# Ruin a date in four words



## prokat (Jul 17, 2010)




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## Reel Girl (Jan 7, 2013)

I forgot my wallet


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## Mont (Nov 17, 1998)

send a nude selfie


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

My wife said OK.


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## BlueWave86 (Dec 18, 2004)

My wife just called


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## MarkU (Jun 3, 2013)

Are you wearing that?


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## justgettingstarted (Aug 24, 2008)

I didn't drink enough


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## JamesAggie (Jun 28, 2012)

Nice shoes, wanna [email protected]$k.


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## photofishin (Aug 7, 2009)

It's just a rash


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## fastpitch (Oct 15, 2004)

will you marry me?


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## BATWING (May 9, 2008)

Mama said i cant


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## Bocephus (May 30, 2008)

I'm out on Probation


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## Haute Pursuit (Jun 26, 2006)

They call me Bocephus!


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## RB II (Feb 26, 2009)

Or "I'm out on parole"


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## Bocephus (May 30, 2008)

Haute Pursuit said:


> They call me Bocephus!


That'll scare em away for sure !!! :rotfl:


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## Mike.Bellamy (Aug 8, 2009)

Like my shiny Prius?


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## weimtrainer (May 17, 2007)

Aren't you my cousin?


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## weimtrainer (May 17, 2007)

weimtrainer said:


> Aren't you my cousin?


Kentucky and Arkansas excluded.


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## a couple more (Mar 19, 2009)

your EBT or mine?


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## SurfHippie (Apr 7, 2015)

aren't you my cousin?


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## SurfHippie (Apr 7, 2015)

dang, weimtrainer beat me to it!


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

Are you a man??


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## atm_93 (Mar 16, 2005)

Your sister is hotter


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## loco4fishn (May 17, 2010)

*Lol*

Are you STILL hungry???


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## prokat (Jul 17, 2010)

Unemployment just ran out


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## 8seconds (Sep 20, 2005)

Your hot friend here?


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## Bonestock (Jul 17, 2009)

I crapped myself again


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## weimtrainer (May 17, 2007)

Pull my finger please.


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## bdub25 (Feb 1, 2011)

I need to poop


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## Hollywood1053 (May 15, 2009)

atm_93 said:


> Your sister is hotter


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

I'm a Scientologist, you?


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## Bozo (Jun 16, 2004)

I'm a little gassy.


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## 8seconds (Sep 20, 2005)

I dated your Mom!


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

You hate fishing? Bye.


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## Category6 (Nov 21, 2007)

I'm seeing through that


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## Lagunaroy (Dec 30, 2013)

You eatin double down?


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## 535 (May 23, 2004)

its just a coldsore


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## mstrelectricman (Jul 10, 2009)

no fat chicks allowed.


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

McDonald's or Burger King?


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## Haute Pursuit (Jun 26, 2006)

I'll need a bag.


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## Slimshady (Jan 11, 2005)

I have four children.


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## mastercylinder60 (Dec 18, 2005)

Wanna smoke some crack?


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## geauxdeck (Mar 10, 2014)

Is it in yet?


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## ralph7 (Apr 28, 2009)

Bonestock said:


> I crapped myself again





Haute Pursuit said:


> I'll need a bag.


These two made me laugh.


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## jewfish (Feb 16, 2005)

*Winner*



fastpitch said:


> will you marry me?


This gets my vote for 1st place
with "its a cold sore" cuming in a close 2nd


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## Won Hunglo (Apr 24, 2007)

I come really fast.


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## WillieT (Aug 25, 2010)

Do you love me?


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

How about going Dutch?


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## BlueWave86 (Dec 18, 2004)

you look very fat


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## reelthreat (Jul 11, 2006)

You'll do, I guess.


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## kweber (Sep 20, 2005)

is that a tick?


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## CRGR (Sep 8, 2014)

My passion is puppetry


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## reelthreat (Jul 11, 2006)

Awesome, I love fatties!


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## KarrMar (Jul 12, 2011)

Wow your butts' huge


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## FishingMudGuy (Aug 13, 2014)

I'll pay next time.


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## Ready.Fire.Aim (Sep 22, 2009)

Help move the carseats.

Genital warts aren't contagious


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## FishingMudGuy (Aug 13, 2014)

My mom's calling me.


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## Bigj (Jul 22, 2007)

Are you A Spitter


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## Reel Time (Oct 6, 2009)

I live with Mom


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## Leo (May 21, 2004)

Your place or mom's?


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## 6.5 shooter dude (Jan 8, 2008)

Your sister is hot!


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## MarkU (Jun 3, 2013)

My sister kisses better.

You look like Mommy.

You into Threesomes?

It's not that contagious..

I own a Donkey.


