# funny things u have seen guides do??



## Aggie87 (Jun 2, 2010)

This is not about bashing guides or anything. Thought it would be a good laugh to hear some of the bloopers u have seen guides make. The bill dance bloopers are hilarious and got me thinking.

My family took a trip down to south padre a few years ago and we went out on a guide. The entire time he preached safety first and to take our time doing things. Well it was a slow day of fishing so he made a phone call and heard where the reds were running so we took off. The 1st spot we stopped at we through out and hooked a nice red. The guide got so excited he rared back to throw his cork and hooked several rods that were in the rod holder and **** near through them out the boat. He had to feel embarrassed after preaching to us all day. It was a good laugh though

lets hear some of yalls. I left out the guides name on purpose.


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## crabtrap (Apr 24, 2005)

Airboat guide, didn't quite shut his truck door tight enough, fired up the motor to jockey the boat aside the dock, yelled to everyone that he was going to make wind, and...you guessed it. Dang near ripped the drivers door off its hinges as it swung really wide open lol


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## CRGR (Sep 8, 2014)

Fished with a great guide last year down in poco area. He whipped out his nice bait caster and rod to fish a little too. Laid it on the deck to help someone with a tangle. Huge red slammed him and the rod flew off the deck into the water 90 to nothin. Without even thinking he jumped right in (thigh deep water) and started feeling around for it on the bottom for about 20 minutes as far as 50 yards away from the boat. Never found it.


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## hoosierplugger (May 24, 2004)

Years ago, had a guide down in Baffin stick his boat on a flat, we broke his push pole in half trying to get it unstuck. After getting it unstuck we lost the motor and had to call some of his buddies to get towed in. He earned his keep that day and put us on some nice trout.


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## bubbas kenner (Sep 4, 2010)

Buy croakers by the gross.


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## ccketchum (Oct 18, 2010)

got to the ramp to meet guide . asked fella at the ramp , he pointed me to a man standing at the rear of his boat watching water pour out . yep , he forgot plug . turned out to be a great guide and a good trip .


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## SolarScreenGuy (Aug 15, 2005)

This was on a duck hunt in the boggiest marsh I've ever been in. Hunt was terrific ( everyone limited) and we tried to help our guide pick up the decoys. One in our group, being inexperienced, got the decoy lines and weights so tangled, it looked like the worst fishing backlash you could imagine. Our guide went ballistic with curse words you can't imagine. I could not help from laughing and it went downhill from there.
www.solarscreenguys.com


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## fritz423 (Jul 4, 2015)

Coolest thing I saw a guide do was Mike Gibbs out of Port A. In the early '90s.

Me and my people waaaaay overdid it and didn't get up til 08:00 for a 06:30 trip. We got to the dock and of course, no Cap'n. We were hungover and feeling like idiots when some guy heard us talking and suggested we call him.

We did and he drove back to the dock and took us out for a great day. He never gave us any **** and he was the only guide we used for years after.


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## texasislandboy (Apr 28, 2012)

ccketchum said:


> got to the ramp to meet guide . asked fella at the ramp , he pointed me to a man standing at the rear of his boat watching water pour out . yep , he forgot plug . turned out to be a great guide and a good trip .


 guilty...... long nights and early mornings make for hell on the mind.


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## reelthreat (Jul 11, 2006)

Right when the calais first came out an ex-girlfriend bought me one for a gift. I was out with a guide and backlashed it a few times getting used to it. I finally got it dialed in 2 brakes out and he kept saying "with that reel you don't need any brakes out". I told him if he could cast it with no brakes he could keep it, if not my trip was free. He took the bet and backlashed the **** out of it.... I had to cut my line out, it was that bad.


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## 4 Ever-Fish N (Jun 10, 2006)

I got a guide for my son and I on the Sabine above Toledo Bend. Backed the boat down in the water and the motor would not turn over, dead battery. In his defense, he had been out of town for a week or so and had not had a chance to check things out.


