# Duck hunters - You might be a Barney if...



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

If you can't tell a mottled duck from a mallard hen, you might be a Barney.

If you still haven't done any scouting for opening day, you might be a Barney.

If you've never heard of Hunter's Choice, you might be a Barney.

If you've ever shot a cormorant thinking it was a duck or a goose, you might be a Barney.



Please add your own...


----------



## rab ag (May 19, 2005)

All your scouting is done reading Capn's posts on 4 different boards.....


----------



## waterspout (May 21, 2004)

rab ag said:


> All your scouting is done reading Capn's posts on 4 different boards.....


Him not on four,, him got the boot on one! bwwwahahahaha!

you ever tried to get teal tags,,, you are a Barney!


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

2 boards... don't exagerate!


----------



## troy merrill (May 21, 2004)

If you don't know that corn sinks but milo floats, you might be....


I didn't just type that did I?


----------



## deebo (May 22, 2004)

You bring a pintail hen to the checkstation thinking its a Gadwall 

(seen it happen)


----------



## Woodrow (Jun 17, 2004)

What is below a Barney? But I don't qualify for #4 at least.


----------



## triple f (Aug 23, 2005)

If you have more duck calls around your neck than Cabela's has in their catalog, and it _still_ sounds like someone guttin a live wildebeast whenever you put them to your lips...........

If you have ever passed out from lack of oxygen because you have been blowin your duck call for a solid 2 1/2 hours without takin a breath.........


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

If you've ever shown up to the check in or boat ramp on opening morning, and stopped someone and asked "Where's a good place to go huntin out here?"....


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

If you think blowin your duck call will attract ducks that you can't even see so you blow it during the whole hunt....


----------



## waterspout (May 21, 2004)

If you really think you have to use steal shot while hunting in Texas,,,, :wink:


----------



## RonE (Apr 10, 2006)

If you run out of shells before you get a limit of birds.

If you show up without enough shells and expect me to give you some (I will but you will hear about it Barney)


----------



## TXPalerider (May 21, 2004)

capn said:


> If you can't tell a mottled duck from a mallard hen, you might be a Barney.
> 
> If you still haven't done any scouting for opening day, you might be a Barney.
> 
> ...


Looking forward to hunting together this year, Capn.

Sincerely,
Barney :rotfl:
(note: 3&4 don't apply to me)


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

LOL - 

If "it flies it dies," you might be a Barney.


----------



## waterspout (May 21, 2004)

If you lay into a call with a "come on back" when they're fixing to decoy,,,,,,,,,,,


----------



## boat_money (May 21, 2004)

troy merrill said:


> If you don't know that corn sinks but milo floats, you might be..../QUOTE]
> 
> if you don't' know that said bait can easily be seen from a low flying plane carrying a GW with binoculars...
> 
> and don't forget the special tpwd permits you can get to shoot an extra duck if and only if it's over 5 years old


----------



## waterspout (May 21, 2004)

If you set up your decoys on the south end of the pond/lake with a north wind ,,,,,,,


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

If you park your 4 wheeler in the ditch and then sit on it to hunt from.... LOL!


----------



## waterspout (May 21, 2004)

capn said:


> If you park your 4 wheeler in the ditch and then sit on it to hunt from.... LOL!


Hey wait a minute,, Mine is wetlands camo and Park it end the reeds in the middle of the pond! LOL Ok,, _I'm a Barney! _


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

If you make a mean face when you take pics with ducks or geese.... that you shot after crawling a ditch!


----------



## chuck leaman (Jul 15, 2004)

capn said:


> If you make a mean face when you take pics with ducks or geese.... that you shot after crawling a ditch!


I wonder who your talking about?


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

chuck leaman said:


> I wonder who your talking about?


DUKFVR!


----------



## N.O.B.S. (Oct 3, 2004)

If you use the term "barney"


----------



## waterspout (May 21, 2004)

what about wwr or whatever capn. don't they do it too. Jr gamewarden! LOL


----------



## chuck leaman (Jul 15, 2004)

If you still havent figured out Hunters Choice. Your a Barney.(Or maybe and Aggie)


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

If you don't know what the term "Barney" means.... right NOBS?


----------



## N.O.B.S. (Oct 3, 2004)

If you are happy that your friend invited you to his favorite spot this weekend, so you plan on inviting two different friends and beating him there next weekend...


----------



## Ledge (Feb 4, 2005)

If you pose for picks with spoonbills on your lanyard. HEHEHEE...


----------



## chuck leaman (Jul 15, 2004)

If you think you have to hunt in a blind to kill ducks. You are a Barney.


----------



## Whitecrow (May 26, 2004)

Anyone that calls snow geese "sky carp" and talks about how horrible they are to eat, while posing with their strap of flying livers.