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## cman (Apr 17, 2009)

Do you take checks?


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## Slim-N-None (Sep 16, 2005)

That wasnt a fart.


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## cman (Apr 17, 2009)

Show me your ****.


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## Trouthunter (Dec 18, 1998)

You don't sweat much.

TH


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## Goags (May 28, 2004)

Does this look infected?


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## regulator (May 21, 2004)

are you a swallower...


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## karstopo (Jun 29, 2009)

You gonna eat that?


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## emed (Mar 16, 2015)

Oh *****, my wife!

Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## OnedayScratch (May 23, 2012)

Yes, that's my bicycle.

I'm outta food stamps.

My papers are wet.

My dog smells too.

You're fatter than me.

It's just a Hickey.


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## Ox Eye (Dec 17, 2007)

Can Mommy come along?.


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## fishingtwo (Feb 23, 2009)

You Don't Like Meat?


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## CAMDEX (Jul 29, 2013)

I'm cured of AIDS


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## 8seconds (Sep 20, 2005)

Have you gained weight?


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## DadSaid (Apr 4, 2006)

atm_93 said:


> Your sister is hotter


Dang.. Beat me to it


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## Bozo (Jun 16, 2004)

Hey, pull my finger!

Sent from my A0001 using Tapatalk


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## JamesAggie (Jun 28, 2012)

She'll have the salad.


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## D HOGG (Jul 2, 2012)

You don't look Jewish ....


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## Sac-a-lait Trey (Jun 10, 2015)

CRGR said:


> My passion is puppetry


ðŸ˜‚ My favorite so far.


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## Sac-a-lait Trey (Jun 10, 2015)

Let's just be friends.


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## Sac-a-lait Trey (Jun 10, 2015)

What's your REAL weight?


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## Sac-a-lait Trey (Jun 10, 2015)

You'll want these antibiotics.


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## Robalo Guy (Jun 21, 2010)

I play for Baylor


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## sotol buster (Oct 7, 2007)

My name is Gilbert.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk


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## Shooter (Jun 10, 2004)

When's the baby due?

Your place or mom's?


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## RedXCross (Aug 7, 2005)

Emmersome, emmersome, big, ones


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## steve holchak (May 18, 2012)

This won't hurt much.


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## dk2429 (Mar 27, 2015)

I love Hillary Clinton


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## dk2429 (Mar 27, 2015)

I was a women


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## DSL_PWR (Jul 22, 2009)

I hide the bodies...


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## Jamaica Cove (Apr 2, 2008)

I always vote democrat.


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## Mike.Bellamy (Aug 8, 2009)

CRGR said:


> My passion is puppetry


That is hilarious.


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## Gluconda (Aug 25, 2005)

Is that hair gel?


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## Its Catchy (Apr 10, 2014)

Do you like Landry's?


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## big bluemarlin (Apr 12, 2006)

in the truck b8tch


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## jewfish (Feb 16, 2005)

*how about some ladies responses*

post em up girls (not my reply)


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## Harbormaster (May 26, 2000)

How 'bout them Cowboys?


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## ATE_UP_FISHERMAN (Jun 25, 2004)

you Pregnant or what?
you make me chubby..


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## Gluconda (Aug 25, 2005)

Carpet match the drapes?


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## donf (Aug 8, 2005)

Have you gained weight?


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## iwant2fish (Jan 28, 2005)

are you on 2cool?


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

I've got The Herp.


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## CRGR (Sep 8, 2014)

Hilary Clinton for president


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## speckle-catcher (May 20, 2004)

MEGABITE said:


> I've got The Herp.


OK - story time.

A friend of mine was sitting in a bar in a smallish town in Minnesota. She was sitting near another couple that was on a first date.

On about the 2nd drink, the lady tells the man that she's got the herp...and not quietly. several people in the bar overheard her say it.

shortly after that, herp-lady gets up and goes to the restroom. When she returns - her date is gone.

and then she wondered why he left.


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

At least she tells people. ha


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## blackjack runner (Feb 24, 2015)

I'm a cat person.

I volunteer for peta.


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## TES (Apr 8, 2016)

Can you catch bait !!!


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## BATWING (May 9, 2008)

I forgot my wallet...


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

My curfew is Midnight.


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## Jamaica Cove (Apr 2, 2008)

I am Barack Obama.


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## Buffett Fan (Aug 31, 2006)

please please please please


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## rut-ro (Oct 12, 2008)

You need DIET coke


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

We splittin' the check?


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Pardon me. Mothers calling.


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## Mojo281 (Sep 7, 2006)

"I love you, sometimes..."

This was actually said!!


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## Timemachine (Nov 25, 2008)

Let's get naked NOW!!!