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## reelthreat (Jul 11, 2006)

Another time a buddy of mine was running a tournament but he wanted to fish... we had to get back early so he hired a guide so we didn't have to mess with the boat. The guide was having a bad day and couldn't put us on fish. I told him to stop by one of my honey holes, a place that had heavy structure. He kept telling me he grew up one this bay and there is no structure where I was leading him. It got to the point were he was seriously mad. I told him to put out the anchor or stop because he was going to hit it. He stuck by his guns swearing there was no structure... yep he hit it and about tore his lower unit off. Even after running it over we still caught several nice trout and reds.

I never really fished that bay much so I really didn't care if I gave my spot away. He said he didn't mark the spot but a couple months later I pulled right up on him (and his customers) on the spot, lol.


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## H2OhMan (Aug 11, 2013)

Arranged last minute guide out of Port Aransas to bay fish with my sisters. We wanted to wade fish but guide was very explicit that wading was NOT an option. We waded for about an hour while waiting for another boat to pull us off of a sandbar. Never say never.


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## BluewaterBandido (Oct 24, 2012)

I'm not a guide but have respectable friends that do guide. I believe the other side "funny things customers do" would be WAY more entertaining.


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## Friendswoodmatt (Feb 22, 2005)

Fishing Mansfield one year with McTrout and we stopped to wade pretty dang close to a guy--miles of open water around us-- the guy was sitting in his boat and let us all get a good ways from our boat, then fired his boat up and did 2 figure 8's right in front of us.
McBride looked at us and said "Hey you think I was too close?" Uh yea I think so!
LOL


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## H2OhMan (Aug 11, 2013)

BluewaterBandido said:


> I'm not a guide but have respectable friends that do guide. I believe the other side "funny things customers do" would be WAY more entertaining.


I would buy that book.


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## Outearly (Nov 17, 2009)

With a guide in Calcasieu, pulled up to another boat, the guide on the other boat called over and asked if we had pliers on our boat. He then turned to show us a mirrolure - and all of those trebles- buried in his thigh, right next to his crotch.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## texasislandboy (Apr 28, 2012)

BluewaterBandido said:


> I'm not a guide but have respectable friends that do guide. I believe the other side "funny things customers do" would be WAY more entertaining.


haha I never thought about that. I kinda want to write down a few trips. I had a guy on one charter break 3 rods. Two allstar classic's and a castaway custom... his jaw hit the ground when he got the bill.


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## TB4-2 (Jun 22, 2006)

Out with the T-Express many years ago - at the end of the north jetty...he was unhooking a hard head and it stuck him in the hand. He bled a bit then laid down and passed out. We were pretty young and didn't have much experience driving a boat, especially a big whaler. After about an hour of us staring at him, we started to pull anchor and give it a shot. He woke up and shook it off and we kept fishing. Pretty Funny.


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## fishin shallow (Jul 31, 2005)

Friendswoodmatt said:


> Fishing Mansfield one year with McTrout and we stopped to wade pretty dang close to a guy--miles of open water around us-- the guy was sitting in his boat and let us all get a good ways from our boat, then fired his boat up and did 2 figure 8's right in front of us.
> McBride looked at us and said "Hey you think I was too close?" Uh yea I think so!
> LOL


Dang and he still hasn't learned.


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## Ox Eye (Dec 17, 2007)

The wife and I were on Calcasieu with a guide out of Hackberry. We'd had a good day and was headed back a little early when the guide said, "Eyes forward, I gotta take a leak." He had the boat at a fast idle forward as he climbed up on the transom. We were sitting at the bow and a sizable boat had crossed in front creating a fast coming wake bearing down on us. I hollered. "Hang on!" just before we hit the wake. I looked back and he had come back down several feet behind the boat. So, I had to commandeer the boat, swing it around and go back to drag him out of the drink.

Apparently he was grateful, as he filleted our catch at no charge.


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## LA Wader (Oct 22, 2013)

> I'm not a guide but have respectable friends that do guide. I believe the other side "funny things customers do" would be WAY more entertaining.


Kinda what I was thinking! I have seen some funny things over the years!


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## troutsupport (May 22, 2006)

BluewaterBandido said:


> I'm not a guide but have respectable friends that do guide. I believe the other side "funny things customers do" would be WAY more entertaining.


 Im not a guide either and I agree. X2.

I will say this.. Capt Ernest Cisneros and Capt Chuck Uzzle have probably been the 2 most entertaining guides I've ever been with. Had me cracking up the and rolling with laughter the whole time. Another, was Les Cobb in Baffin, he had some stories about his and Craig West's clients over the year.