----------



## waterspout (May 21, 2004)

If you think a sandhill is a whooping crane ,,,,,,,,,,,




they both taste alike though,, LOL


----------



## Cajundan (Jan 17, 2006)

If you remember to put your plug in the boat 1/2 mile from the ramp and chugging across the bay


----------



## surfspeck (Jun 7, 2006)

If your lab has dew claws you too might be a Barney.

If you insist that your dog is better than the rest and you have to get the last word in when talking about retrievers on an internet hunting forum you might be a Barney.


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

If you figure you'll just shoot it and figure out what it is later...


----------



## specag01 (May 12, 2005)

*You might be a barney*

If you post a BS story about closing duck season...


----------



## huntinguy (Aug 22, 2005)

.........put hot chocolate instead of coffee in the thermos.


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

If you get caught huntin Saturday morning after being forewarned...


----------



## Bull Minnow (May 28, 2004)

If you Sky bust! knowing you can't even hit a duck on the water.....


----------



## Spots and Dots (May 23, 2004)

surfspeck said:


> If you insist that your dog is better than the rest and you have to get the last word in when talking about retrievers on an internet hunting forum you might be a Barney.


lets not point fingers, now. I know there are better dogs than mine.

...he is pretty good, though.


----------



## chuck leaman (Jul 15, 2004)

huntinguy said:


> .........put hot chocolate instead of coffee in the thermos.


Not only are you a Barney but I believe that makes you a candy arse.(Unless you are under the age of 14).


----------



## MarshJr. (Jul 29, 2005)

I like this one the best



specag01 said:


> If you post a BS story about closing duck season...


----------



## MilosMaster (Aug 18, 2005)

If back at the ramp, after you somehow managed to kill a duck, you ask another group of hunters how to clean it!

Happened to me at Cedar Creek!


----------



## disgusted (Feb 16, 2005)

If you hunt with a lab of any color............









Chessies rule

If you think four Gadwalls and a Sprig was a good day...........


----------



## QuackWhacker (Feb 4, 2006)

If you have ever shot you best friends new mojo on its first hunt.
If you bite the ducks heads because you seen the DC do it once in a video.
If you have checked the 2cool hunting forum since June every day hoping someone will post a thread about duck hunting.


----------



## GDO (Jun 15, 2005)

if you park your boat too close to the shore in a strong north wind...

If you pull into someones pond and set up right in front of their blind...must be brushed in really good...

If you get back to the ramp with 3 water turkeys and 2 nose pickers and tell everyone that you shot 3 darks and 2 lights...

If your dog spends more time comin into the decoys than the birds do...stupid chocolates...Yellows are the only way to go!!!


----------



## 4thbreak (May 20, 2005)

*You might be barney if....*

1)You own a vortex.

2)You refer to shotgun shells as bullets.

3)You buy a RNT, F250, ATV, G&H mallards, and a SBE thinking your cool.

4)You identify everything after its been shot.

5)You skip duck season to go deer hunt.


----------



## RonE (Apr 10, 2006)

4thbreak said:


> 2)You refer to shotgun shells as bullets.
> 
> 3)You buy a RNT, F250, ATV, G&H mallards, and a SBE thinking your cool.


You mean they are not duck bullets? I own an ATV and an SBE and I are cool! But you might be a Barney if you make your dog wear a camo flotation device.


----------



## TXXpress (May 23, 2004)

You call the hunt because of bad weather! 

You insist that those Shovelers are in fact Mallards. And continue to argue the point after everyone is laughing at you.


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

lol - these are some good un's fellas, keep it up!

If you've ever seen a mosquito in the corner of your eye and hollared "Comin in!"

If it takes 2 boxes to shoot a limit

If you spend more time hollaring at your dog than huntin

If you drink beer during the hunt

If you've ever set up shot closer than 200 yards of another hunting party and argued with them that it was public water so you could hunt where you wanted

If you show up at shootin time


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

If you believe everything you read on the internet...


----------



## saintsfan (Jun 1, 2004)

If you and your buddy have ever spent 4 hours creeping ducks in an attempt to skillet shoot them and complete fill your limits. 




Nah, that don't make you anything other than hungry for some fried duck gizzards.


----------



## justletmein (Feb 11, 2006)

...you show up on opening morning in a purple dinosaur suit?


----------



## bluegill addict (Aug 13, 2005)

If you bring in 3 pintail hens to the check station thinking they are gadwall(seen it).

If you crawl through mud for an hour to jump shoot snow geese only to find out they are cattle egrets(done it).


----------



## disgusted (Feb 16, 2005)

If you think 4 spoonies and a teal is a good day.


----------



## scottrboat (Dec 21, 2005)

You are a barney if you brag about getting a limit of ducks at a DU dinner on your home play station 2 video game. Double goober!!!

Or you show up to the lease with pearl lite and drink everbody elses Bud and Miller!!

