# Favorite "pick up" lines



## prokat (Jul 17, 2010)

Let's here em
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Do you like to travel? How bout a trip to pound town


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## steve holchak (May 18, 2012)

gom1 said:


> Let's here em
> Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
> Do you like to travel? How bout a trip to pound town


Not gettin' any, are you.


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## jamisjockey (Jul 30, 2009)

Does this rag smell like chloroform?


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## sharkchum (Feb 10, 2012)

Do you have any Italian in you? Do you wan't some?. That was one of my dads favorites.


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## prokat (Jul 17, 2010)

steve holchak said:


> Not gettin' any, are you.


Lol,yeah you better duck on either one of those


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## Jetty Rat (Feb 16, 2015)

jamisjockey said:


> Does this rag smell like chloroform?


That's funny!


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## POC CAT (Aug 15, 2014)

gom1 said:


> Let's here em
> Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
> Do you like to travel? How bout a trip to pound town


The loneliest man in Austin! :rotfl:


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## pknight6 (Nov 8, 2014)

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?


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## specsultan (Apr 2, 2009)

Do you work for UPS?
No, why"
I thought I saw you checking my package !!


Wanna play the Lion game?
How does it go?
You growl and I'll throw the meat to you.


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## prokat (Jul 17, 2010)

Can you help me find my puppy? He's over here by this cheap motel


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## Bearwolf34 (Sep 8, 2005)

Ever stuck a hot dog in a donut? Do you want to?


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## G-Money (Aug 3, 2007)

Must be a holiday in heaven, the first angel just came down.


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## kneekap (Nov 13, 2012)

I once knew a young man who would cruise down the seawall and ask chicks if they want to do "it". Surprisingly, a few even said yes!


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## Bearwolf34 (Sep 8, 2005)

I just got the shocks changed on my car, want to try them out?

I'll give ya a nickle if you tickle my pickle. ill give ya a dime if you take your time.

Or if ya like the short and simple approach. Give me a dollar and I'll make ya hollar. Lol


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

Hey...Gimmie some of that kitty...I know you got it on ya!


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## Navi (Jun 2, 2009)

Nice Shoes! Wanna #@&%??


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## essayons75 (May 15, 2006)

"Pick up" line?....Lay Ho, Heave!


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## GreenZ (Jul 9, 2011)

I like pizza, wanna "do it ?". Why, you don't like pizza?


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## OnedayScratch (May 23, 2012)

100 gets me allll night???


Ehhhh, ok.


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## rut-ro (Oct 12, 2008)

Baby (pause) you got a mouth like a smoke house.....I'd sure like to hang my meat in there. 

Did you wash your pants in windex? Cause I can see myself in them.


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## Aggie1127 (Nov 18, 2014)

I lost my phone number. Can I have yours


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## prokat (Jul 17, 2010)

rut-ro said:


> Baby (pause) you got a mouth like a smoke house.....I'd sure like to hang my meat in there.
> 
> Did you wash your pants in windex? Cause I can see myself in them.


Lol


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## poco jim (Jun 28, 2010)

rut-ro said:


> Baby (pause) you got a mouth like a smoke house.....I'd sure like to hang my meat in there.
> 
> Did you wash your pants in windex? Cause I can see myself in them.


 Lame guys, Real Lame. All of you'll still virgins:rotfl::headknock


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## Ox Eye (Dec 17, 2007)

Here's one that actually worked. I was shopping for boots at Cavenders and decided to also look at some jeans. The gal clerk in that department helped me find the size I needed and I tried them on for fit. I decided to buy the jeans, too, and as we were walking to the checkout counter I made my move.

"I've gotten into your jeans, so I think it's only right that I buy you dinner."

Three dates later we went our seperate ways. Apparently, I wasn't always so clever.

About a year later, a hot chick (that is now my wife) and I were in another Cavenders. Do I need to tell you who our clerk was?


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## WoundedMinnow (Oct 11, 2011)

" If I said you had a beautiful body. Would you hold it against me?


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## poco jim (Jun 28, 2010)

WoundedMinnow said:


> " If I said you had a beautiful body. Would you hold it against me?


 That was a great song


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## davis300 (Jun 27, 2006)

Are you a computer whizâ€¦ it seems you know how to turn my software to hardware

You mustâ€™ve just had Campbellâ€™s soupâ€¦ cause youâ€™re lookinâ€™ mmmâ€¦ mmm good!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## tbdoppler (Aug 27, 2011)

Hey suga, what time do you have get back to heaven...lol ... Kinda cheesy to me, but I saw it work for a guy one night


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## Surfangler1450 (Jul 14, 2010)

Just a few that me and a buddy use when we're goofing off at the bar:

"How much does a polar bear weigh?"... "Enough to break the ice, Hi I'm ____."