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## TexasCajun (Jun 29, 2006)

Once I traveled to Baffin for a 2 day trip with a local guide. Went out the first day, did ok. Went back to the house, and didn't hear from him again. Later found out he stayed out all night at a gentlemen's club and couldn't make it for day 2. . . total bs when you have a trip booked. 

I have been out with guides on a handful of occasions, and have had overwhelmingly bad experiences, although, I'm sure there's some good ones out there. I have other crazy stories, but that would turn my post into guide bashing.


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## PiratesRun (Jun 23, 2004)

Years ago I was crossing Aransas Bay heading back to Key Alegro and came upon a disabled boat. Turned out it was guided trip that ran out of gas. I got a good laugh and some free fish out of it.


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## Trouthappy (Jun 12, 2008)

One captain ran his boat right up on the POC jetty in foggy weather, with clients on board. He claimed somebody moved the Coast Guard channel buoys on him. I heard he had to retire from guiding. I used to hang out a little with Plaag and company. Their two favorite sayings were, "Ain't that some nasty sh__?" And also: "Here comes the nightmare people." Meaning other boats.


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## Bird_Dog (Apr 7, 2008)

Had a trip booked to Baffin for my 10yr old son with a pretty well know guide. Said to meet him at Bird Island at 6:30am but he never showed. acll him numerous times but no answer. Found out later in the day from a friend that he spent the night in the luxurious Aransas county jail.


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## greenhornet (Apr 21, 2010)

Drift right up on a wader (well within a cast) and do more griping than the wader and then let customer apologize for them.


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## TAMUGfisher12 (Mar 31, 2009)

Had a goose guide crawl around in a field of stubble for 10-15 minutes looking for goose poop. We mocked him all morning about being on poop patrol.


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## EIGHTSKATE (Feb 19, 2016)

Fishing with guide out of Rockport. He was heading back to spot in California Hole that we had picked up some Reds earlier as he cut the motor and was gliding to the spot he stepped to rear of boat. Mother in Law went to set down on the front deck as she had been doing the guide eased the anchor out I realized what was about to happen but it was to late the anchor took hold and the boat did a 90 degree turn and she went over the backward like a scuba diver her legs kicking in the air like a puddle duck.
Wife and I were about to go in after her when I realized she could stand.
Looked back at guide and he was baiting hooks with a shocked look on his face we all laughed and told him Father in Law will tip him extra and he did.


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## Ready.Fire.Aim (Sep 22, 2009)

Went out of Sargent this February to fish East Matagorda with a noted large trout guide to catch whoppers. 

To our surprise we instead made a very long high speed run via Gulf of Mexico in his Shallowsport to Baffin Bay, he said there aren't any large trout in East Matagorda!!!!!! 

And to our chagrin, all the guides in Matagorda apparently already know that. 

Caught several nice 30" trout and had our photo posted on 2Cool. Enjoyed the boat ride.


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## JimD (May 25, 2004)

That is a long run just one way. Google has it at a minimum of 130 NM one way plus fishing.


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## Tortuga (May 21, 2004)

Gotta go a long ways back on this one. When I was probably about 12 and my brother was 10 our Dad took us down to Port Aransas for our first duck hunt with his great guide, Swede Swanson. Down there they ran their skiffs into boat blinds and we shot out of the boat. Swede was a little nervous about us two kids and he was filling us with gun safety talk as we waited for first light. As soon as it was open to shoot, he bent over and told us to hush up. He started calling and a nice bunch of ducks were settling into our decoys. He said "Now" and we all four raised up to take our shots.. Now..Swede hunted with an old 12 ga pump..and as the ducks were hovering over the spread..he pumped his gun...and POWIEEE..it went off. Luckily he had his gun pointed down when he did it and the shot went right thru the bottom of the skiff.. Scared the hell out of all of us...especially HIM..He pumped his gun and took the spent shell and it fit exactly in the hole in the bottom of his skiff.. Dad asked him if it was tight enough to keep water out until we got back where it could be fixed properly.. Swede told him that he was NEVER gonna pull that shell out...it was gonna stay there forever to remind him there is no such thing as too much gun safety..LOL... and this was a guide with decades of experience who had shot thousands of ducks.


