# Just found Pot in Daughters room????



## EATSLEEPFISH (Jun 5, 2007)

Ok....Just found Pot in my daughters drawer.... I have 4 kids, 3 girls 1 boy. 1 infant, 1 in college and 2 in HS.Of all of them she is the least likely one I would have imagined. She in an honor roll student. Colonel of her HS Varsity dance team. They do random drug screening (twice this year) Im at a loss.... She's not even home from school yet and I cannot figure it out. 

What do you do?? FML!


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## sotexhookset (Jun 4, 2011)

Good luck. Pull from way down deep in your parental skills bag and be cool. Sounds like you've done well thus far and she's a good kid.


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## aggie2015 (Dec 9, 2010)

HS random drug tests r a joke. Many many fellow athletes should have never passed a single one but never failed


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## mastercylinder60 (Dec 18, 2005)

EATSLEEPFISH said:


> Ok....Just found Pot in my daughters drawer.... I have 4 kids, 3 girls 1 boy. 1 infant, 1 in college and 2 in HS.Of all of them she is the least likely one I would have imagined. She in an honor roll student. Colonel of her HS Varsity dance team. *They do random drug screening (twice this year)* Im at a loss.... She's not even home from school yet and I cannot figure it out.
> 
> What do you do?? FML!


they do random drug screening in your high school? i'd have a problem with that.


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## Tripletime (Nov 2, 2005)

Sorry to hear the horrible news. Prayers for you and your daughter. Don't know what to say other than I will pray for your family.


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

sotexhookset said:


> Good luck. Pull from way down deep in your parental skills bag and be cool. Sounds like you've done well thus far and she's a good kid.


X2...Be glad you didn't find heroin & a few needles.


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## bluefin (Aug 16, 2005)

Ask her how she'd feel if she found you/spouse with some pot.
Then ask her what benefits she sees with smoking pot.


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## speckyak (Mar 10, 2006)

It's ok , she was probably just holding it for a friend!


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## wtc3 (Aug 16, 2005)

EATSLEEPFISH said:


> What do you do?? FML!


If you ever took a little toke when you were younger .......... you might wanna take that into consideration. If not, well, I can't help you much. I think I'd have a problem with random testing at the school though. Let us know how it turns out.


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## V-Bottom (Jun 16, 2007)

when she goes to get it and its not there........hummmmmmmmmm...see what she does or says......


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## BretE (Jan 24, 2008)

Blk Jck 224 said:


> X2...Be glad you didn't find heroin & a few needles.


X3.......it ain't the end of the world.....I'm sure well over half the people here smoked a little weed at some point.....


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## Bonito (Nov 17, 2008)

ESF, went through the same thing when my daughter was 17. She's 29 now.

DON'T over react. Don't try to make her tell you where she got it. Don't yell at her. Don't threaten her. Take her out side or somewhere private to discuss this. I hate to tell you this, but this is not the last time she will smoke. Be calm and loving. You'll get much further if you are calm. Good luck Brother.


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## w_r_ranch (Jan 14, 2005)

Confiscate it & don't say anything for a few days... watch how she reacts. In a few days leave it in plain view on the kitchen counter/table & wait to have your discussion with her. By then you'll know better what to say.


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## KRAZYKARL (Jul 28, 2011)

Smoke it before you talk to her so you will be chilled out. 

Not much you can do. The harder you are on her about it the more likely she will be to do it more. Some times we have to learn things on our own. I was never into drugs but we did drink and thats just as bad if not worse.


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## big john o (Aug 12, 2005)

w_r_ranch said:


> Confiscate it & don't say anything for a few days... watch how she reacts. In a few days leave it in plain view on the kitchen counter/table & wait to have your discussion with her. By then you'll know better what to say.


Funny... That is exactly what my dad did when I was a kid...


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## HarborHustler (Nov 30, 2011)

V-Bottom said:


> when she goes to get it and its not there........hummmmmmmmmm...see what she does or says......


X2

overreacting will just make it worse. but definitely get to the bottom of it.

i would take her out to a local shady bar dive and show her where the pot smokers end up.

then sell what you found..
lol jk


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## bubbas kenner (Sep 4, 2010)

Be straight up with her,give her a chance to come clean with the truth.This is way too common and I respect you coming to a public forum for answers.We will love our kids no matter what.Its time to have a heart to heart talk with her.This drug plant herb what ever you want to call it has ruined peoples lives and keeps you from going forward.No jobs allow it its illegal.your parenting skills will kick in.Gods words always have answers.


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## ralph7 (Apr 28, 2009)

Bonito said:


> ESF, went through the same thing when my daughter was 17. She's 29 now.
> 
> DON'T over react. Don't try to make her tell you where she got it. Don't yell at her. Don't threaten her. Take her out side or somewhere private to discuss this. I hate to tell you this, but this is not the last time she will smoke. Be calm and loving. You'll get much further if you are calm. Good luck Brother.


x10
this is the advice you should follow.


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## Spots and Dots (May 23, 2004)

A little discussion that includes trust is in order.



Makes me glad my kid is only 22months and the biggest prob we have is changing his diaper.


Good luck i don't envy you or look fwd to it.


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## michaelbaranowski (May 24, 2004)

When she is at home. Go in the backyard an smoke one up where she is sure to see you doing it.

Or leave a note in place of the weed "Thanks for the smoke".


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## wickedinhere (Oct 4, 2004)

What time we gonna spark it up?


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## teamfirstcast (Aug 23, 2006)

This is gonna get difficult... You take it she will know and will not say anything, just start harboring resentment toward you for the breech of "trust". Best confront her like the "adult" she is trying to become (the path just got a lot steeper for her!). Lay down the law, remove privileges, start screening friends, monitoring calls, etc. Be the parent and let her know it is NOT allowed, no exceptions, ever. Be tough but loving, give her the chance to make up for her mistake and go forward and put it behind you. But always remember: Trust but verify! Good luck to you and your kids.


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## dicky78377 (Jan 19, 2012)

w_r_ranch said:


> Confiscate it & don't say anything for a few days... watch how she reacts. In a few days leave it in plain view on the kitchen counter/table & wait to have your discussion with her. By then you'll know better what to say.


Dam, thats great advice. Make her think a little.
Tough situation to be in. Just pray for a little guidance from above, sounds like shes a good girl , might just be a phase. Good Luck.


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## Mad Mike (Dec 28, 2005)

Bonito said:


> ESF, went through the same thing when my daughter was 17. She's 29 now.
> 
> DON'T over react. Don't try to make her tell you where she got it. Don't yell at her. Don't threaten her. Take her out side or somewhere private to discuss this. I hate to tell you this, but this is not the last time she will smoke. Be calm and loving. You'll get much further if you are calm. Good luck Brother.


This ^^^


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## RRfisher (Mar 5, 2007)

w_r_ranch said:


> Confiscate it & don't say anything for a few days... watch how she reacts. In a few days leave it in plain view on the kitchen counter/table & wait to have your discussion with her. By then you'll know better what to say.


I think this is very good advice.


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## BIG Flat Skiff (May 25, 2004)

That's a tough one. I would play it calm and collected. I would wait until she is in her room and go in there, shut the door, put it in front of her and just look at her. If she doesn't say anything ask her when she started smoking pot. 

I have no idea how you parent. From what you posted you seem like you're a good dad. If you just blow up at her it will only put her on the defensive and things will probably go down hill from there. 

If it were my daughter, she would defiantly loose a lot of privileges for quite some time. 

I would not let her have very much personal space, if any. I would read her text messages, email and get the password to any of her social media sites she visits. She has got to know that there are consequences for her not only smoking pot, but for bringing it into YOUR house. At this point there is no such thing as trust because she broke trust by her own actions. Trust will have to be earned all over again day by day.

On a side note, smoking pot isn't the end of the world. I know no parent wants their child to get involved with drugs but a lot of us smoked when we were kids and grew out of it. 