1. "Doesn't this place smell like Up Dog?"
2. "What's Up Dog?"
1. "Nothing much. How are you beautiful?"


Drop some Limes at their feet and fumble around while looking like you're trying to pick them up. Once you have her attention, look up and say "I'm sorry, I'm really bad at pick-up limes"

"You know, you smell different when you're awake"


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## Bob Keyes (Mar 16, 2011)

My favorite tactic was to read the Cosmo covers and any time it said anything about finding men I bought it, read it to find out where it was sending the ladies and went there and waited. Worked pretty well too.


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## Fargus (Feb 13, 2006)

Skiing Heavenly in Lake Tahoe one time, I was wearing my camo hunting bibs and jacket because it was all I had. Some ladies stopped me to ask if I could take their picture. After the picture was done, one of em asked why I was dressed in all camo.....what for it.....I was hunting snow bunnies!!!


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## Johnny9 (Sep 7, 2005)

Would you like to join me at church this Sunday. Works almost every time for a 1st date.


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## baron von skipjack (Jun 23, 2009)

this actually ,,,will,,work,,,hey darlin,were you here last nite ? 99% chance they werent, ,,i think i met your 'twin' sister,i was kinda feelin no pain,its kind of fuzzy,but i think she said her name was,,,'gorgeus',,its not corny and actually a compliment..after that your on your own,,i drink moosehead for that one


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## Flyingvranch (Mar 10, 2014)

"That's a pretty dress! It would look even prettier lying on the floor next to my bed...."

Ah the single days... I'm just trying to help you youngins' out some. Wait till you find the "one" and marry and you'll quickly forget all these cheesy pick-up lines!


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## Bearwolf34 (Sep 8, 2005)

Just purchase a ticket to the 50 shades flick on saturday night. Then its time to go to work, hit several of the empty seat between two gals that dont have a ring on their finger....something oughta "heat up" about 1/2-2/3 through the movie....


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## TIMBOv2 (Mar 18, 2010)

Navi said:


> Nice Shoes! Wanna #@&%??


:headknockbeat me to it:rotfl:


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## dwmason (Aug 12, 2007)

How about me and you give that 18 hour bra a rest


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## jamisjockey (Jul 30, 2009)

Bearwolf34 said:


> Just purchase a ticket to the 50 shades flick on saturday night. Then its time to go to work, hit several of the empty seat between two gals that dont have a ring on their finger....something oughta "heat up" about 1/2-2/3 through the movie....


Nah. They'll just assume you bat for the other team. Not that there's anything wrong with it.


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## pocjetty (Sep 12, 2014)

jamisjockey said:


> Does this rag smell like chloroform?


I actually horked my iced tea out of my nose on that one. That's funny. Not nice, but funny.

OP - your profile says you're 51. Some things have happened since you were in college. Just ask - and offer to take video with your very expensive smart phone and send her a copy. If you just HAVE to resort to a line, tell her that you produce an adult website, and would like her to do a tryout.


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## Bosshog55 (Dec 15, 2010)

TX BOSUN said:


> Wanna play "Pearl Harbor?" I lay down and you blow the ---- outta me.


Ummm


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## prokat (Jul 17, 2010)




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## meterman (Jan 2, 2011)

some good ones 
u ever been on top a fat man 
<wait for it>
you can see forever


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## Gemini8 (Jun 29, 2013)

It's a wonder some of y'all are married. It's no wonder why some of y'all are still single....lol Some of these are really funny; keep them coming.


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## fish655011 (Feb 21, 2015)

Very funny. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Navi (Jun 2, 2009)

dip you finger in a glass of water, touch your shirt, then touch her shirt.... "lets go to my place and get out of these wet clothes"


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## Propwash (Jul 29, 2005)

"Excuse me, but do your feet hurt? Umm, no why? "Cause you've been running through my mind all night long"


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## bubbas kenner (Sep 4, 2010)

Hey babe you like Barry White.


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## State_Vet (Oct 10, 2006)

you know what they say....you aint been loved, till you've been nubbed!


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

Him: Hi, would you like to dance?
Her: Not with you.
Him: ?? You must've misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants.

Him: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Her: Unfertilized.


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## Danny Jansen (Sep 15, 2005)

Say, didn't we go to different schools together?


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## Wado (May 15, 2011)

If you have it going on like Mac you don't need no pick up lines!


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## Dick Hanks (Aug 16, 2007)

The best pick up line ever used by a woman:

It was 1936.... Mae West was returning from Chicago to the railway station in L.A. There was a police officer assigned to escort her. As she exited the train, she looked at the officer and said:

Is that a pistol in you pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

She later used that line in 2 of her movies.


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## TXPalerider (May 21, 2004)

What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in the room?