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## Nwilkins (Jan 18, 2009)

Showed up at Bird island Ramp with Arsola 10 years ago or so back,, got out of the truck, throwing on my waders and transferring rods from truck to boat and reggae music started playing out of the speakers from the boat,, I looked at Jesse and he just shrugged his shoulders 

Boy I miss him


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## Kingofsabine18 (Oct 29, 2008)

Wading South shore line on Sabine. Watching a boat pull slowly into a spot by a reef taking his time and here comes a pretty reputable guide service full boar and blasts in where that boat was headed powerpoles down about 15 yards in front of the boat! First boat is of course ********** and lets the guide have it and they are bickering back and forth and the customers are just sitting there in shock and visibly embarrassed. Guide gets his customers fishing and first boat moves a little bit away and starts fishing. I thought it was all over till I start hearing some moaning and very intriguing noises. I'll be danged if first boat turned on some **** on their phones and started blaring it on their boat speakers. It was one of the funniest things I have truly ever experienced on the water. 

PS: I have nothing against guides and that really is a rare case from I have seen out of ours up here. I have some good friends that are great guides and people.


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## Aggie87 (Jun 2, 2010)

troutsupport said:


> Im not a guide either and I agree. X2.
> 
> I will say this.. Capt Ernest Cisneros and Capt Chuck Uzzle have probably been the 2 most entertaining guides I've ever been with. Had me cracking up the and rolling with laughter the whole time. Another, was Les Cobb in Baffin, he had some stories about his and Craig West's clients over the year.


How many times did he tell yall to get the "LOFT" out of your line?
He is a fun guy to fish with for sure. We went with him last year and he kept telling us to get the loft out our line and i had know idea what he was meaning until he told us. That was a mistake because the tables turned and he kept missing fish on topwater so we gave him hell the rest of the day. WE also ended up catching 2 snook and he swore up and down it was the wrong time of year and there was no snook in there. My brother told him he had one on and Ernest said u got a red son there are none in yet. Man did his expression change when he held that thing up. Was a fun trip for sure. Great guide and i hope to go with him again.


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## Shin-Diggin (Jun 17, 2005)

One of them Silver King guides had the case of the #2 blues on the water. He just held on to the out board and did his business twice. Blamed it on the coffee at the yacht basin.


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## Tortuga (May 21, 2004)

Brought to mind another story about Swede..our Guide for thirty years down at Port Aransas..Swede was probably about 40 or so when I met him.. Good lookin' tall fella.. looked like he coulda been in the movies.. But this is about his wife, Jean.. Jean was one of those gals who was always laughing and fun to be around. She tipped the scales at probably around 300 pounds...not what you would expect Swede to have picked...but he DID love that gal..

He always stressed that she was "the best fish and game cook in the whole USA" and more importantly..".she could gut and pick a duck in less than one minute flat.". Thought he was stretching it a little until I seen her do it probably a thousand times over the years...

Finest couple of folks I ever met in my life..as you can imagine since I can recall and picture all of this in my mind....and this was all 75 years ago....

RIP , Swede and Jean... Hope there's a slew of Tarpon and Mallards up there where you are now.


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## WineyFishrman (Aug 5, 2011)

Went out several years ago with a guide to Baffin, I had to set up our group since I was the guy that spent all my time fishing and the group were a bunch of "suits".
We had a great day, heading back in the Simmons with a 250 Pro XS, the guide decided to open it up..... well I knew better and was behind the leaning post, while the black fella was sitting on the seat in front of the console,, and it was 2 to 3 foot and blowing,,,,,,, the boat hit a wave just right at about 60mph, hit and yanked hard left. The black fella? We saw his size 12 white Adidas in the air,, he hit hard in the boat but was ok. Scared the sheet out of our guide.
For a year we kept telling him the guy was having back problems and hiring a team of law dogs to sue him for everything,,, we were just joshing,, still laugh about it when we meet up.


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## Kyle 1974 (May 10, 2006)

Ready.Fire.Aim said:


> Went out of Sargent this February to fish East Matagorda with a noted large trout guide to catch whoppers.
> 
> To our surprise we instead made a very long high speed run via Gulf of Mexico in his Shallowsport to Baffin Bay, he said there aren't any large trout in East Matagorda!!!!!!
> 
> ...


