# This came to me today and I wanted to share...



## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Below is my personal story of an experience that my Dad and I had...For those of you who read it, you will Understand a little more why Dad and I bonded the way we did over this battle he just won with Cancer... Its long and if you cant get through it, I understand but I was just inspired by the first story to write this and share it. The first story is an e-mail I got today and this inspired my story below it... Sometimes I just have to write things out.

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.

Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice,wait a
minute, then drive away. But, I had seen too many Impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation.

Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door.

This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself. So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before
me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it
, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase

The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, No knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the 
cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly 
toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

"It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated". "Oh, you're such a good boy", she said.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?" "It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice".

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long." I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

"What route would you like me to take?" I asked. 

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow infront of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said,"I'm tired. Let's go now."

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building,
like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up.

They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door.
The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said.

"You have to make a living," she answered.

"There are other passengers," I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly..

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me,a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought.

For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten
an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

Ten things God won't ask:

1...God won't ask what kind of car you drove; He'll ask how many people you
drove who didn't have transportation.

2...God won't ask the square footage of your house, He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3...God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll Ask how many you helped to clothe.

4...God won't ask what your highest salary was, He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5...God won't ask what your job title was, He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6...God won't ask how many friends you had, He'll ask how many People to whom you were a friend.

7...God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8...God won't ask about the color of your skin, He'll ask about the content of your character.

9...God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation, He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

10...God won't ask how many people you forwarded this to, He'll ask if you were ashamed to pass it on to your friends



Man, this brought up a memory... Read if you want or delete...

I remember in my Sr. Year of college, My father had called and said that he was going to drive to Iowa to see his estranged mother who he had heard reports was in bad health. Without going into the story, he and her were not very close as he grew up. This was my dads last surviving parent and I knew that it was going to be tough...I knew that no matter how much he resented her, if she was as sick as he was telling me, it was going to be a rough trip. He had planned to go alone.

He was going during Spring break so I called my mom and told her I was going to drive to their house in Kansas, surprise him, and go with him to see his mother. She thought it would be a great idea...Of course, I didnt tell my father because he would have simply tried to put me off.

So, spring break comes along and I take off to Goodland Kansas....I get to Kansas and just walk in the house and my Dad was in shock "What are you doing here?".... "I am going with you to see Grandma"

He started in on me and I made him shut his mouth and told him I had come too far to turn back now so deal with it.

The next day we took off...Across Kansas, across Nebraska and into Iowa. We went to our Hotel, checked in and then made the trip to see Grandma...

We walked in this old hospital that had been converted to a "retirement home" and asked to see my Grandmother. They had recently moved her to a different area of the hospital because of her condition (Alzheimers) and she needed more immediate care. Her husband was unable to do much as he was in bad shape too (3rd or 4th husband...Dad and I didnt know him very well).

We walked into the room and saw my grandmother sitting on the edge of her bed and she was staring out into space...Like she "wasnt there"...We said hello to her and she popped back and recognized us but was still a bit confused. We told her who we were and she remembered. This was hard all by itself!!

Well, after talking to her for a bit and not knowing what to do really, we asked her if there was anything she would like to do. She asked us to take her and her husband for a ride...

We loaded them up in my dads truck and headed out. We found out that because of her and his condition, they had not been out of that hospital for *3 MONTHS...* Imagine that...Had not left that god forsaken, smelly *** hospital for three months!! We felt like really sorry family members man...estranged or not!

We drove out to the countryside, rolling corn fields, green pastures, up and down the river...They just loved it...They were truly soaking in every second of the trip...Smiling, chatting with each other, pointing out different places and historical events from their past....

Then my grandmother told us to take a left, a right, a left, a left and BOOM!!! there we were....In front of a house that I was familiar with in pictures but had never seen....It was the House my Father was born in and the house I had been taken pictures in front of as a baby. Both my dad and I couldnt speak because of the lumps in our throats... Gandma started to talk about the house, times spent there, etc...

I couldnt stand it and got out of the truck and went to knock on the door. A lady about 50-ish opened the door and I explained the weird situation to her. She was the woman who had bought the house from my grandmother and her second husband 20-30 years before. She remembered my grandmother and waved to her in the truck. I asked her if I could come in and just see the house my dad was born in...My dad couldnt do it.

I went in quickly, took it all in, and then left, thanking the lady as I walked out.

We took my grandparents to dinner and then we went back to the hospital. When we got back, Grandma took us to a little garage she had and asked us to open it. We did and inside was an old Buick...well, 80's model Buick...

She said she couldnt drive anymore and wanted dad to have it. She opened the trunk and inside the trunk were a couple of boxes. In the boxes were stacks of photo albums...She said "Danny, I dont have any use for these anymore, I want you to take it all." and handed us the keys.

We took Grandma back to her room and spent a few more minutes with her and we could tell she and her husband were worn out. We told the we would letthem rest and we went back to our hotel.

As I walked out of the Hospital, Dad and I both started bawling...We just couldnt stand it anymore. We hugged each other and said a few words to each other and then I said.... "Look Dad, this has been a looooong day...Lets go get us a bottle of Whiskey and go back to the Hotel." He agreed and off we went.