I may not be the best looking guy in here, but, I'm the one talking to you.

Did you get those jeans on sale? Cause at my house they're 100% off.


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## Centex fisher (Apr 25, 2006)

"You know what would look good on you?......................... Me"


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## camarokid (Dec 27, 2011)

I had a few different approaches. I would always hit the bars with a wingman, so we would often work together.

"Hey, do you see that guy at the other side of the bar...He want's to know if you think I'm cute".


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## g_mo (Jun 27, 2005)

Girl, your parents must have been terrorists...

'cause you da BOMB


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## Old sailor (Mar 30, 2014)

He: I'd sure like to get in your jeans.

Her: No thanks, one a-- hole in there is enough.


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## MarkU (Jun 3, 2013)

I'm not Asian but I'll still eat your cat.


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## FLAT FISHY (Jun 22, 2006)

Dat yer bote? r yer soon to be ex ol manz! buy the way whut kinda truk he drivin


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## BigTim (Dec 3, 2006)

Do you want me to call you for breakfast in the morning or do you want me to give you a nudge?


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## topwatrout (Aug 25, 2009)

"Know why you're coming home with me?....I'm stronger than you"


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## stir krazy (Jun 14, 2010)

him:whens the last time you had your belly button kissed? her:hmmmm him:from the inside


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Not a pickup line but funny...

Some coworkers and I were eating in a diner and a cute waitress had just taken our order. Thinking she had walked away already, one of the guys said that when she comes back, I'm just gonna look her way and lick my eyebrows. She tapped him on the shoulder and said go ahead, I'll be impressed! That guy turned red as a stop sign.


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## fy0834 (Jan 18, 2011)

Him; WOW, your even more beautiful than your internet pics.
Her; excuse me?
Him; Listen Karen, the private jet is held up in its annual until the morning so we will just catch dinner and a movie before leaving for Aspen first thing.
Her; My name isn't Karen
Him; It could be...


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## JamesAggie (Jun 28, 2012)

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten-I-see!!

Yes I know it's lame.


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## Empty Pockets CC (Feb 18, 2009)

Hey hey is that a mirror in your pocket?
Because I can see myself in your pants. 

What are you doing?
Checking your label. 
Just like I thought. Made in heaven.


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## cwbycrshr (May 23, 2013)

Reminds of something that happened a long time ago to a close friend. 

They where in a bar and watched a group of very attractive women come in and sit down. They went over and introduced themselves, offered to buy them drinks, asked them to dance, etc. 

One of the women said "Mr., we are all lesbians, I don't think your getting very far with us."

His response: "Ha! I'm a lesbian too...I love eating *****." They partied all night.


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## GulfCoast1102 (Dec 30, 2013)

The one that worked for me (yes, i married her) was to say "Hey! If you're calling my house on that phone, i'm not home. Just leave your name and number and i'll call you back!". (She was using her cell phone, yapping to someone. I still have no idea who she was on the phone with.) 

She laughed, and said "But I don't have your number!". I gave it to her.

That was New Year's Day in 2003, stuck in traffic on the international bridge returning from Matamoros to Brownsville. 2 kids, a house, and 3 cities later, she still laughs about it and I do too.


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## Charlie in TX (May 4, 2012)

You have such beautiful blond hair. Why do you die your roots brown? 

Got slapped for that one.


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## Bazooka (Dec 10, 2011)

stir krazy said:


> him:whens the last time you had your belly button kissed? her:hmmmm him:from the inside


Boy this is an oldie, but I can verify that it works surprisingly well.... particularly when used with a shot or two of alcohol primer.

Mine went like this though: "Ever had your belly button licked? ....From the inside........???" (followed by a big smile)


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## fangard (Apr 18, 2008)

jamisjockey said:


> Nah. They'll just assume you bat for the other team. Not that there's anything wrong with it.


No that's good. They drop their guard.


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## CORNHUSKER (Jul 12, 2004)

Navi said:


> Nice Shoes! Wanna #@&%??


 :rotfl:

:brew2:


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## fangard (Apr 18, 2008)

"I'm needy, you're needy. Why should we both be needy on a night like this?"


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## Jaydub (Jun 2, 2012)

Dang girl you look so good I'd like to plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!!


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## whiskeygirl (Feb 23, 2015)

Favorite I've ever heard.....let me set the scene, it was a bar/dancehall in central TX, it was t-storming pretty hard, and my friend & I were talking about going home and sitting on the porch and watching the storm....this dude overheard us & said "Hey if you ladies want to come to my place tonight, I'll show you some texas thunder".


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## golffisherbob (Aug 11, 2005)

Three heavy girls walk into a bar. My buddy says, "Hey y'all come over and sit down, you are going to end up over here anyway. True story! But they were all cute!


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