300 mile roundtrip offshore run in a shallowsport on a one day trip?

hmmmm.......


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## Winters97gt (Jun 20, 2013)

Last year, I went out fishing like I do most weeks. I drive down to SPI around midnight from Houston and launch my boat with no sleep from the work week. I forgot to put the plugs in my boat. After about 2 hours of drifting, I noticed my boat struggling to get up on plane in 18 inches of water, which is typically when I like to get up in my tunnel V without sucking mud/sand up. So I looked in my dry storage where I WD40 my plugs and was like F it. Fishing was slow, had 3 trout, no reds, so loaded the boat back up on a private ramp.

Took about 20-25 minutes to drain the water out. During that time, I get a call from a guide buddy that is a few miles north of Cullen's House/Gaswell area. His 2nd new lower unit on his Yami 150 is out and he's got 5 clients on his 24 Carolina Skiff. Obviously, as a friend and fishing partner, I don't hesitate. Put the plugs in, and go WOT at 45 mph up north about 12 miles. Had his passengers jump on, and towed him back.



Now after that long tow, I decide to go back out and finish fishing. On the way back in, I find a Jon Boat struggling in the middle of the Brownsville Channel. Definitely a dangerous spot. So I stopped, offered assitance, and towed them back in. Not smart being where they were.



So I get them back in, and decide to go hit my bar, Coconuts on the island. Before I could come out of the Port Isabel Fingers, a **** Winter Texan had stuck his boat on the sand bar right behind John Mcafee's mansion. A guy with his grandson not much older than me. You can tell on no sleep, my patience is wearing thin.





So after all this, I make it to the island in my little private spot at Coconuts to park my boat, and crack open a beer. Not 2 minutes later, a captain, who I know but don't really respect, came down all the way from the north end of the island on foot. He had waded across the bar that runs parallel to the island, than swam that 30-40 yards or so in the cut for deep boats. He ran up on ground. He walked in Coconuts soaking wet and asked if anybody had a boat to tow him. Everybody at the bar was laughing and cracking up since they knew the day I had, and pointed to me. So he jumped on my boat, and I towed him in too.



I no longer get heckled by my buddies with Yamis in STX for having a Merc


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## W.W. (Jan 20, 2015)

Kyle 1974 said:


> 300 mile roundtrip offshore run in a shallowsport on a one day trip?
> 
> hmmmm.......


 Hmmmm..... would have been a better story if they could have caught a Cobia in Baffin after than run.


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## SSST (Jun 9, 2011)

We hired a guide out of Rockport once, this was probably mid 90's, meet him at the ramp and load up. We head out toward our first spot, me and another guy standing behind the guide notice something is rank and just kinda laugh it off. Sure enough, we stop, start soaking croakers and he lets out a big wet sloppy fart. Just says, sorry guys, had a long night at the bar, lol. Well, lucky for him, he had the right guys in the boat, we had a 120 full of beer and we started hammering them after that. One buddy of mine is a professional **** talker, every time one of us would miss one he would be all over us, well we needed about 10 more to get our 50 (could count guides fish back then) so he started fishing, he missed more than we did and we f'd with that poor guy so bad all he could do was laugh. Just still have to laugh at that day, guy met us 10 mins and was done ripping them like it was no big deal.


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## ATE_UP_FISHERMAN (Jun 25, 2004)

Ready.Fire.Aim said:


> Went out of Sargent this February to fish East Matagorda with a noted large trout guide to catch whoppers.
> 
> To our surprise we instead made a very long high speed run via Gulf of Mexico in his Shallowsport to Baffin Bay, he said there aren't any large trout in East Matagorda!!!!!!
> 
> ...


It was a Transport..


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## ATE_UP_FISHERMAN (Jun 25, 2004)

I could tell some stories but I would be in big trouble...


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## Kyle 1974 (May 10, 2006)

W.W. said:


> Hmmmm..... would have been a better story if they could have caught a Cobia in Baffin after than run.


do I have a cobia story in baffin for you...


