it hit me... This was a guy that was Rudys high school buddy that we use to raise cane with back in the day, and he works with my daughters...Crazy small world!

So, it was an amazing outpouring of support and I just cannot express with words my gratitude for all of those people showing up, and my 2cool family here for being so supportive and allowing me this place to vent and express my suffering so I could keep that from my girls... This place has been a blessing to me for many years, and it continues to do so...Thank you all!

May the blessings of life find you at every step... Thank you all for all of your kindness, compassion and understanding.... I will be heading home tomorrow to get back to our home and our animals...Donna will stay here to help our youngest daughter transition back to some kind of normalcy.... And leaving my girls will be terribly hard for me..

I am sure, when I get home, and sit on the couch and allow myself to breathe, I will be a mess.... Now, my time here is done....Now I can get centered with all of this in a place I feel comfortable and safe, and I will be able to say my goodbyes to my daughter in my way....

RIP Janeen....You were, and are, dearly loved.... I hope what we are taught is true and we will see each other again....Chill that bottle of Jameson and have a drink waiting on me when I get there.... I have loved you as long as I have known you, and I will love you until the day that I die... I wish we could have made more peace with each other before you left... I hope you left knowing that you, your sisters and your Mother are the reason I breathe and get up every day... Gods Speed Nene....Gods speed!


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## Won Hunglo (Apr 24, 2007)

I am so sorry. No parent should feel pain like this. Prayers...


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Donna is back in Colorado. Texas is behind us for now. We will be together for the first time, alone, at home, since this terrible event happened. 

Life starts from scratch today. I am not sure I can remember a day when I look to the future and can see no clear path... Its a scary place for me. 

I have no expectations of how this unfold and am trusting the process completely. My wife is terribly shattered, and I hope that our love will be able to gather the pieces and make us at least, somewhat whole again. But I know that is a long way away...

I am not sure I have ever felt so helpless in my whole life. And I know that there is NOTHING I can do in this space and this time to make anything better.... there is only space in us for the grief and I hope this space doesn't stay long. 

The continuing support has been just overwhelming... People have really shown up for us. I got home and our house was cleaned, our laundry done, our bed made, freezer full of food, table covered in cards (still unopened) and gifts... I am truly amazed at this support... We are clearly loved by the people around us.... It helps us know that we are "safe" because this is the most vulnerable I have ever felt. 

Spring is a time for new beginnings, new birth, new life.... Our hope is that we can break through the ground together and grow as strong as we ever have, without a part of the root that defined us before... 

Blessings to you all...


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## TIMBOv2 (Mar 18, 2010)

Stay strong brother.
No one deserves to go what your family has had to endure.
Our prayers are with yâ€™all.


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## POC Fishin' Gal (Nov 20, 2009)

more prayers up for all of you......I hope you will soon find the peace you deserve.


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Going through old pics... Its hurts and fills my heart at the same time...


I miss her so much...


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