Play it cool dad and hopefully you can talk some sense into her.


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## BBCAT (Feb 2, 2010)

As far as random testing at the school I don't have a problem. As for your daughter approach with caution. Hopefully you had a valid reason for opening her drawer (putting up clothes, ect) otherwise you might have two battles. As for the pot, let her know the dangers and the consequences and that this is the first and last time.


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## monster (Apr 11, 2008)

Talk to her about it, and explain why drugs are BAD. Kids are gonna experiment...doesn't make them all bad. Yelling or overreacting is just going to reassure her that she can't talk to you. If you talk to her calmly, she's a lot more likely to start to let you in to "her world", and be honest with you in the future.

Then ground her or give her some kind of labor project as punishment.


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## C.Hern5972 (Jul 17, 2009)

I simply talked to my son when I caught him. He did it twice, he confessed. I told him it might hinder his career and he threw it away. Hasn't touched it in over 3 yrs. it is a tough subject, be calm and speak with her rather than gettin upset.


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

Brete said:


> X3.......it ain't the end of the world.....I'm sure well over half the people here smoked a little weed at some point.....





big john o said:


> Funny... That is exactly what my dad did when I was a kid...


Stoners


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## King Ding-A-Ling (May 28, 2010)

Whats the big deal with random drug testing at high schools?? They will get randomly drug tested at work in the real world and, after all, that is what high school is preparing them for.


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## V-Bottom (Jun 16, 2007)

*trip to a womens prison.....*



HarborHustler said:


> X2
> 
> overreacting will just make it worse. but definitely get to the bottom of it.
> 
> ...


 I may be able to arrange this........


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## Bozo (Jun 16, 2004)

Just smoke it and whatever problem you had with it before will fade away. 

I'm not a smoker but if that's the biggest problem you have with any of your kids you're blessed. It's not the end of the world, just tell her how you are disappointed and don't approve of it. Add in how she is adding to the problem of thousands of senseless killings along the border due to the drug cartels by supporting them with her money. She'll get it. Or she'll think your stupid and old. Either way, not much you can do other than that.


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## Kenner21 (Aug 25, 2005)

Womens prison? For smoking weed? Better off showing her a couch because that is where that weed will leave her while all her friends are off at college (smoking weed and having sex) Man I'm glad I don't have kids. Good luck


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## Blue Water Breaux (Feb 6, 2008)

be glad you dont live in CO!

Like W R Ranch said...my parents pulled this on me when I was much younger and wiser...believe me, it works!


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## capt. david (Dec 29, 2004)

you got 4 children, college age, 2 hs age than a infant!!!, lol maybe you smoked too much weed one evening. lol j/k i would not wait. go about your normal afternoon and talk to her when she gets home. don't over react, it is only weed. sounds as if your disappointed in her, let her know that.


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## V-Bottom (Jun 16, 2007)

maybe she's already in college


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## Timalgrath (Jun 21, 2011)

its better than catching her with a bottle of booze........


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## BIG Flat Skiff (May 25, 2004)

King Ding-A-Ling said:


> Whats the big deal with random drug testing at high schools?? They will get randomly drug tested at work in the real world and, after all, that is what high school is preparing them for.


Let's keep on topic for this thread.


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## bill (May 21, 2004)

It's not the end of the world and it sure could have been worse...positive pregnant test or serious bad drugs.

Just relax, speak with your wife first. Then both of you talk to her. Just be honest. She sounds like a good kid. Then once ya'll had a chance to sit down and talk, leave it alone. Don't go to your neighbors or other family members.


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## wisslbritches (May 27, 2004)

Dang. I see a few folks here who obviously wont be up for Parent of the Year Award for 2012. 

Review the rules and consequences of her actions....while she's under your roof. Be prepared to address the "violation of space" issue. You were in her stuff Dad. This falls back under the "while she's under your roof" policy. 

Another thing to keep in mind, as far as consequences, is that psychologically, teenagers don't think and plan beyond next week.


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## BretE (Jan 24, 2008)

Blk Jck 224 said:


> Stoners


LOL.....I meant to say except me!


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## FishyChef (Jun 22, 2011)

Was it KB? Or just the cheap Mexi-stuff?


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## RockportRobert (Dec 29, 2006)

Make sure that she knows the ramifications of getting caught with this, or failing a drug screen. Scholarships, military options, jobs, etc. could all be put at risk. When we had a problem that was about on this same level, privacy was removed for a while. No cell phone, door to bedroom removed, and no driving. Did this for only a short time, but it left an impression. Parenting isn't for sissies!


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## Igofish (Apr 18, 2010)

for some reason after looking at dicky78377's avatar - a spanking comes to mind...


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## BIGMIKE77 (May 2, 2009)

I wouldnt hide it, i have a lot of family and friends who look up to me and usually ask my advice, three times this has come up, once with a male, twice were females, best thing to do is remain calm, let her know what this could have cost you (your house, job, car_ what it could have cost her and then find prime examples of those users and how their lives have turned out. explain lifes paths and decisions, and consequences on the subject, and also, tell her she is above being peer pressured and what lavish things she has to look forward to later down the road and those require these experimental sacrifices. and then ground her from phone and electronics for 4-6 days being her first offense


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## saltshaker1 (Feb 15, 2008)

bill said:


> It's not the end of the world and it sure could have been worse...positive pregnant test or serious bad drugs.
> 
> Just relax, speak with your wife first. Then both of you talk to her. Just be honest. She sounds like a good kid. Then once ya'll had a chance to sit down and talk, leave it alone. *Don't go to* your neighbors or *other family members*.


Yeah, just post it on the interweb.


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## Ernest (May 21, 2004)

Is it alot of weed, or just a small sack? Is she dealing weed or just smoking it? 

If she is not dealing, is 17 or so, I would not make a big deal out of it. In the modern world, the vast majority of kids are going to be exposed to weed in HS. If not there, definitely in college. Its a reality. Accept it now. 

Have the talk: its illegal, not tolerated in my house, never bring it here again, and so forth. 

But, be ready to acknowledge the facts: Its far safer than other drugs, poses far less risks than alcohol, the drug laws in this country are foolish in the manner in which it is classified, and using it in moderation AS AN ADULT will not ruin your life. Its a recreational drug, used and enjoyed by millions. 

Then, lay down the rules of the house again: Not here, never while you live here, its illegal, and irrespective of whether than law is good, bad, or otherwise, the law will be respected in your house.


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## michaelbaranowski (May 24, 2004)

It sounds like it might be about time for yall two to get fishing. She is alot less likely to be smoking weed if she is fishing with you.


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## Mick R. (Apr 21, 2011)

w_r_ranch said:


> Confiscate it & don't say anything for a few days... watch how she reacts. In a few days leave it in plain view on the kitchen counter/table & wait to have your discussion with her. By then you'll know better what to say.


I think this is a briliant idea. Let her think/worry about it for a couple of days then have a calm discussion about the pot issue.


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## mustangeric (May 22, 2010)

when i was in high school my mom caught me and a friend rolling one in my room. needless to say she took it and gave it to my dad. when my dad returned a few min later i was scared. He handled it very calmly, he told me he wasnt going to be Hippocratic cause he smoked when he was younger. he handed me my bag of stuff and told me never to leave the house with it. Im not going to say i never smoked again after that but i quickly out grew it and moved on. he was smart enough to see that if he told me not to i was going to just to be defiant.


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## flatsmaster14 (Mar 25, 2011)

monster said:


> Talk to her about it, and explain why drugs are BAD. Kids are gonna experiment...doesn't make them all bad. Yelling or overreacting is just going to reassure her that she can't talk to you. If you talk to her calmly, she's a lot more likely to start to let you in to "her world", and be honest with you in the future.
> 
> Then ground her or give her some kind of labor project as punishment.