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## Ripin' Lips (Jul 3, 2012)

two years ago fishing seadrift. Launched at O'dark thirty. As soon as we cleared the "harbor" the guide went WOT. As we were running I see a little bit of grass on the starboard side in beam of his nav lights. As soon as I realized what was about to happen it was too late. We hit the island doing 30mph plus and slid 3/4 across the island. As soon as the boat slid to a stop, the guide ran to the front of the boat, heaved the anchor overboard and said "we're here". OK that last part was a lie, he didn't say that. He just asked if we were okay, but the story is better with the line so it stays.


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## Ripin' Lips (Jul 3, 2012)

here are the pics


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## EIGHTSKATE (Feb 19, 2016)

Dang will SeaTow come if your on dry land.


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## Trouthappy (Jun 12, 2008)

Wow. Sign me up with that guy...Looks like he never touched the throttle until the boat stopped.


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## V-Bottom (Jun 16, 2007)

Bring in illegal fish to my weigh stations


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## Kyle 1974 (May 10, 2006)

V-Bottom said:


> Bring in illegal fish to my weigh stations


yeah, that depends on the measuring stick, and how much the fish are contorted. I've argued with more than one weigh master.


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## V-Bottom (Jun 16, 2007)

My stick is Certified w/ serial # and papers (GEI International,Inc.) No body argues w/ me. I've had one issue since 1999


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## BFI (Jan 11, 2006)

Went on a trip and took a greenhorn buddy. Had forwarned the guide to give him plenty of space or he might end up with a hook in him. Got into a group of birds, things got frantic and then I here and see someone in aggonie. Its my buddy who got wrapped upside the head with a jig head. No one had to pull it out as the power cast took care of that. We have the greenhorn a couple more beers and some Tylenol and when the bleeding finally stopped he was good to go. We gave the guide absolute he'll the rest of the day and on the next couple of trips we asked if we should bring our helmets.


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## chugbug1120 (Apr 24, 2013)

We use to fish with a guide down in Rockport (Scott Jones) swore Copano Bay belonged to him and everyone else fishing the bay was a pudknocker. We became tired of the old comment when we would load in his boat" should have been here yesterday" He would always tell us that so that when he couldn't put us on the fish we would understand we should have fished a day earlier. We decided to turn the tables on him our last trip, he had us meet him at the old duck inn in Rockport where he would eat breakfast with a couple of the other guides. The three of us walked in wearing oversized waders, deep sea fishing rod and reels in our hands and several boxes of tv bait shrimp. I hollered out we supposed to meet Scott Jones here. He got up walked past us and walked out the door, The waitress looked at me and said I guess he is ready to go! The last trip was the best trip.


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## D HOGG (Jul 2, 2012)

Nwilkins said:


> Showed up at Bird island Ramp with Arsola 10 years ago or so back,, got out of the truck, throwing on my waders and transferring rods from truck to boat and reggae music started playing out of the speakers from the boat,, I looked at Jesse and he just shrugged his shoulders
> 
> Boy I miss him


You and me both .!.! 
So many crazy adventures with ole Larry Lydro over the years ....


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## divequeen (Jan 19, 2016)

*Guide Under Arrest!*

Fishing out of POC with a guide that got a call that he needed to turn himself him....a warrant was issued for his arrest.....Seems he had gotten into a rig rag over a duck hunting blind. He told the officer he had clients out fishing...so they let him finish out our trip, before arresting him! Crazy!


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## marshhunter (Mar 20, 2008)

divequeen said:


> Fishing out of POC with a guide that got a call that he needed to turn himself him....a warrant was issued for his arrest.....Seems he had gotten into a rig rag over a duck hunting blind. He told the officer he had clients out fishing...so they let him finish out our trip, before arresting him! Crazy!


Hahahaha been fishing with him before!!! Dang funny guide! Have never had a bad trip with him!


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## Mont (Nov 17, 1998)

Back when I used to trailer mine, I saw guys in theirs back down the ramp to discover the batteries were dead. They pulled it out of the water, had another guy come with his truck to jump it off. Twin engine boat. They got it jumped off, ran it for a while, and still running backed it back into the water. About the time the first guy got back from parking the truck, the high temp alarms went off on both engines. The guy that was driving the boat told the other one to go back and get the truck, the engines weren't going to run. He didn't use those exact words, lol. Since they all had badges and guns, none of us said anything about them frying the water pumps after they jumped it off out of the water. They used the same mechanic I did back then, and I talked to the mechanic a couple of weeks later. He said he wondered why it came back with two fried pumps after he had just serviced it.


