# I really need some wise counsel here



## Hooked Up (May 23, 2004)

Spent most of my life "saving" the world in my own little ways. Firefighting, EMS, Lifeguard, Peaced Officer. Hindsight being 20/20, I can see that getting involved in politics was a huge mistake for me but I wouldn't listen back then. I always took a lot of pride in taking the "high road" and not giving in to the "this is the way we've always done it mentallity". Since my departure from politics my (our) lives have been a living hell. I was raised "old school". "Suck it up, work harder, everything will be just fine. Now, I feel like I have come to the point where I cant do anything right anymore and we are going down the tubes faster than someone in a TV soap opera. My hands are shaking, my heart pounding and I dont even know what a good nights sleep is anymore. I pray day and night and still refuse to give in to the ways of "the world". My faith is real but I am confused to no end. Does my stress and "fear" contradict my proclamation of faith? I know they cant eat me but I am so ashamed that others (my family) have to go through this stuff with me. I know in my heart that God did not bring us this far just to kick us to the curb but the "physical" things I'm going through are very real! Have you ever felt like this? How did you get through it? I have no more answers and really could use some enlightenment. I'm weak right now and embarrassed to no end. I know that many will say that I am a fool for throwing this out here in public forum but I dont care about "image" anymore. Tell me what I'm missing here. Heck, you can beat me up for writing this. I need some real answers and I need them fast. Thanks for letting me have a place where I can put it all on the table and still feel somewhat safe. Your Brother in Christ, Guy


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## stargazer (May 24, 2004)

Guy, I wish I had some answers for ya. I know there have been times in my life that things have not been all roses. 

The only thing that kept me going was a phrase that i kept repeating to myself 
"the Lord never gives you more than you can handle, and I will over come this" it helped me focus and gave me the determination that it wasnt going to let this get the best of me. 
I am praying that you and your family will soon be on the road to recovery.


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## Just Wad'n (Jan 9, 2006)

Guy, I don't think I'm wise counsel...but I can tell you by my experiences.

I spent most of my life in one crisis or another...from childhood to adulthood...Seemed like when I would see a ray of sunshine...it'd fade just as soon as it came...and then bad would overtake as well. Me and my children have faced, abusive situations, me having cancer and being a single mom, and MORE.....I won't go into this in public...but I can assure you...there is more. I would cry everynight at one point not knowing what to do...I would pray every night ...not knowing what to do. 

I felt at times like my faith was as strong as it could ever be...me and my children all were baptized together...then I went thru times were I felt that God had abandoned me. I remember times that I would pray to God to end all this pain for me....

I kept telling myself..."One day....my children and I WILL have a good life" I would tell myself that if I keep holding on and praying it would happen. My past life now, seems like it was someone else's life....I believe I finally crossed the bridge over. I'm not sure why we had to endure some of what we did....some people tell me it was to become the person I am today. Some will say it was a test. During our turbulent times I thought, if I hear someone else tell me, "You will become stronger from this"...I'd punch em', LOL....

What I'm trying to get at is. During the hardest times in my life, I couldn't see the end of the tunnel...I couldn't feel anything positive. I felt like a failure to my children and I just wanted it all to go away (w/out doing something stupid) I was totally depressed. But I held on. Deep inside...I'm a fighter. I don't give up on things easily. That and with God's hand and the faces of my children is what got me to today!

I love life. I couldn't have said that 3 years ago. I can't wait for the next adventure and I look forward to being everything I can be to myself, my children, my friends, family and my partner....but especially to God. You will also. You will find again, the fighter in you, to get thru this difficult time. I can tell you though, you can't do it alone. When you feel that you are alone....know that God will not let you be...he is there!

I hope this helps you in some way.


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## luv2fish (Mar 21, 2005)

I by NO means know it all. But my suggestion and prayer for you is to REMEMBER


...Keep your eyes on Jesus, thanking HIM every step of the way..AND MORE..
Tis so sweet to TRUST in JESUS. Let HIM have ALL your burdens and keep them there. (Dont take them back)

Its worked for me.


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## SurfRunner (May 22, 2004)

Hooked Up,

I have been there. There really isn't anything anyone can do or say to make it better. However, they might give you little bits and pieces that will help you keep going.....After all, that is what we the body should be doing for one another.

It probably feels like you are lonely and no one understands. It might feel that God is not in this, but He is whether you feel His presence or not.

Keep taking your steps in faith one at a time and one day at a time. He will see you through this. It might be a long very very hard journey, but You will get through it.

I'll be praying for you.


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## Stuart (May 21, 2004)

Yep, one day at a time. I got myself way stressed out two years ago and in my case never really knew what brought it on. The fix for me was to take a deep breath (literally) and tell myself I wasn't going to let this control me. Have you thought about seeking some counseling? What about a preacher that you could talk to?

Do something you haven't done in while to break up whatever routine your in. Could be as simple as inviting some friends over to play dominos or such. Hang in there and we'll be praying for ya.