When we got back to the hotel, we unloaded the boxes and went upstairs to look through the albums... Oh man!!!

As we started to look through them, we found that even though Dad was estranged from my grandmother, she had every news article that he had either written or was in (and he didnt send them to her...He still has no clue how they got there).

There were pictures of him from when he was an infant up until he was just a few years younger than he was at the time...Pics of him in his airplane(s), him on the beach, me and my sisters, my mom, my first wife, my wife now, graduations, weddings of my sisters, my nieces and nephews, holidays, special ocassions....They were all in these books! Each picture had a little note with a date and what it was...Man, I tell ya, the whiskey was going down and the tears were flowing...We were sobbing together like little children...How could this be possible!!??

Well, this opened the door for me and Dad to talk about "life" and the "end of life" and all the stuff in between...We made pacts together and agreements together on how things would be handled as we grew older...How he wanted things...How he and mom wanted things...Deep, powerful, meaningful discussions that EVERY parent should have with their children... It isnt hard...Its powerful and meaningful AND WORTH IT!!

We drank ourselves into unconciousness and cried ourselves to the point of exhaustion but man, we connected in a way I never thought was possible!

We went back the next day to follow up with some doctors, get some things in order and say our goodbyes...As we walked into Grandmas room again, she was a little shocked and didnt know who we were...She called us someone elses names and we tried to explain again who we were... She really didnt get it but we had to get on the move.

We told Grandma and her husband that we would be in touch and left contact numbers for everyone to call us in case something happened. As we walked out and said our goodbyes, Grandma was still confused as to who we were but started to cry...We hugged her, cried with her and said goodbye.

That was the last time I saw my grandmother... My father went back a few times as needed and really took on her care in a big way... I guess he felt a responsibility to her or....well, I dont know.... But he made sure that her last days were as worry free as they could be. Shortly after our visit, her disease advanced and she eventually had full dementia and passed away...

Now, I will tell you...There are no accidents in this life! Grandma Baxter always remembered birthdays and sent a card, tried to visit every year or two...Was always a "burden" to us because we were so estranged from her but we later found that even through it all, her love for her son and his family never faded...She did the very best she could with the tools she had. And the greatest part...The very best part of all of it...Because of her, Her son and his son are now tighter and more connected than we ever were.

We have a bond and an understanding of each other that is like none that I know of... I know that if there is such a thing as Heaven...She is sitting up there with a smile on her face knowing that she created what we have now...What better thing could a parent ask for than to know her child is bonded stronger and in ore ways than they were able to. Thanks Grandma Bac!

I hope this makes you think of somone in your life that maybe you have estranged yourself from and call them...Or hug your child once extra... Or kiss your wife just because.... Or call your Mom or your Dad just to let them know you love them...Or....Well....*OR!!!*

If you amde it this far, thanks for taking the time to read it...I hope it had some meaning to you... Have a great week!!


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## RC's Mom (Jun 6, 2008)

Brad...you kill me everytime you post these, but they are so heartwarming and true. Every once in a while someone on 2cool will say something about not ever talking to "so and so" and never want to and it breaks my heart because my Dad is gone. We were very close and it still hurts after 6 years, I can't imagine having the guilt of being estranged and losing a parent. Thanks for the reminder!

Darlene


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Darlene,

Man, I am so blessed to have the family I have and the life I have had... 

I work with troubled kids and families for a living and every day I see how blessed I am to have the family I do. 

It has been a rough road and I put my family through much growing up but we are now what I would love to see others like... 

Its a sad thing when families choose to forget about each other beacuse of differences... Its just that...Differences....Why not live, let live, and love each other huh?

Glad you liked the story... Dad and I will chersih that experience forever!!


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## CajunBob (Feb 24, 2008)

Brad the world needs more people like you. God Bless you and yours. If you ever want to go fishing give me a call. (979) 415-4739


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## Bonito (Nov 17, 2008)

Brad, Thanks for sharing this with us. My dad passed away when I was 18. My mother and I shared many hours over the years reflecting on our lives and the life Our Father in heaven wanted us to live. I have fallen far short of being the kind of Christian God wants me to be, but I never forget about Him and I know He never forgets about me. 

Your story put a lump in my throat. A good lump. 

Thanks,

John


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Thnaks everyone... It was a very special trip!


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## cfish (May 21, 2008)

That was beautiful Brad. Thank you .


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## The Machine (Jun 4, 2007)

awesome


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## let's talk fishin (Jan 4, 2008)

all i can say is WOW thanks for sharing and may God bless you and your family


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## bzrk180 (Jan 7, 2008)

Thanks everyone...My Dad and Mom are in town for a month or so visiting. He looks so good...Like he never even was fighting cancer. 

He was on the motivational speaking circut for about 6 years and truly "practiced what he taught" and came up with the result he always knew he would!

Funny how there was a time we couldnt hardly stand each other when I was a kid....Life and its twists and turns...Always a cool ride!


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## yep (Jul 25, 2006)

thanks man, that was nice.
Good on you, and a greenie for you too.

God Bless!


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