Bingo


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## CaptDocHoliday (Feb 3, 2011)

Speaking in generalities, cannabis is not a big deal. There is sound science (not to mention hundred's of years of anecdoctal evidence) that it is less harmful than tobacco or alcohol on one's body. It was originally criminalized as a tool law enforcement could use to go after mexican and oriental immigrants back in the 1800's, and mis-information put out largly by our government has kept these archane laws on the books. Cannabis is natural and wholesome, and is less "processed" than 99% of the other consumer products you put in your body. The only real reason I see that it is being kept on the black list is because of bad information put out by the DEA and the pharmaceutical industry trying to keep their strangle hold on the drugs they can control (if pot became legal, various other drug revenues would dip). 

I had a buddy in college get busted growing a few small plants in his dorm room. Probation for 1 year with monthly wiz-quiz's was all he got, and after the probation was up his record was expunged. I know for fact that he never quit smoking during all of this, and was passing his monthly tests by simply quitting for up to a week before and drinking ton's of water. Tests are very flawed, and totally beatable. In the following years, he grew his own for personal use (with success this time), and to my knowledge he still 'partakes in the sacrament'. I believe he earned over $100k last year, so it clearly isn't detrementally impacting his success (if that is how you would measure success). 

Regardless of how anyone tells you, I'd urge you to 1) do your own research before confronting her, and 2) be willing to try it if you haven't before. Just my $0.02. It's your house, so it's your rules. Good luck.


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## Doubleover (Jul 7, 2005)

Smoke it! That will teach her a lesson


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## Fishtrap2 (Sep 16, 2005)

*Kid with weed...likely gonna happen sooner or later.*

I would focus on the fact that it is clearly breaking a law and for that reason, if for no other, it is a problem. This is what I tell my underage boy about drinking at parties, etc.

Seriously though...I have a buddy who is a DPS officer and from what he says ( I have no idea, just quoting him), it actually can get pretty serious. Apparently some of the stuff out there is laced with other things (PCP, Herion, Cocain) to make it more potent. These things offer increased health risk and are more serious than just getting caught with straight weed...think it is a felony to posess on first offense if weed is laced...in addtion, it might depend on how much one has. Maybe making her aware of this would add shock value to the conversation???

Either way, good luck...you certainly have more parenting experience than I do!


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## Doubleover (Jul 7, 2005)

Or prehaps she found it in your wives purse and received the same advice of "take it and she how she reacts" from a message board. I would take it and see how both of them react.


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## reeltimer (Feb 5, 2010)

I bet the bag momma knows about it!Good luck.


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## CentexPW (Jun 22, 2004)

Its 420 somewhere.


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## GusDawg (Dec 28, 2011)

I've been a regular smoker since Nov 2000. In that time I have:
Attended and Graduated College
Gotten Married
Bought a Car
Bought a Boat
Bought a House
Started a $30k job out of school, promoted a year later, promoted again another year later and now earn $100k+
Killed LOADS of Bucks, Ducks, and Gobblers (weed helps my patience)
Had ZERO arrests, car accidents, close calls, fights, and other bad stuff
Do NOT smoke cigarrets
Don't drink in excess (and never get drunk, don't like being hung over)
No speeding tickets
No other drugs, (Pills or harder drugs)

and nothing else really bad. All the "If you smoke it, bad things will happen" voodoo didn't come true. And I'm not special. I have tons of smoker buddies, some of which probably work with some of you all, and if you didn't know then you'd never suspect that they were stoners. The fact is, weed helps a lot of people, with all sorts of stuff from ADD to Lack of Focus, to the more serious ailments like cancer and such. There are a lot of pro's associated with marijuana, and you need to be aware of that. The days of "This is your brain on drugs" [fry and egg] are over. Not everything that get's categorized as a "drug" (by our government mind you) carries the same weight, and pot definitly belongs in a different bucket from Meth, Coke, and such. Kid's in HS are exposed to it somewhat, but College is a totally different story. Only the character of the person, and not the rules they are forced to observe, will help her make the right decisions in life. For me, smoking pot was the right decision, and I do not regret it for one minute. Nothing is for everyone, so keep an open mind when you talk, and make sure you* listen. *


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## sotexhookset (Jun 4, 2011)

Timalgrath said:


> its better than catching her with a bottle of booze........


Tend to disagree with ya T. But this comes from a guy that liked his booze (not pot) back then as well (responsibly of course ). Drank a little with Pops at that age but would've had my *** handed to me by him if it was pot. Not really a big deal but that's how it was for me anyway.

---Must unsubscribe again. Computer email close to blowing up with scribed thread/post count.


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## drobershaw (Jun 15, 2006)

Go to Walgreens and buy a home drug test. Keep the receipt because you may not need it. Tell her you have your reasons for doing this. And ask her if she is going to pass it. She may say she will, and then say prove it. She may just be up front and say no she won't pass it. Then you can say I know, and then show her the pot you found. If she does take the test and passes it, just tell her you found her stash and that is what prompted it. Just ask her this... What kind of parent would I be if I had an idea you were doing it and I didn't say anything. Tell her a good parent just wants to make sure their kid makes the right decision and sometimes parents have to do things you don't expect to have to do. Tell her it threw you for a loop and you just want to make sure she keeps her head screwed on straight. This would also be a good time to tell her if you have tried it, or had any experiences with it, and why you quit doing it (if you did). .


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

I smoked a little when I was younger, but I never exhaled.
On the serious side I would express my disapointment in her and tell her how proud you used to be of her. Make her understand how she let you down and explain the consequences one bad decision can have.
Good Luck
Prayers Sent


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## billclemens (Jan 31, 2012)

w_r_ranch said:


> Confiscate it & don't say anything for a few days... watch how she reacts. In a few days leave it in plain view on the kitchen counter/table & wait to have your discussion with her. By then you'll know better what to say.


****, can't believe I agree with W R on something.


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## saltwatersensations (Aug 30, 2004)

Make brownies with it and tell her to help you eat them. Eat yours without the pot. They are so good,,,,,num num num num.....


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## dicky78377 (Jan 19, 2012)

Igofish said:


> for some reason after looking at dicky78377's avatar - a spanking comes to mind...


Lol, x2,


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## billclemens (Jan 31, 2012)

No one below the age of 21 should be able to smoke pot. Over 21 and I'm all for it. Someday it will be legal everywhere. It has some amazing healing properties both mental and physical. Like anything else, if you abuse it then you encounter the negative aspects.


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## Slip (Jul 25, 2006)

There is no right answer. All kids will react in different ways. Happened with my youngest too and he was honor student too. We talked sternly with him and punishment and it worked out somehow.


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## Dgeddings (Sep 16, 2010)

if you have any friends that are PD ask them to come over for a while and watch tv or something and hide her stash somewhere she cant find it, see how she reacts... GL man I don't look forward to ever going through this myself, let us know how it ends up


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## beaucp (Apr 8, 2011)

At least you found it in her room before the trooper would've in her car or you'd be up s*** creek. I've never done pot or any other drugs. And never will. But I have had some beer and vino with parents present at 11o clock so I slept it off. My g'day is a former LEO, and also let me have some. (vino) again it was right before bed and with a meal.


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## frank n texas (Aug 11, 2004)

Have not you smelled it on her when you give her a hug? If you do not know what it smells like you need to would be my advice...

She may be holding it for a friend and not smoking it at all....


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## Whitebassfisher (May 4, 2007)

Over reacting would be much worse than under reacting. Think before you act. It is not the end of the world. 

Try to stick to facts, such as: I love you, I want us to keep communication open, it is against the law, if you get arrested it could very likely affect your ability to achieve some of your goals in the future, etc. 

Try very hard NOT to say: it will fry your brain, it will lead you to heroin, how did I fail as a father?, I can never trust you again, etc. 