Or you carry no decoys, or OWN any, yet you think you have the right to direct plcmnt!!!

Or you havent shot a bird in yrs yet you are very clear on the art of "cleaning" with your hands in your pocket or wrapped aroun a Pearl Lite!!!

Barneyism; The act of viewing ones self pic as awesome while others are asking "who invited this guy and why??""


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

capn said:


> If you can't tell a mottled duck from a mallard hen, you might be a Barney.


LOL - It was the first one listed on the thread, and we actually have picture proof! 

I'll have to add, if you have ever asked someone on an internet board what public area they were hunting on after they posted nice straps of boards, you might be a Barney.


----------



## waterspout (May 21, 2004)

If you read on the inet about bird flu and believe it (and call game wardens) when the media isn't already all over it you might,,,,,,,,


----------



## bayourat (Jan 7, 2005)

waterspout said:


> If you read on the inet about bird flu and believe it (and call game wardens) when the media isn't already all over it you might,,,,,,,,


and the winner goes to..........................................


----------



## Brad Beaulieu (May 10, 2006)

You think vaginitis is an actual disease after you complain about being cold and your buddies tell you that you might be coming down with it.


----------



## OxbowOutfitters (Feb 17, 2006)

You Might be a Barney if:

You BELIEVE anything Captn & Spout have told Ya'll on the Internet..
They love a good suckerpunch in the nads.

Oxx..


----------



## Chuckwagon (Aug 30, 2006)

scottrboat said:


> Or you show up to the lease with pearl lite and drink everbody elses Bud and Miller!!
> 
> Or you carry no decoys, or OWN any, yet you think you have the right to direct plcmnt!!!
> 
> Or you havent shot a bird in yrs yet you are very clear on the art of "cleaning" with your hands in your pocket or wrapped aroun a Pearl Lite!!!


Can I get a LLLLLLLLL Yeah! You must hunt with some of the guys on my lease.

Oh BTW capn, I guess I'm a barney.:help:


----------



## capn (Aug 11, 2005)

Chuckwagon said:


> Oh BTW capn, I guess I'm a barney.:help:


Well Chuck, acceptance is a major step on the road to recovery!  Of course we've all known that about you for a long time...


----------



## waterspout (May 21, 2004)

Ya me too, Chuck. Lets leave capn in the marsh then and head to the leases drink beer and kill geese and ducks! Oh is this a Black duck, a mottled, or a mallard hen? I think it's a Merganser! Bwaahaha!

I love you 
you love me
we hate everrrryyyyy Barney!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,LOL!


----------



## txhunter (Oct 31, 2005)

Barney story 1.
I saw somebody last yeat bring 2 drake pintails into the check station at Peach Point WMA in NOVEMBER. The game wardern was also at the check station to greet him. This guy had no idea what he had done.

Barney story 2.
At our private lease in Matagorda we have a guy on there who is an a-hole and he is proud to be one. I don't know why we still allow this guy to be on the lease. Anyway, a buddy of mine was hunting in a piece of water we call the marsh. There are several blinds in that location and the a-hole was hunting only a few hundred yards from by buddy in a different blind. There were some geese flying ....... suddenly shots are fired and he sees a PELICAN fall from the sky!


You also might be a barney if you believe in TEAL TAGS (now that was a funny story)


----------



## Chuckwagon (Aug 30, 2006)

waterspout said:


> Lets leave capn in the marsh then and head to the leases drink beer and kill geese and ducks!


Standard procedure 'spout, standard procedure.


----------



## waterspout (May 21, 2004)

I had a doctor on My lease years ago that Thought he had a fine looking goose. He drove back to Houston from Garwood with this said goose all folded nice and neat as I had showed him how at a earlier date. He comes by my house to show me this goose on his way to the taxidermy. I said " Dude, Take that Dang Blue Heroin and get out of here and Do NOT get caught with it!" .. I fell out! time before He brought and Egret back. LOL Barney!


----------



## waterspout (May 21, 2004)

Chuckwagon said:


> Standard procedure 'spout, standard procedure.


Ya , but Mucks is messing that up! :rotfl: Dang capn can't produce but one dang cigar either!


----------



## marshhunter (Mar 20, 2008)

UP!! 

Dont forget your Teal Tags at Academy!


----------



## t-tung (Nov 13, 2005)

How bout if you strictly hunt the coast, but own a mallard hen call and USE it....probably a Barney. 
It's like sitting in a deer stand and blowing an elk call in south Texas LMDO


----------



## duckman49 (Aug 21, 2010)

t-tung said:


> How bout if you strictly hunt the coast, but own a mallard hen call and USE it....probably a Barney.
> It's like sitting in a deer stand and blowing an elk call in south Texas LMDO


They sound just like a spoony hen!!