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## RRfisher (Mar 5, 2007)

Aggie87 said:


> This is not about bashing guides or anything. Thought it would be a good laugh to hear some of the bloopers u have seen guides make. The bill dance bloopers are hilarious and got me thinking.
> 
> My family took a trip down to south padre a few years ago and we went out on a guide. The entire time he preached safety first and to take our time doing things. Well it was a slow day of fishing so he made a phone call and heard where the reds were running so we took off. The 1st spot we stopped at we through out and hooked a nice red. The guide got so excited he rared back to throw his cork and hooked several rods that were in the rod holder and **** near through them out the boat. He had to feel embarrassed after preaching to us all day. It was a good laugh though
> 
> lets hear some of yalls. I left out the guides name on purpose.


If your guide was fishing by phone, it had to be in Rockport.


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## atcfisherman (Oct 5, 2006)

I was fishing off of Dows reef one morning about 10 years ago and catching some nice trout under some birds diving when a guide pulled within 50 feet of my boat and in between me and the birds. He was in a 24' kenner. I asked him why he pulled this close to me and in between me and the birds. His reply was, "I have clients that I need to put on fish." I was in disbelief!


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## Mr. Saltwater (Oct 5, 2012)

Funniest thing I ever saw was on a duck hunt with Gene Campbell in the 70's. There were 5 of us and his dog in a 16' jonboat running down a narrow canal in the dark when he said "Ya'll duck down and hold on...we're gonna jump this levee". He gave it full throttle and lifted the motor at the last second before we went over it. Did it again on the way back.


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## wennis1 (Nov 5, 2008)

I used to fish in Galveston with a guide by the name of CT Seims. He used to talk to the fish. "fishy fishy in the bay, come on over CTs way." or "Come on fish don't waste no time, jump right here on CTs line". Pretty funny. We always had a blast with him.


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## DA REEL DADDY (Jun 7, 2005)

A pango guide in Cabo. At first he said his English was not too good. Then a pelican came floating by and he went on and on how the pelican stalks him everyday. He kept talking trash about how the pelican floats around his boat and harasses him.

I don't think he was crazy, he was just kind of a comedian. Kept my son and his best friend (they were 18 ish) laughing.


I would post some of the things he was saying about the pelican, but this is a G rated forum and I am trying not to use certain words.


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## Captain Marty (Jul 14, 2006)

*Guide Jumps Jetties*

Well this incident is not funny, but yesterday a local guide missed the boat cut on the Louisiana side of the Sabine jetties. I'm not going to mention his name but he has been guiding on Sabine Lake most of his life. The tide was real high and he mistaken the cut by about 200 yards. Luckily no one was hurt, but the boat and motor were damaged.


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## bigfishtx (Jul 17, 2007)

Booked a guide a couple of years ago at SpI and he shows up on time, we head out and when we stop he hands everyone rods with topwater baits. I was the only person that could even cast, much less use a top water. I asked him where the bait was and he said he forgot it.

After 4 hrs of nothing but a couple of 12" trout, I finally got him to let me use one of his gulps he had (he didn't want us to use his expensive gulps)

I caught one nice red then he said it was time to go in.

After we got in he finally admitted he was not the guide we hired, and was filling in for him that day. The guide woke up ill and called this guy at 5 am and asked him to fill in for him.


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## Pocketfisherman (May 30, 2005)

Back in the late '90's was heading out of Tweeties in POC running the canal behind one of the local old timer guides who ran one of the 26' classic Mako's (kept it at Clarks, so you know who I'm talking about). He got a little to far over to the right passing a barge and stuck the boat full of his charter guests up up on the shallow flat alongside the bank. He promptly had all the guests jump out and try to push him off. We stopped, got a line to him, and managed to pull the boat off with all the guests pushing. Made a new friend and had a good laugh many times afterwards. It was a good investment of my time as from then on I always had the scoop on where the big snaps and AJ's were hanging out on any given weekend.


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