Sure you are concerned, but if you take the high road here it will be better in the long run in many ways.


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## Javadrinker (Feb 13, 2008)

no matter wich way you decide to handle it .. make sure you tell her you love her


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## SpottedAg (Jun 16, 2010)

Slight chance she is holding it for a friend, but there is a chance. Many people are by you everyday that use. I don't think a test would do much good. My friend was given one in HS...he put some leaves in the cup and gave it back to mom and dad. He felt like they overstepped their bounds which seemed to have led him to continue use.

Someone I know really well  loved their parents and felt loved by them. The moment their mother started pouring tears from her eyes and dad was having a talk about the amount of dissappointment he was experiencing, serious consideration and action occurred to stop use. The first time, he said he was holding it for a friend, allowing him to give it back did nothing. The second time, when the goods all of a sudden were missing, he went crazy for 3 days and then had the talk that hit hard, but didn't do enough. The third time, when he found handcuffs, then had the talk, then paid the necessary $$$, that was enough. He's my good friend and is very successful. That wasn't the last time he used, but he's outgrown it to the point of virtually gone.

The talk that hit hardest (not to mention the anxiety of not knowing where his stuff went) was the one with mom and dad, full of emotions, full of *support*, full of powerful words, included career effects, legal effects, decision making effects, the feeling of betrayal for bringing it home and for them finding it (they had a good reason), and finally hugs and love.

Sounds like your doing fine...as long as the infant isn't the one with it. Hold on to it, collect your thoughts, have the talk, be calm, be supportive, and don't hold back what your future expectations are. Let us know how it goes...


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## wiltray4000 (Sep 16, 2010)

teamfirstcast said:


> This is gonna get difficult... You take it she will know and will not say anything, just start harboring resentment toward you for the breech of "trust". Best confront her like the "adult" she is trying to become (the path just got a lot steeper for her!). Lay down the law, remove privileges, start screening friends, monitoring calls, etc. Be the parent and let her know it is NOT allowed, no exceptions, ever. Be tough but loving, give her the chance to make up for her mistake and go forward and put it behind you. But always remember: Trust but verify! Good luck to you and your kids.


This is the best advice I've seen so far. If you are dissapointed that she has the pot, I suspect that the standards around your house are rather high. If you follow the advice of some here and smoke it or make light of pot you don't have a leg to stand on. I'm a teacher for 35+ years and have seen kids go down hill once introduced to pot. Ifyour standards are low, what's the big deal?


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## swifty (May 13, 2005)

Javadrinker said:


> no matter wich way you decide to handle it .. make sure you tell her you love her


This.


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## atcNick (Apr 7, 2005)

Whatever you do, let us know how it goes so we can learn from it


-Nick


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## sea sick (Feb 9, 2006)

I never messed with it. The fear of my old mans wrath was enough to just say no to drugs. He would of beat me,and i mean beat,not spank. but I have a 4yo son now. So it got me thinking. Sounds like shes a good kid,so...

Take the dope,put a note in the container you found it in and put it back in the same spot. 

Write a note, some thing short.

Tell her the two of you need to talk about the bag of dope, to come see you with the note and the bag.

She needs to feel that fatherly fear,think about what shes done,let her get those panic attacks. Regret what shes done and know that she disappointed you.Then she can build the courage up to come see you and talk about it. I'm sure by then she'll be ready for a real pow wow.

Like others have said,let her know you love her,it's not the end of the world. And tell her if you as so much find a lighter in her stuff, your gonna Rodney king her! or something to hat effect.

good luck


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## sea sick (Feb 9, 2006)

atcNick said:


> Whatever you do, let us know how it goes so we can learn from it
> 
> -Nick


This to,as a parent,I'd like to know as well


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## bearwhiz (Jan 30, 2011)

teamfirstcast said:


> This is gonna get difficult... You take it she will know and will not say anything, just start harboring resentment toward you for the breech of "trust". Best confront her like the "adult" she is trying to become (the path just got a lot steeper for her!). Lay down the law, remove privileges, start screening friends, monitoring calls, etc. Be the parent and let her know it is NOT allowed, no exceptions, ever. Be tough but loving, give her the chance to make up for her mistake and go forward and put it behind you. But always remember: Trust but verify! Good luck to you and your kids.


Beat advice I've read so far.


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## Profish00 (May 21, 2004)

**** test her, 20 bucks at the smoke shop.


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## patwilson (Jan 13, 2006)

Why????



mastercylinder said:


> they do random drug screening in your high school? _*i'd have a problem with that*_.


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## TrueblueTexican (Aug 29, 2005)

*First off*

Did you suspect something was up to look in your daughters drawer? Sounds like some broken trust already.

I have a 16 year old daughter and I have to trust her till she shows me she can't be , I've raised her to respect her parents and love her God.

Bottom line is that you can't trust her judgement, or her social circle
and there should be consequences for use of a STILL illegal substance, at the very least if she was caught by LEO with it she would be facing a fine/criminal record.

Most of all you are perfectly within your rights as a parent to exhibit your disappointment in her - if she respects you that should count for a lot - she is going to try to turn this around on YOU if you were snooping to verify a suspicion, be firm, its HER mistake not yours, and hopefully its not the end of the world -

There should be consequences, she has enjoyed living in your home , safe from the streets, fed, clothed, provided for - be wise and figue out where consequences will do the most good - its gonna be tough - you may not win, be prepared for that - in spite of best parenting in the world some prodigals have to find out the hard way and hopefuly if that happens she will turn away from that stuff on her own accord, scared straight sometimes works if its just rebellion.

A belief in someone greater than self , find a church family and lead by example.


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## CHARLIE (Jun 2, 2004)

Didnt read all the post just too many but if you have to ask on this board you have a major problem..


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## Gator gar (Sep 21, 2007)

CHARLIE said:


> Didnt read all the post just too many but if you have to ask on this board you have a major problem..


Looks like you might need to ask Charlie, looks like he knows everything.


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## Captmphillips (Jul 6, 2010)

In when my son was 13 I got custody of him because the ex couldn't handle him. He had a zero average in private school. I am a former Marine, and I had no choice but go Boot Camp on his narrow butt. I took him down and had him drug tested and told him that he would never know when the next one would happen. I caught him sneaking out in the middle of the night and screwed his window shut and removed his bedroom door. The bottom line was he had to earn back his privacy. It worked like a charm. The whole situation almost cost me my marriage but you have to hold your ground. There are very few employers out there that don't drug test. It took him six years but he graduated from Texas Lutheran with a degree in English.


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## waterwolf (Mar 6, 2005)

Be a YouTube hit....do a video in the back yard of you shooting the bag of weed with a 12 gauge shotgun..CrazyCarl would agree I"m sure.


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## chickenboy (May 5, 2008)

Who wears the pants in your house?


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## bigkountry14 (Jan 4, 2011)

The "good" one....always does sneaky things behind the parents back


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## tentcotter (Oct 23, 2009)

Send me the weed and I will make sure it gets to the proper authorities.




But seriously...

The keep your cool and act all disappointed while rationally explaining the potential downside contingent is on the mark. Nix on the let her sweat it out for a few days and then leave it out idea-you got other kids right?


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## CoastalOutfitters (Aug 20, 2004)

you should share a lefty with her, embrace the bonging of father and daughter and maybe go get a tat of a mushroom








or beat her butt and take away everything she holds dear










your call


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## FishinCowboy (Sep 8, 2010)

BIGMIKE77 said:


> I wouldnt hide it, i have a lot of family and friends who look up to me and usually ask my advice, three times this has come up, once with a male, twice were females, best thing to do is remain calm, let her know what this could have cost you (your house, job, car_ what it could have cost her and then find prime examples of those users and how their lives have turned out. explain lifes paths and decisions, and consequences on the subject, and also, tell her she is above being peer pressured and what lavish things she has to look forward to later down the road and those require these experimental sacrifices. and then ground her from phone and electronics for 4-6 days being her first offense


I have been through many things raising my 3 kids.
And this feels like some very good advice. 
I did have more rules than most, but 2 of the 3 have thanked me for the rules after they were grown, 1 still not considered grown.
My heart goes out to you as you address this situation.
Information is the best thing you can give. How you feel, what you feel, all of that will only bring up how she feels. Leave that out. She is a smart girl, so logic, and learning will have a impact. Be calm. 
As said earlier, I will pray for your success in dealing with a good kid, that you love. 
Cowboy


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## dwilliams35 (Oct 8, 2006)

I'd say that two things are paramount: don't freak out and don't post **** like this on the internet.