----------



## t-tung (Nov 13, 2005)

Well hell, I guess that's the secret to some of these spoonie meathaul pics I've seen. Need to go get me one and learn to blow it


----------



## Major29 (Jun 19, 2011)

marshhunter said:


> UP!!
> 
> Dont forget your Teal Tags at Academy!


Thanks for the reminder! I already got my teal tags at academy yesterday when I got my license, but the store manager said they are running low...better get em soon.


----------



## marshhunter (Mar 20, 2008)

Major29 said:


> Thanks for the reminder! I already got my teal tags at academy yesterday when I got my license, but the store manager said they are running low...better get em soon.


You can thank me by letting me use your teal tags come opening day..


----------



## Major29 (Jun 19, 2011)

marshhunter said:


> You can thank me by letting me use your teal tags come opening day..


You weren't able to get any for yourself??? The shortage must be worse than I thought


----------



## marshhunter (Mar 20, 2008)

Major29 said:


> You weren't able to get any for yourself??? The shortage must be worse than I thought


Oh no I got mine.. id rather be a freeloader and use yours though..


----------



## Major29 (Jun 19, 2011)

marshhunter said:


> Oh no I got mine.. id rather be a freeloader and use yours though..


Not gonna happen....sorry sir, those tags are too hard to come by for that! I be only got enough to shoot 6 limits this season


----------



## BOB BONNIT (Jan 24, 2012)

...if you camp on the Middleton rollers 2 days before opening day of teal season.
...if your name is Chris Wilson.


----------



## marshhunter (Mar 20, 2008)

Major29 said:


> Not gonna happen....sorry sir, those tags are too hard to come by for that! I be only got enough to shoot 6 limits this season


Thats all you got? Im betting ill end up selling you my left over tags.. especially when i show you the secret teal hole on conroe..


----------



## Major29 (Jun 19, 2011)

marshhunter said:


> Thats all you got? Im betting ill end up selling you my left over tags.. especially when i show you the secret teal hole on conroe..


Ssshhh...


----------



## Category6 (Nov 21, 2007)

t-tung said:


> How bout if you strictly hunt the coast, but own a mallard hen call and USE it....probably a Barney.
> It's like sitting in a deer stand and blowing an elk call in south Texas LMDO


You should learn to blow one better, pintail and gadwall respond very well in the salt marsh if you know how and when to blow it. You never heard a mottled duck hen in the salt marsh? Just sayin...


----------



## t-tung (Nov 13, 2005)

Category5 said:


> You should learn to blow one better, pintail and gadwall respond very well in the salt marsh if you know how and when to blow it. You never heard a mottled duck hen in the salt marsh? Just sayin...


Never had a problem with either responding to a whistle (pintail, teal or widgeon cadence). Every Barney from here to Canada has screamed at them through a mallard hen call though. "Just sayin"


----------



## t-tung (Nov 13, 2005)

I'd spend more time making my spread look realistic than trying to become a world champion mallard hen blower. A lot of times if your spread looks good enough (good WATER movement, NOT 15 mojos), you don't have to make a sound. I'm not pretending to be a duck expert, but I'd venture to say their eyesight is a whole lot better than their hearing.


----------



## bentman (Jul 23, 2007)

You are a Barney if you post here on 2cool and at one time your were a refuge member. You are also a Barney if you make excuses why you did not shoot a limit on Lake X because you think you should have the whole lake to youself. excuses excuses excuses


----------



## Land or Water (May 12, 2013)

One of the worst things I have seen, is some dumb ***** threw their ducks in the trash can by the boat ramp! Please at least give them to someone!


----------



## Fowlerfantasy (Jun 30, 2013)

If you think every group of pelicans in the distance is ducks.


----------



## El Capitan de No Fish (Sep 20, 2007)

If you act too cool for school at the post hunt taqueria visit when you see other people wearing camo.
If you started growing a beard after Duck Dynasty became popular.


----------



## stuckinfreeport (Sep 13, 2012)

If your hunting with anything other than a bow.... whatever it is your hunting....(ooohhhh my god)


----------



## basschump (Jun 8, 2005)

"Or you show up to the lease with pearl lite and drink everbody elses Bud and Miller!!"

No need to get personal!


You park at #63 at the guadalupe delta and hunt at pond #64 because you didn't understand the labeling system. 

You get bored, leave your assigned pond and attempt to jump shoot my decoys. 

Wear crocs.


----------



## kweber (Sep 20, 2005)

seven "eye openers" and I'm comin' in...


----------



## wet dreams (May 21, 2004)

Category5 said:


> You should learn to blow one better, pintail and gadwall respond very well in the salt marsh if you know how and when to blow it. You never heard a mottled duck hen in the salt marsh? Just sayin...


^^YEP^^


----------



## T_rout (Jul 25, 2013)

If you start yelling wait for them to land. You might be a Barney!


----------