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## word-doctor (Sep 20, 2005)

HookedUp, when I've been that stressed out I try to do exactly what you've done--talk to someone. The one thing that won't help is keeping it bottled up inside so as not to ruin one's image! So you're onto the right path already.

Second, pray. Do it often, and do it even if right at that moment you don't believe in it.

Third, take concrete actions. Be reductionist--when you're miserable and can't see your way out of it ask God for guidance and then do the next right thing. Not the next right Big Thing--the next right thing. It might be cooking nachos for the family or going for a walk around the block. Things can be 2 minutes of activity and once you're done, think of/do the next two minute thing.

Stay out of the past and the future. "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof" means we've got enough &%(* to deal with in the present without remembering old *))#& or anticipating new $*&%).

Get help. Starting here is a good idea. Remember that while you _can_ do it with God, that He works through others; isolating yourself, whether praying or not, keeps you away from others He might use to help you.

Good luck. Keep posting. Next Right Thing.


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## Hooked Up (May 23, 2004)

Thanks so much y'all. I "really" needed to here "all" of this. From the bottom of my heart; Thank you, Guy


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## activescrape (Jan 8, 2006)

Some really heart felt good advice here. I've been there also. It wasn't until I gave up on any master plan I had for life that I got relief. It felt like the biggest cop out. How could I just wake up every day without a plan? Just live day by day, what is that? Anyway, I stayed broke for a long time, my credit was shot and I didn't know what future I had career wise.
My wife and I got into a bad arguement after I had been sober about a year and a half, she was in my face yellling and I had a wierd kind of feeling, like I was watching this happen instead of being a part of it. I went upstairs and started talking to God. I told him "nothing has changed. She still treats me like I'm using. I'm not any better off financially, my kids still don't trust me, I might as well start drinking again. This is hopeless." And he spoke to me, He said "no, that is not true, you have two things NO MAN can take from you. You have your relationship with Me and you have your sobriety. You did not have that before, hang on to that." I thought about it and realized how true it was. What difference did it make if I was broke? I had God.
The rest is history, it got better, slowly, but there is no comparison to life then and life now.
Guy, I believe God will provide for you and your family. I feel for ya'll, because I know how sincere you are, God knows it too.


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## Tippet (Jun 26, 2004)

*Faith And Hope*

I will pray for you and your family to get through this time of trouble.
Your a good man with a loving family. Stand with faith in the Lord.


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## daparson (Dec 4, 2004)

*Just Some Thoughts*

Years ago I taught a lesson dealing with Discouragment. Many times in my life I have struggled with depression and discouragment. It seems to accompany people who stive to accomplish much in life. Sounds like you fit into this category Guy ... Not for sure this will bring about instant relief ... but there are some important priciples that my benefit you in the long run. Here is the study.

*HOW TO HANDLE DISCOURAGEMENT*​ With all of the pressure and stress in today's marketplace, it is easy to run out of emotional energy. Whatever you call it ... depression, "burnout", or "the blahs"... it is an inescapable warning light that something is seriously out of balance in your life.

How do people get themselves into such an emotional mess? The answer is *Faulty Thinking*. Your emotions are caused by your thoughts- conscious or unconscious. If you are experiencing depressed feelings, it means your mind is dwelling on depressed thoughts.

There is a fascinating story of a man who experienced major burnout in the Bible and how God helped him recover. Right after he experienced the greatest success of his life, Elijah's emotions hit bottom. He was emotionally and physically depleted, but his faulty thinking made matters worse. Elijah's 4 mistakes are common to all of us:



*MISTAKES THAT INTENSIFY DISCOURAGMENT*​
* I. We focus on our feelings rather than the facts.* 

*1 Kings 19:3-4 (NIV) "Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to **Beersheba** in **Judah**, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.""*

The mistake of emotional reasoning says, "I feel it, so it must be true!" Elijah said, "I feel like a failure, so I must be one." The fact is feelings are highly unreliable. Great performers and athletes know they must learn to ignore the negative feelings they often experience afterthey have performed*.*

* II. We compare ourselves to others.*

*1 Kings 19:4 (NIV) "while he himself went a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, LORD," he said. "Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.""*

This, of course, is a self-defeating trap. We end up comparing other's strengths to our weaknesses, while ignoring our strengths. Alternatively, we foolishly label ourselves with derogatory statements. Labels never motivate us to change - they only reinforce what you do not like about yourself. The Bible says you should not compare yourself to others because you are unique!

*III. We blame ourselves for things that are not our fault.*

*1 Kings **19:10** (NIV) "He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.""*

Elijah took the failure of others personally. He felt he should be able to control the actions and attitudes of others - a guaranteed formula for depression. You can influence people, but you cannot control them. People do not always respond the way you would like. So lighten up! Criticizing yourself or others is a poor motivator.

*IV. We exaggerate the negative.*

This is called having a Pity Party. When you are down, everything seems to look worse than it really is.