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## FishinCowboy (Sep 8, 2010)

dwilliams35 said:


> I'd say that two things are paramount: don't freak out and don't post **** like this on the internet.


I dont agree, we all need a little help now and then, even if he is just asking the question here to give himself a chance to get a grip on what is going on, or if he actually learns something from people here that have raised kids, or been through the same thing. I see no nothing here but a dad trying to learn what to do in a situation that he never imagined he would be in.

I do agree with "don't freak out"


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## Operationduckhunt (Aug 23, 2011)

I went through this with my parents while in high school. I respected the fact that they came to me like an adult and asked if there is anything that they should know. They gave me a chance to come clean and gain some of their trust and respect back. I came clean and got a punishment and grounded for a week and all privileges taken away. 

Stay calm and don't let your emotions run high. Give her respect and the opportunity to rectify the situation with you.

I am now 27 an have a 4 month son. I will be in the same boat your in in about 16 years. Good luck and prayers sent.


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## headed south 2 (Sep 7, 2009)

I'm 17 and I know people who have done it an still do it. But I wouldn't be able to bring my self to actually do it. Having my dad find it, Would be such an embarrassment. I'm gonna stick to fishing and football.:bluefish:


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

God created marijuana. The Indians smoked it & never had a problem until we showed up, they wouldn't share, so we killed them. Do you really think Noah was going to jump on that ark without a couple of seeds in his pocket?


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## JDM1967 (Oct 16, 2006)

So many answers, yet so many that are so wrong, I found a little pot once in my son's room, well 3 years later 4 rehab facilities 2 of 90 + days, currently going to a drug addiction program on intensive probationetc etc etc $550.000 in medical bills, including a stay for me at ICU for 4 days for a massive heart attack caused by the stress the little pot I found 2 years before but grew into full drug addiction, attempted suicides by ingesting the drugs when we found them, run away on christmas eve etc, I could of nipped it in the butt back at the beggining but we chose to believe that it was just a little pot and trusting all the BS after that, no matter what, POT is a gateway drug, and nowadays pot is not the only issue, you got pills etc when pot doesn't do the trick anymore, careful on how you handle it, but make her understand that she must cut it now before it turns into a bigger problem, choose whatever route you want, but now is the time to cut it. Just my 2 cents


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## carryyourbooks (Feb 13, 2009)

michaelbaranowski said:


> It sounds like it might be about time for yall two to get fishing. She is alot less likely to be smoking weed if she is fishing with you.


*THIS!!! *if you were in california though, this would be legal.......just sayin'.


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## iridered2003 (Dec 12, 2005)

is it some good weed? bunk? DRO? if its DRO,smoke it and tell her thanks!


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## iridered2003 (Dec 12, 2005)

make her watch REEFER MADDNESS! she'll never want to smoke that **** again


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## wet dreams (May 21, 2004)

HarborHustler said:


> i would take her out to a local shady bar dive and show her where the pot smokers end up.


Thats good advice, be sure n have a cpl of shots, get really poop-faced soo she can see whats OK and legal to do instead of smoking that devil weed, then take her to the restrooms to see where the alcholics thro up while standing in urine, be sure n stay till closing time so she can see most all drive themself home under the influence of alcohol. Remind her that smoking weed makes you want to kill n rape and jump off high buildings. Good luck which ever way you decide....it could always be worse....WW


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## EATSLEEPFISH (Jun 5, 2007)

Well.... It went well. We found out that a friend gave it to her last summer and she intended to try it but never did. She forgot about it being in her drawer, that's when her older sister found it. The older one is totally against it and is still upset about the whole thing.

I did notice that the stuff was " very " dry and crumbly so I believe her story. She has never lied to us that we know of. I at one time have experimented with it long ago. I was just not prepared to face this with either one of my girls. My son maybe, but not them. All is well! we approached it very lightly and the outcome was good. She answered all questions without hesitation. I do thank all of the input and those of you who posted considerately. 

Just when you think you have it all figured out and have overcome different obstacles, there is always something that will blindside you. Funny how life works.


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## dicky78377 (Jan 19, 2012)

Captmphillips said:


> In when my son was 13 I got custody of him because the ex couldn't handle him. He had a zero average in private school. I am a former Marine, and I had no choice but go Boot Camp on his narrow butt. I took him down and had him drug tested and told him that he would never know when the next one would happen. I caught him sneaking out in the middle of the night and screwed his window shut and removed his bedroom door. The bottom line was he had to earn back his privacy. It worked like a charm. The whole situation almost cost me my marriage but you have to hold your ground. There are very few employers out there that don't drug test. It took him six years but he graduated from Texas Lutheran with a degree in English.


good job.:work:


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

well thier ya go. As for testing in school, thats another thread all together. I think MC should start that one!


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## jewfish (Feb 16, 2005)

*skin contact high*



EATSLEEPFISH said:


> Well.... It went well. We found out that a friend gave it to her last summer and she intended to try it but never did. She forgot about it being in her drawer, that's when her older sister found it. The older one is totally against it and is still upset about the whole thing.
> 
> I did notice that the stuff was " very " dry and crumbly so I believe her story. She has never lied to us that we know of. I at one time have experimented with it long ago. I was just not prepared to face this with either one of my girls. My son maybe, but not them. All is well! we approached it very lightly and the outcome was good. She answered all questions without hesitation. I do thank all of the input and those of you who posted considerately.
> 
> Just when you think you have it all figured out and have overcome different obstacles, there is always something that will blindside you. Funny how life works.


I hope you washed your hands off with a strong antibiotic soap, squeeze some lime juice on them also, as this neutralizes any resins that could potentially seep through the pores of your skin as you to could become influnced to leap tall buildings in a single bound, start seeing daggars and blood, or more common, have unstoppable laughter,untill your sides hurt and then eat everything in the refrigerator in one sitting!!!


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## Dgeddings (Sep 16, 2010)

Glad it went well, my advice this morning was going to be to imitate the first scene of supertroopers 

YOU BOYS LIKE MEXICO!!!!!!!!!!!


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## CaptDocHoliday (Feb 3, 2011)

EATSLEEPFISH said:


> Well.... It went well. We found out that a friend gave it to her last summer and she intended to try it but never did. She forgot about it being in her drawer, that's when her older sister found it. The older one is totally against it and is still upset about the whole thing.
> 
> I did notice that the stuff was " very " dry and crumbly so I believe her story. She has never lied to us that we know of. I at one time have experimented with it long ago. I was just not prepared to face this with either one of my girls. My son maybe, but not them. All is well! we approached it very lightly and the outcome was good. She answered all questions without hesitation. I do thank all of the input and those of you who posted considerately.
> 
> Just when you think you have it all figured out and have overcome different obstacles, there is always something that will blindside you. Funny how life works.


So the older sister ratted the younger out? I'd talk to her too. Not supposed to snitch on your family.

"Snitch's get Stiches"


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## GeauxGet'Er (Jul 15, 2011)

And ummm...what you do with the stuff?

