# Losing Faith



## txsean (Nov 5, 2009)

A challenge I've been struggling with recently is my faith has been showing signs of cracking.

I've always been a spiritual person. I've been an avid bible reader since as early as I can remember. I read the bible cover to cover for the first time when I was about 17 years old and have read it at least twice more since then. I don't recall how long it took the first time, but it was over the course of at least two years.

I won't mention the religion I was raised in because I'm not here to bash the religion. I'm here to talk about the struggle I'm currently facing in losing faith in my religion.

I was baptized at 11 years of age. At that time, God was real to me, it seemed illogical for life to exist without intelligent design, and the religion I called my own seemed to adhere 100% to the bible. At the time, I considered the bible to be the "word of God," infallible.

I progressed in the religion after baptism. To the point that I gave public sermons from the platform, and I eventually was appointed to a position of increased responsibility. I even served for a time as a volunteer at the main headquarters of the religion.

That was my first exposure to the hypocrisy. I saw fellow believers saying one thing in public, and doing another behind closed doors. In public, they would appear to be morally upstanding - people considered them beyond reproach. However, double lives were being led. Drunkenness, foul language, inappropriate jesting, etc.

I became disillusioned and questioned the validity of my religion...questioning if it really was what it appeared to be. Was this really the "truth?"

I didn't do much questioning of doctrine at the time, just of the personalities of fellow believers.

Because of this, I got over my disillusionment and became active in the faith once more.

However, recently, that has changed.

The faith I belong to occasionally has "refinements" of doctrinal understandings. This religion has made a lot of predictions over the years. Predictions that sound scripturally based, and then change when the original prediction didn't pan out.

Recently, there have been quite a few refinements in understandings about bible prophecy.

I used to subscribe to the view that this was a good thing. I felt that it was humility on their part to admit when they were wrong.

However, I now think it feels like an attempt to retain power and control over followers that may start to see the failures of promises.

The faith is currently ignoring vast amounts of archeological evidence about a certain pivotal date in bible history (the Babylonian destruction of Jerusalem) in order to keep their power that comes from claiming to be "God's earthly channel" of communication.

At this point, my faith is shaken. I have researched the archeological evidence and have found this faith's position on that evidence to be flimsy, at best, deceitful, at worst.

And, because of this, my faith in other beliefs is shaking. Is the bible prophetically reliable? If God exists, does he really approve of this organization?

I still can't help but feel that there must be a higher power, an intelligent designer of life and matter. I also feel that the lessons the bible teaches are beneficial for life. Love your fellow man, love your wife, obey your parents, be peaceable, mild, kind.

But what about all the other specific doctrines? I don't know.

A former leader of my faith, while discussing a proposed doctrinal change decades ago, once said, "All I know for sure is that God exists, Jesus is his son, and Jesus died for our sins." That's kind of how I feel.

But, doubting these other details about my faith also makes the foundation of my faith in those basic things wobble.

Right now, I am still outwardly practicing the faith, but on the inside, I am torn up.

Normally, if someone feels the way I do, you just decide that this faith or church isn't for you and move on.

However, my whole family is in this faith. Wife, Father, Mother, Father-in-law, Mother-in-law, Sister, etc. This faith teaches that if someone that is baptized later disagrees with their teachings, they are to be removed from the church and shunned, not to be associated with. Excommunicated.

So you can see why this challenge is a struggle. I love my wife, my family and my wife's family. However, in order to have a meaningful relationship with them all, I can not communicate my doubts about the faith or leave the faith. If I were to do so, I would not only be persona-non-grata to them, but they would also suffer emotionally.

In addition, the only close friends I have are also heavily invested in this religion. So, they would also be required by the church to shun me and not have any association with me if I were to leave the faith.

At this point, I feel trapped. My choices are either go with my gut, my brain, and stop wasting my time on this specific religion, or to grit my teeth, and pretend to be a believer and say all the right things in order to not disappoint family or friends.

What will I do? How will I face this challenge?

As of now, I have no idea. But, putting down all of this in writing has been somewhat therapeutic, and I'm glad I have done so. Thanks for reading.


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## tec (Jul 20, 2007)

We are all human and we are all sinners. Faith is belief without proof. You will have to decide what you want to do.


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## jdipper1 (Jul 18, 2007)

The easiest response would be to leave your current church and abandon this world for the next. That is also the hardest. Remember, "Religion" is man made, the following of Jesus is what matters. Maybe GOD has a plan to use you to save someone in your current church. God works in ways we do not understand. Just remember, Jesus died for our salvation and that it is the truth.

Luke12:2: For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known.

Luke 12:8: Also I say unto you, Whosoever shall confess me before men, him shall the Son of man also confess before the angels of God:

Do what you know is right in GOD's eyes.

GOD Bless,
John


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## Reel Time (Oct 6, 2009)

txsean, following Jesus is the hardest thing any man can do.
It sounds like you have a firm foundation based on God's Word. You will know who His followers are by the lives they live. We all sin but Christians try not to live a life of sin. 
Here is the harsh truth and it is not popular.
http://biblehub.com/luke/14-26.htm









I believe you already know the answer to your problem . I also don't think you have lost your faith in God. You have lost faith in people that have disappointed you with their hypocrisy. You will never be at peace if you fake it. I don't like the word "religion". That is man-made.
Be a follower of Jesus and His Word. Period. You must forsake all and give your life fully to Christ.
Just my .02


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## DA REEL DADDY (Jun 7, 2005)

Continue to pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you thru your valley. God Bless.


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

Great advice everyone. 

txsean, just remember that we are to please God and bring him glory. You have a very tough decision to make and it might be painful to you and others as well. Obey God rather than man (I know it's a lot easier said than done). Praying for you.


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## tngbmt (May 30, 2004)

by your post, i feel that you have all the answers you need in your heart. pray for guidance, accept man's fallacies and stay faithful to your belief.

i was talking to my daughter the other night about mother teresa. i must confess, i know very little about mother teresa. my answers were generic, philosophical based on logic & catholic traditions. mother teresa, a catholic, might have allowed an universalist view to surface when it came to who can be saved. in my view, she was in the middle of a society that did not believe in Jesus we can be saved. instead of creating her mission somewhere more acclimated to her views, she was among those in need. instead of telling the hindu on their death bed that they are condemned, she left it to God to be the judge. it wasnt her work that she was saved. it was thru her work that others can see God's mercy and can choose to be saved.

my in laws & many of my close friends are buddhist. i attended a funeral of a friend last week in a buddhist atmosphere where they offered a meal to the deceased. i pray for mercy for the living & the dead


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

One thing I might add txsean is that since you've read and studied the bible, it is a great benefit to you, especially in times like these. You are able to examine everything and compare it to what the bible says.


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## Sometimer (Nov 2, 2006)

I can clearly relate to the religion you refer to, as I was once a part of it. Having no other family 'in' it, it was easy to get out, and I didn't DA or were Df'd. I just dropped off the radar.
However, there was residual garbage from indoctrination that lingered, so I did my own personal research - without the bOrg's publications.
What I discovered was very eye-opening. It's often called TTATT (or the truth about the truth). Here is a starting point: http://www.jwfacts.com/

After that sinks in and you want to move on, whether you stay 'in' for family, or leave (with the shunning consequences that brings), here is a recovery site. Granted, I don't subscribe to everything on the following site, but there are some interesting topics discussed.
http://www.jehovahswitnessrecovery.com/forum/index.php

I've been 'out' for about 20 years now, and life couldn't be better!

Make the decision that is best for YOU. I did. You'll have a tough row to hoe, either way, because of family. It truly is a Crisis of Conscience.


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