*1 Kings **19:10** (NIV) "He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.""*

* 
1 Kings 19:18 (NIV) "Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel--all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him.""*


A king had two sons - one an optimist, the other a pessimist. The King gave the pessimist all that he wanted and he gave the optimist a pile of horse manure. The pessimist was despondent, for he had nothing to look forward to. Whereas the optimist was happy for he thought with all that manure, there had to be a pony somewhere.

 
GOD'S PRESCRIPTION FOR DISCOURAGMENT​
* 
Three Types of Time*


*Prime Time* - When You Are At Your Best - 
 *Grime Time* - The Time You Plan To Do What You Really Don't Want To 
 *Unwind Time* - Time When You Unwind Recovering From The Days Events
 *Less Stress?*


*Divert Daily* - Find Some Time Alone Each Day 
 *Withdraw Weekly* - Find Some Time Each Week That You Can Relax
 *Abandon Annually* - Find Some Time Annually to Spend Away From the Offices - You are not indispensable. 
 *I. Rest your body. *

God did not scold Elijah for feeling down. Instead, he gave him a vacation with the needed food, rest, and relaxation.

_*1 Kings 19:5-9 (NIV) "Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep. All at once an angel touched him and said, "Get up and eat." 6 He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. 7 The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." 8 So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. 9 There he went into a cave and spent the night. And the word of the LORD came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?""*_



_ There were two men chopping wood. One man worked hard all day long, too no breaks, and stopped only briefly for lunch. The other chopper took several breaks during the day and a short nap at lunch. At the end of the day, the woodsman who had taken no breaks was quite disturbed to see the other chopper had cut more wood than he had._

_ He said, "I do not understand. Every time I looked around, you were sitting down, yet you cut more wood that I did."_

_ His companion said, "Did you also notice that while I was sitting down, I was sharpening my axe?"_

*II. Release your frustration.*

Tell God how you feel. God encouraged Elijah to pour out his inner feelings to him. Prayer is a great way to let off steam. Remember that God is not shocked because He _already knows_ how you feel!

*1 Kings 19:10 (NIV) "He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.""*

*III. Refocus your life. *

Get your eyes off your problems and onto the fact that God wants to help you if you will let him. He can help you discover a new purpose and provide the power to move in that direction.

*1 Kings 19:15-17 (NIV) "The LORD said to him, "Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu."*



If you do not change the direction you are going, you are likely to end up where you are headed.


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## Horns23 (Jul 24, 2006)

Everyone feels the way you do at some point in their lives. It is normal to question what is your purpose. Everyone handles it in different ways. If turning to the Lord doesn't seem to help don't let people tell you that your faith isn't strong enough. You may have a chemical imbalance. Go see your Doctor and tell him your problems. There are medications available to get you right. You would be suprised at how many people you know take medication to balance their lives, most are too embarrased to publically admit it. There is nothing to be ashamed of if it helps.


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## trout250 (Aug 24, 2005)

seems like we all have been down this road at one tme or another, by no means should you return to drinking if you have quit.Do not make that mistake, remember that GOD is with you always,continue your prayer life and study to find how to better your life. like Horns said by all means consult with your family doctor-depression is a bad dude. I tell you this because when i read your post it was like reading part of my past, so hang in there will put you and your family on my prayer list.


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## Bayman (Oct 18, 2004)

By no means am I "wise counsel", but I have a thing I've been doing for years and it has helped me. When I have a problem, or want to do something, I know I have to give effort towards that thing. The more effort I give, the more ability I achieve. Ability comes directly from God. We cannot make ability, it is God given. As I increase my effort, my ability increases and I start to have more faith in my God given ability. The more effort you give, the more ability God gives you to succeed and the more faith you have in God and your ability to overcome. 

Effort = Ability = Faith

Remember Phillipians 4:13

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength"


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## podnuh (May 26, 2004)

Guy,
It'll work out, just give it time...that's all the advice that I have for you. Heck, I voted for you and didn't believe all that krap that was going around at that time. Politics is a dirtydirty bidness...


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## Stumpgrinder (Feb 18, 2006)

I can only counsel in the 3 ways I know to have worked for me.

Faith- It is crucial to keep it. In our darkest times we can turn really only one of two ways. Our darker influences can provide a temporary and in the end meaningless comfort that only compounds our troubles as we move forward. Prayer and perserverance are hard work and sometimes seem to take forever but they do work, permanently.

Acceptance - Some things are bigger than us. We will never , ever understand them. They just will not make sense to us. God is in his heaven and he has a plan. It IS the right one. Accept that it won't always seem right and won't always be comfortable.

Perserverance - Theres that country song popular right now that says "if you're going through hell keep on going" I'll gaurantee it WILL get better. Make it through today or this hour or the next fifteen minutes (whatever you can manage) There are brighter days ahead for all us that follow this basic formula. I believe that.

Hope this helps.


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