I remember working at a gas station when I was in college, had to pick up trash around the parking lot every evening...one evening I saw a bag that for some reason caught my attention, right by the dumpster...opened it up, saw had 3 Benjamins and a couple sticks of pot...looked around and threw the pot in the trash and kept the 3 Benji's...think that's the closest I ever came to one...lol


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## Bonito (Nov 17, 2008)

CHARLIE said:


> Didnt read all the post just too many but if you have to ask on this board you have a major problem..


Don't listen to Charlie. There has been a lot of good advice here. Love endures all things, heals all things.


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## Bonito (Nov 17, 2008)

Just read your comments on the outcome. Great !!! Sounds like you and your wife are good parents.


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

> when she goes to get it and its not there........hummmmmmmmmm...see what she does or says......


x-2.....Play the hand and wait for the next play!

Respond, DONT react...be cool, ask questions, dont assign blame.... Hold her accountable, but it sounds like you have a good kid there...


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## That Robbie Guy (Aug 11, 2009)

Throw it away - sit down and talk with her.


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Kudos Eatsleepfish, sounds like you did a very good job of handling. A kid on the honor roll and captain of the dance team more than likey will have a good head on their shoulders and are capable of figuring it out on their own. I think good parenting speed it up.
Some of you folks probably shouldn't have kids


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## FishyChef (Jun 22, 2011)

Good Job Eatsleepfish! You handled things well.

I have 2 teenagers at home. They keep us on our toes from time to time!


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## Delocated (Apr 9, 2012)

*Chronic?*

Was it good weed? You might laugh but if it is dirt weed she is probly hanging out with groids and other non-desirables so your concern should be focused at who she is hanging out with.


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## SpeckReds (Sep 10, 2005)

Life will blind side you and usually nothing funny about it. Glad this worked out. Once I had it all together and life was everything I could have wanted it to be. But life threw me a major curve in December of 2005. My little girl(6) died in a tragic accident. Life has been a series of struggles since. Count your blessings. This was a minor bump. Not trying to diminish the event because I too would be very upset to find one of my kids with pot. Just adding some overall perspective. Again glad it worked out. Growing moment for all involved.


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Delocated said:


> Was it good weed? You might laugh but if it is dirt weed she is probly hanging out with groids and other non-desirables so your concern should be focused at who she is hanging out with.


heed this warning. Make sure your child hangs out with the winner kids that can afford the good weed.


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## Timalgrath (Jun 21, 2011)

the trick to get your kids not to smoke pot is to get the right kind of pot the expensive kind where one hit is gonna make you drool all over yourself for a cpl hours then give them a couple of hits first impressions will stop any further curiosity or peer pressure.

i'm serious when i the conversation comes up about pot most people i know said they tried it once but it was way to much for them so they never touched it again

i still say id rather have weed be legal over booze any day. how many people do you hear about taking out innocent people driving while stoned or dying of cancers liver failure ect ect.


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## tboltmike (Jun 21, 2006)

Your daughter is an achiever and wants to accel.

Drug convictions really limit future opportunities. Any career requiring a license or security would be jeapordized.

Praying for you.


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## fangard (Apr 18, 2008)

CaptDocHoliday said:


> So the older sister ratted the younger out? I'd talk to her too. Not supposed to snitch on your family.
> 
> "Snitch's get Stiches"


I flushed my brother's dope down the toilet once. I was so upset with the way his drug use affected my mom, I felt it was the best thing I could do to help out the situation.

They should rat each other out on something like this assuming the ultimate goal was to protect her sister.

Also, it is "Snitches get Stitches"


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## Bobby_G (Jan 1, 2012)

Well, I'm 48...tried it once....got caught....got the absolute **** beat out of me....never tried it again. I DID get the "talk" but it was a few days later when I was coherent lol. I have a 17 year old son and we have discussed drugs and alcohol ad nauseum. Curiosity is a powerful thing....I am sure MOST of us can attest to that....I am just of the mindest that certain "curious adventures" bring about "certain consequences". I have NO idea if my 17 yr old will try pot...hope and pray he doesn't...I am 100% POSITIVE he knows the what the consequences will be...

Hoping it works out for you.....


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## Lone-Star (Dec 19, 2009)

To all those saying pot is no big deal, consider this:

A friend of mine who is(was) also a physician in year 5 of a 5 year residency was fired after failing a random drug test for pot..meaning 4 years of college, 4 years of medical school 1 year internship and 5 years of residency + $300,000 in student loans at 8% interest all down the drain because he had a cavalier attitude about pot. He will most likely never work as a physician again and will be paying off that 300k for the rest of his life.

If you have any intentions of being a doctor or lawyer or anything else licensed by a state, pot is a very big deal.


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## ZenDaddy (May 22, 2004)

CaptDocHoliday said:


> So the older sister ratted the younger out? I'd talk to her too. Not supposed to snitch on your family.
> 
> "Snitch's get Stiches"


Apparently, CaptDocHoliday is leading the thug life. Confusing a "family friendly' board with the GetRichorDietrying lifestyle.


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## drobershaw (Jun 15, 2006)

I'm glad things worked out for you. I actually used this opportunity to sit my 16 year old down and asked her what she thought of the situation. Led to a good conversation and we discussed alot. Thanks for sharing this with us.


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## CHARLIE (Jun 2, 2004)

Gator gar

I certainly do not know everything but I do have a problem with a parent (Father) who has to go public and ask questions on how to deal with a child problem. Jus sayin


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## speckle-catcher (May 20, 2004)

I'm not going to pass judgment on someone asking for advice on how to handle a difficult situation with a child.

nobody's as perfect as you I guess.


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## huntnetime (Jul 23, 2004)

speckle-catcher said:


> I'm not going to pass judgment on someone asking for advice on how to handle a difficult situation with a child.
> 
> nobody's as perfect as you I guess.


x2...


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## mercenarymedic2105 (Jun 8, 2011)

CHARLIE said:


> Gator gar
> 
> I certainly do not know everything but I do have a problem with a parent (Father) who has to go public and ask questions on how to deal with a child problem. Jus sayin


With all due respect Charlie (don't know you, going on the hunch you're probably a good guy), that's a sad outlook. Every parent at some point sought advice on issues that I had no clue how to deal with, and this is no different. I know for me personally parenting has been "trial by fire" because I couldn't use my parents as an example, and I have sought advice on many occasions. The great thing about a place like 2cool is that there is a ton of knowledge and life experience here to draw from for everything from car repair to parenting, and it's a perfect place to find a multitude of answers and get your brain working. Not trying to flame you, just respectfully disagree. MM


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

Lone-Star said:


> To all those saying pot is no big deal, consider this:
> 
> A friend of mine who is(was) also a physician in year 5 of a 5 year residency was fired after failing a random drug test for pot..meaning 4 years of college, 4 years of medical school 1 year internship and 5 years of residency + $300,000 in student loans at 8% interest all down the drain because he had a cavalier attitude about pot. He will most likely never work as a physician again and will be paying off that 300k for the rest of his life.
> 
> If you have any intentions of being a doctor or lawyer or anything else licensed by a state, pot is a very big deal.


Forgive me if you find this offensive...but your friend is a straight up idiot. Based on his decision making ability, it is probably good for the general population that he is no longer practicing medicine.