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## Timemachine (Nov 25, 2008)

Caitlyn is my hero


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## Timemachine (Nov 25, 2008)

do you play paintball


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## Haute Pursuit (Jun 26, 2006)

Your mole keeps moving.


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## Buffett Fan (Aug 31, 2006)

Haute Pursuit said:


> Your mole keeps moving.


hahahaha...that reminds me of the movie, Uncle Buck..."here's a quarter..."


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## SeaY'all (Jul 14, 2011)

Your Mom looks better


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Why are you fat


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## JMAKO (Jun 20, 2013)

stay and clean dishes


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## emed (Mar 16, 2015)

This [email protected]Ã—m ankle monitor


Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk


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## ibtbone (Oct 7, 2013)

that wont go away


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

I...I love you.


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## Bull Red (Mar 17, 2010)

Is it your period?


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## Bull Red (Mar 17, 2010)

What's your annual income?


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## prokat (Jul 17, 2010)

Puppetry,lmfao


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

Can I borrow $5,000?


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## MarkU (Jun 3, 2013)

allah akbar, allah akbar!


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## MarkU (Jun 3, 2013)

I collect Toe nails.


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## Rack Ranch (May 25, 2004)

I'm a Texas Longhorn


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## prokat (Jul 17, 2010)

Shocker or the rocker?


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## fishingwithhardheadkings (Oct 10, 2012)

I have ten kids


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## fishingwithhardheadkings (Oct 10, 2012)

I spit you swallow!


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

I constantly hear voices.


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## HarryK (Jun 5, 2008)

which bathroom you prefer?


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## michaelbaranowski (May 24, 2004)

I'll have a Miller


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## Category6 (Nov 21, 2007)

Hey, I showered today!


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## KoolAU79 (Apr 15, 2008)

Oops, I just sharted.


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## xp22 (Jul 20, 2012)

I miss my penis...


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## fy0834 (Jan 18, 2011)

Are you a virgin?
or
Only done my sister!


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## Reel Time (Oct 6, 2009)

You are really fat!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

(Female) I have 12 cats.


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## TexasTom (Mar 16, 2011)

I See Dead People!


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## MEGABITE (May 21, 2004)

I'm Beiber's biggest fan!


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## gray gost (Jul 8, 2010)

get out and push!


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## rusty2009 (Mar 5, 2010)

Please change your picture! What is that smell? I brushed my Tooth!!


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## had2reg (Aug 25, 2005)

What's the going price?


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## Tarpbone (Sep 2, 2012)

My nuts are itchy

When will burning stop?


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## fy0834 (Jan 18, 2011)

Him: Ain't got no money.


Her/it: Fooled ya didn't I.


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## Hollywood1053 (May 15, 2009)

Him to her
You need to shave


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## CRGR (Sep 8, 2014)

(Phone ringing) "it's my parole officer"


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## hoosierplugger (May 24, 2004)

Does this look infected?


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## CHARLIE (Jun 2, 2004)

"Hi honey im home"


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## fishingtwo (Feb 23, 2009)

You Speakee Da English?


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## OnedayScratch (May 23, 2012)

What's your name again?


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## DCAVA (Aug 5, 2013)

Show me your tits


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Main Frame 8 (Mar 16, 2007)

Your sister is HOT!!


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## Poon Chaser (Aug 22, 2006)

Hey, smell my finger 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk


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## Sac-a-lait Trey (Jun 10, 2015)

MarkU said:


> I collect Toe nails.


Hilarious!


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## JMAKO (Jun 20, 2013)

Is that a mole?


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## Poon Chaser (Aug 22, 2006)

Puts lotion on skin

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using Tapatalk


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## tickbird (Apr 11, 2008)

Last call, load up!


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

I'm out of Valtrex


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## tickbird (Apr 11, 2008)

Nice tooth, sweet pants!


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## cman (Apr 17, 2009)

Hop in sweet ****!


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## reba3825 (Feb 28, 2013)

Look at them hooters!!!


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## FishingMudGuy (Aug 13, 2014)

What's your name again?


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## poppadawg (Aug 10, 2007)

Did you bring rubbers?


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## I Fall In (Sep 18, 2011)

The clinic just called.
Duck, it's my wife.
Yer mouf is Purdy.


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## redspeck (Jul 3, 2012)

How old's your mom?


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## redspeck (Jul 3, 2012)

Nothing like your picture!

I came in you!


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## fishingtwo (Feb 23, 2009)

OnedayScratch said:


> What's your name again?


says I gotta spread some

Is that your kid?


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## mlinger (Jun 21, 2007)

order the specials only


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## TXXpress (May 23, 2004)

I got a dripper!


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## JOHNNY QUEST (Mar 6, 2006)

its just a wart


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## Shallow_Minded (Sep 21, 2004)

Aren't you through yet?


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