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## txjustin (Jun 3, 2009)

I say smoke that shat!!! :cheers:


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

JDM1967 said:


> So many answers, yet so many that are so wrong, I found a little pot once in my son's room, well 3 years later 4 rehab facilities 2 of 90 + days, currently going to a drug addiction program on intensive probationetc etc etc $550.000 in medical bills, including a stay for me at ICU for 4 days for a massive heart attack caused by the stress the little pot I found 2 years before but grew into full drug addiction, attempted suicides by ingesting the drugs when we found them, run away on christmas eve etc, I could of nipped it in the butt back at the beggining but we chose to believe that it was just a little pot and trusting all the BS after that, no matter what, POT is a gateway drug, and nowadays pot is not the only issue, you got pills etc when pot doesn't do the trick anymore, careful on how you handle it, but make her understand that she must cut it now before it turns into a bigger problem, choose whatever route you want, but now is the time to cut it. Just my 2 cents


Odds are that your Son was an addict way before he smoked his first joint, took his first drink, or popped his first pill. It was just a matter of time before he was exposed to some type of substance that unleashed the beast. For an addict / alcoholic any drug...weed, pills, alcohol (yes folks...alcohol is a drug), cocaine, etc. is all it takes to start the path of destruction. I've seen first hand the destruction of addiction. I also know many very successful and trustworthy people who like to burn the cheeba from time to time that I call my friends. ANY drug is a gateway drug for an addict. Marijuana is a safe (much safer than the drug alcohol) recreational drug for non addicts. Both of my kids have tried reefer, didn't think it was that big of a deal, & decided that it wasn't worth getting into trouble over. I am very fortunate that they even to this day drink responsibly. I'm sorry your Son is an addict...Prayers for his recovery.


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## txjustin (Jun 3, 2009)

Blk Jck 224 said:


> Odds are that your Son was an addict way before he smoked his first joint, took his first drink, or popped his first pill. It was just a matter of time before he was exposed to some type of substance that unleashed the beast. For an addict / alcoholic any drug...weed, pills, alcohol (yes folks...alcohol is a drug), cocaine, etc. is all it takes to start the path of destruction. I've seen first hand the destruction of addiction. I also know many very successful and trustworthy people who like to burn the cheeba from time to time that I call my friends. ANY drug is a gateway drug for an addict. Marijuana is a safe (much safer than the drug alcohol) recreational drug for non addicts. Both of my kids have tried reefer, didn't think it was that big of a deal, & decided that it wasn't worth getting into trouble over. I am very fortunate that they even to this day drink responsibly. I'm sorry your Son is an addict...Prayers for his recovery.


^^This. People don't understand addiction and have to blame it on something to feel better.


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## fangard (Apr 18, 2008)

CHARLIE said:


> Gator gar
> 
> I certainly do not know everything but I do have a problem with a parent (Father) who has to go public and ask questions on how to deal with a child problem. Jus sayin


I don't have a problem with it at all. I am sure he didn't HAVE to come here, he CHOSE to come here and get additional insight to a problem.

To be honest, I respect the fact that he is admitting he needs some assistance and wants to make the best decision he can.


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

fangard said:


> To be honest, I respect the fact that he is admitting he needs some assistance and wants to make the best decision he can.


X2 :smile:


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## jaycf7 (May 30, 2009)

fangard said:


> I don't have a problem with it at all. I am sure he didn't HAVE to come here, he CHOSE to come here and get additional insight to a problem.
> 
> To be honest, I respect the fact that he is admitting he needs some assistance and wants to make the best decision he can.


Agreed, ...my son is still VERY young but i dont remember him comming with a HOW to Manuel....so why not ask to see if someone else has had experience so you can make and INFORMED decishion....:smile:


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

well said


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## OttoMan (Sep 8, 2011)

I agree with half the comments on here DO NOT over react.
Take it from a 20 year old that has had this happen to them.
My pops caught me smoking some pot when I was 17 didn't yell or over react but he was ******. Kept his cool and basically told me how disappointed he was in me. Hearing the man I look up to most in my life tell me he's never been so disappointed in me, made me never want to let him down again. Keep your cool


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## ANYBDYHERE (Mar 16, 2007)

CHARLIE said:


> Didnt read all the post just too many but if you have to ask on this board you have a major problem..





CHARLIE said:


> Gator gar
> 
> I certainly do not know everything but I do have a problem with a parent (Father) who has to go public and ask questions on how to deal with a child problem. Jus sayin


^^^ You just can't fix STUPID!



fangard said:


> I don't have a problem with it at all. I am sure he didn't HAVE to come here, he CHOSE to come here and get additional insight to a problem.
> 
> To be honest, I respect the fact that he is admitting he needs some assistance and wants to make the best decision he can.





jaycf7 said:


> Agreed, ...my son is still VERY young but i dont remember him comming with a HOW to Manuel....so why not ask to see if someone else has had experience so you can make and INFORMED decishion....:smile:


 Cudos to you guys!


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## fangard (Apr 18, 2008)

Blk Jck 224 said:


> Forgive me if you find this offensive...but your friend is a straight up idiot. Based on his decision making ability, it is probably good for the general population that he is no longer practicing medicine.


We have elected presidents that have done more drugs. Just sayin.


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

fangard said:


> We have elected presidents that have done more drugs. Just sayin.


Yeah...But they didn't inhale. :rybka:


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## fangard (Apr 18, 2008)

Blk Jck 224 said:


> Yeah...But they didn't inhale. :rybka:


We know at least one of the snorted.


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## FREON (Jun 14, 2005)

Yeah.....but they sure sucked


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## DuckMendenhall (Nov 5, 2007)

Stay cool...talk to her about it. I got caught by my mother when I was a senior in high school, she was cool about bc she did it. She told me, if I get caught with it by the police, it would be all mine to deal with. Go over the consequences of being caught with pot, let her know that when she is around people who smoke pot, there is good chance there could be more serious drugs around. *Educate her*. But POT is not a gateway drug, do not listen to that mess, everyone makes their own decisions.

But main thing here, is to be cool, but lay the rules down. Not in your house, on your watch, when she goes off to college, her decision, and her consequences to deal with...

It is a touchy subject, but I would rather have my child smoke a little herb, than enpregnate a teen and become a father before he needs to be...put it this way, I would be more ****** if I caught my child drinking underage than smoking herb!!!!


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## iridered2003 (Dec 12, 2005)




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## Bocephus (May 30, 2008)

fangard said:


> I flushed my brother's dope down the toilet once. I was so upset with the way his drug use affected my mom, I felt it was the best thing I could do to help out the situation.
> 
> They should rat each other out on something like this assuming the ultimate goal was to protect her sister.
> 
> Also, it is "Snitches get Stitches"


And grammar N A Z I's are anal retentive


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## txjoker (Jun 21, 2005)




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## Doubleover (Jul 7, 2005)

EATSLEEPFISH - Have you smoked it yet?


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## CaptDocHoliday (Feb 3, 2011)

The point being, siblings shouldn't tattle tale on their kin. Blood is the strongest bond of all, and you should always have your borther (or sisters) back. I have a couple of sisters who never learned that, and we haven't talked in years. I understand that all parents want to know all the details of their kids life, but the deeper you pry the better they find ways to conceal the truth. Been there, done that. Turking your kids into spy's agianst one another not only hurts your relationship with them, but hurts their relationship with each other.

Now if she was snorting coke or skipping school to get into mischif (risk of doing personal harm) then talking with you parents is warranted. But finding her stash and tattle-telling is no bueno. I learned this a long time ago when I found my brothers nudi-mag's and told my mom. She flipped out, my brother woudn't do anything with me, and my dad explained this all to me.

And forgive the shotty grammar. I was always better with numbers....



fangard said:


> I flushed my brother's dope down the toilet once. I was so upset with the way his drug use affected my mom, I felt it was the best thing I could do to help out the situation.
> 
> They should rat each other out on something like this assuming the ultimate goal was to protect her sister.
> 
> Also, it is "Snitches get Stitches"


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## mastercylinder60 (Dec 18, 2005)

drug addiction is a disease with a strong genetic component. it can happen to anyone and should in no way be viewed as an indicator of one's character. drug addiction is a mental disorder, not a voluntary act of willful misconduct.

a few strong ones can overcome addiction, but for most, it is sadly a lifelong onus. all of you self-professed christians should live by what your bible teaches in matthew 7:1. 

he who lives in a glass house should not throw stones.


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## mastercylinder60 (Dec 18, 2005)

and, furthermore, marijuana is no more of a "gateway drug" than eating three meals a day is a gateway to becoming obese.


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Never bought the disease thing. Gentic yep. Like brown eyed folks tend to have brown eyed kids
Back in the 70's smoking weed was a rite of passage. I have a hard time with all the holier then thou types. Very few folks that have explored life at all can honestly say they haven't experimented. Truth is weed makes most people stupid, paranoid, and lazy. Tends to lower the appeal.


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## Bozo (Jun 16, 2004)

I smoked it once and next thing I knew, I was stealing cars to support my doritos habit. It's bad ju ju man.


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## iridered2003 (Dec 12, 2005)

whos got to balls to step up and say they smoke now?


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Iridered2003 does


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## bill (May 21, 2004)

iridered2003 said:


> whos got to balls to step up and say they smoke now?


bet a lot of people where it's legal...but it's not legal here

unicorns have killed more people than pot


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## molddaddy (Apr 27, 2010)

CaptDocHoliday said:


> Speaking in generalities, cannabis is not a big deal. There is sound science (not to mention hundred's of years of anecdoctal evidence) that it is less harmful than tobacco or alcohol on one's body. It was originally criminalized as a tool law enforcement could use to go after mexican and oriental immigrants back in the 1800's, and mis-information put out largly by our government has kept these archane laws on the books. Cannabis is natural and wholesome, and is less "processed" than 99% of the other consumer products you put in your body. The only real reason I see that it is being kept on the black list is because of bad information put out by the DEA and the pharmaceutical industry trying to keep their strangle hold on the drugs they can control (if pot became legal, various other drug revenues would dip).
> 
> I had a buddy in college get busted growing a few small plants in his dorm room. Probation for 1 year with monthly wiz-quiz's was all he got, and after the probation was up his record was expunged. I know for fact that he never quit smoking during all of this, and was passing his monthly tests by simply quitting for up to a week before and drinking ton's of water. Tests are very flawed, and totally beatable. In the following years, he grew his own for personal use (with success this time), and to my knowledge he still 'partakes in the sacrament'. I believe he earned over $100k last year, so it clearly isn't detrementally impacting his success (if that is how you would measure success).
> 
> Regardless of how anyone tells you, I'd urge you to 1) do your own research before confronting her, and 2) be willing to try it if you haven't before. Just my $0.02. It's your house, so it's your rules. Good luck.


All the reasearch in the world wont make it LEGAL.... If she is caught at school she get to go to a "special" school and that honor role student wont be getting into the collleges she may have planed to attend. All this " hey pot won't hurt you" advice is ****. What good does it do? Heres the harm it can do, THOUSANDS of dollars in legal fees if caught driving with it, what about where she is buying it? Not the most upstanding citizens out there selling it and **** SURE not who I want around my DAUGHTER. *** are you people thinking "it never hurt anybody".... How many people have been killed in bad drug deals? And don't tell me otherwise cause I was in law enforcement dealing with drug trafficking and people die. And if she is not old enough to drink why would it be ok for her to use some other mind altering drug. The world is a hard enough place to navigate thru without a foggy mind.


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## bill (May 21, 2004)

molddaddy said:


> All the reasearch in the world wont make it LEGAL.... If she is caught at school she get to go to a "special" school and that honor role student wont be getting into the collleges she may have planed to attend. All this " hey pot won't hurt you" advice is ****. What good does it do? Heres the harm it can do, THOUSANDS of dollars in legal fees if caught driving with it, what about where she is buying it? Not the most upstanding citizens out there selling it and **** SURE not who I want around my DAUGHTER. *** are you people thinking "it never hurt anybody".... How many people have been killed in bad drug deals? And don't tell me otherwise cause I was in law enforcement dealing with drug trafficking and people die. And if she is not old enough to drink why would it be ok for her to use some other mind altering drug. The world is a hard enough place to navigate thru without a foggy mind.


people are not saying it's ok, people are saying there are much worse things that could happen (besides, the things you listed are because of laws, not pot). I hope you share the same passion with people who drink and people who get prescriptions (chances are you will be in a vehicle wreck with one of them before someone who is doing pot)

this is a great topic if you care to debate it in the jungle

back to the topic, you have been given advise on both sides, I hope you consider them all and do what's best for your family


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## tunchistheman (Feb 25, 2010)

Drunks run red lights. Stoners sit at stop signs waiting for them to turn green.


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## RedXRunner (Dec 21, 2009)

I went through that phase. It makes me sleepy now.


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## Snake (Aug 5, 2005)

dont hide it light it


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

poppadawg said:


> Never bought the disease thing.


You can buy whatever you want. It sounds to me like you need to get informed. The fact of the matter is that this is what it is has been professionally classified as. Addiction was taught to me as being a disease when I was in nursing school 20+ years ago. Think of it this way...People with the disease of diabetes cannot ingest complex carbohydrates or sugar or it will cause hyperglycemia resulting in renal failure, blindness, peripheral vascular disease, and eventually death. People with the disease of hypertention cannot ingest salt as it will cause their blood pressure to soar setting them up for a potential aneurysm or stroke. People with the disease of congestive heart failure cannot ingest excessive fluids as it will cause cardiomegaly, left ventricular failure, & eventually death. *Addicts cannot ingest drugs of any type as it will lead to jails, institutions, & eventually death. *It is a cunning, powerful, & progressive disease in their brain that constantly tries to convince them that they don't really have a disease.


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## cgmorgan06 (Aug 30, 2008)

iridered2003 said:


> whos got to balls to step up and say they smoke now?


I have been around it qutie a bit. Little bit it high school, and then quite a bit in college. Had it offered to me numerous times. I can honestly say Ive never tried it nor do I have the slightest desire to do so.

I did drink my share of beer when I was underage though. But then again, who didnt? :brew2:


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

cgmorgan06 said:


> I have been around it qutie a bit. Little bit it high school, and then quite a bit in college. Had it offered to me numerous times. I can honestly say Ive never tried it nor do I have the slightest desire to do so.
> 
> I did drink my share of beer when I was underage though. But then again, who didnt? :brew2:


I would much rather have roasted a fatty than drink alcohol to cop a buzz when I was in my early 20's...Jus Sayin.


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## therealbigman (Jul 14, 2010)

iridered2003 said:


> whos got to balls to step up and say they smoke now?


How appetizing does this look RED . :dance:


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## Gary (May 21, 2004)

:biggrin:


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## DANO (May 23, 2005)

:biggrin:
X2 !

Looks like "Trinity Green"


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## King Ding-A-Ling (May 28, 2010)

I have my masters have been smokin pot since high school. About once every two or three days. I could easily quit if I wanted but since there's no negative side effects, I won't. It's a stress reliever and it saves me from cigs and too much wiskey


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## 535 (May 23, 2004)

I don't smoke it anymore but have a friend that has owned his own business for over 20 years and does over $10,000,000.00 sales per year for the last 10 years... he smokes daily AFTER work... I know another trial lawyer, one of the smartest guys ever... smoked chronically from sun-up until bedtime... extremely successful and productive... had a cousin who was a dentist and smoker... he churned it up in homemade peanut butter and took it to the Swiss Alps for the family ski trip every year back in the 70's... I know one chef that graduated from CIA and has been pretty successful, smokes daily in lieu of taking meds for anxiety... have known several "high-end" carpenters that specialized in custom remodels that smoked daily... have a good friend that has bachelors and 2 master degrees and smokes like a fiend... managed the sales office for a small oil field supply company before going back to school to teach... has been a teacher for over 10 years and never misses a day gets great reviews, etc... 

that being said, I consider all of these folks to be anomolies as most of us can't function to capacity while stoned... its weird, but the medicinal properties of marijuana allows certain high acheivers the calmness and focus to perform while pharmaceuticals designed to do the same thing makes them jelly-headed zombies

in a perfect world these people would need neither pot or any other medicine

to the OP, great outcome, congrats!


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