# What to do when a loved one appears to have fallen away from their faith.



## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

I know the usual answer is prayer. And I do that a lot. It is very hard to see someone wasting away and it breaks my heart to see it. Any suggestions?


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## OnedayScratch (May 23, 2012)

I've always thought of the "lead by example" or "actions speak" scenarios are the most favorable when in this situation. God walks with us and prayer is great but hopefully they see you walk His walk and remember.

I am in an extremely similar situation ( by your description) Sometimes I want to scream at them. But that may not do anything but drive them further away.

I've sent one up for you. Please do the same for me.


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## Sgrem (Oct 5, 2005)

I'm similar to onedayscratch in that I stay as a stable rock no matter what they do or don't do.

I treat it as if they are drowning and I am a life ring they have to grab on their own to save themself. If you try to force the saving on them then they will drag you down too.

You have to swim to shore and build a safe fire and have a happy life in all of God's blessings. They have to want to save themselves and join you. You have to stay that faithful rock for them.....with every available tool at arms length for them....and watch them drown.....until they are ready to save themselves. God will see you both through it in your faith.


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## DA REEL DADDY (Jun 7, 2005)

I have to agree with above responses. 

I too try to lead by example and also do not push them into believing but in fact show them why I believe.

Before I can really think this one out, do you know what caused them to fall away?

I know folks who have fallen away because of a death have made them "mad at God'" or at least I suspect that is why the have fallen away and another married an atheist who hates religion and now she has fallen along with one of her children because he ran faith out of their house.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Thanks. Prayers sent for all those in the same situation. I guess it is like the prodigal son. It was only til he realized the folly of his ways did he decided to come back home.


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## Reel Time (Oct 6, 2009)

There is not enough info to answer your question but I can offer some tips.
Of course intercessory prayer is a must.
People fall away for a number of reasons.
1. A faulty sense of self
2. A faulty sense of need and limitations
3. Lack of a healing relationship with God and others

I know these ideas are very broad. Let him/her know that you love them where they are. Practice unconditional love like Jesus does.
Prayers sent.


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## TrueblueTexican (Aug 29, 2005)

*Pray*

Get your church and men's group to lift him up, enlist all the prayer warriors you know. Secondly know what you should do according to Gods Word -- - â€œAnd if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 â€œBut if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. 17 â€œAnd if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer. 18 â€œTruly I say to you, whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 â€œAgain I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. 20 â€œFor where two or three have gathered together in My name, there I am in their midstâ€

This is difficult to do, but you are his friend, be bold and speak to him about it, out of concern and love, let God bring him back after you have spoken to him --

I've lost friends who have turned their back on God, I've had them tell me that they would rather go to hell than change their ways, its terrible to see someone you love fall away from the light and seek darkness -- this is WHY God tells us to remain faithful till the end- for many will fall away in the last days, children will hate parents, brother hate brother, love will cease, -- DO your part , talk to him, tell him you love him as a brother and see if you can help him, maybe that's all he needs, and maybe not - just be prepared to do SPIRITUAL battle !!

If you were drowning wouldn't you want someone to throw you a life ring? Pull him to shore, care for him -- the bottom line is it starts with your witness to him, then its Gods turn -


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Reel Time said:


> There is not enough info to answer your question but I can offer some tips.
> Of course intercessory prayer is a must.
> People fall away for a number of reasons.
> 1. A faulty sense of self
> ...


It could be all three.


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## Reel Time (Oct 6, 2009)

fishingcacher said:


> It could be all three.


These are the issues that Christian counselors tackle.
But if your friend is not ready to talk (which I don't think he/she is), you are limited on what you can do. He/she needs compassion, empathy, love and acceptance. Once you have gained trust, communication may result. Direct confrontation is risky.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Reel Time said:


> These are the issues that Christian counselors tackle.
> But if your friend is not ready to talk (which I don't think he/she is), you are limited on what you can do. He/she needs compassion, empathy, love and acceptance. Once you have gained trust, communication may result. Direct confrontation is risky.


This is my thinking. I have rebuilt trust. If I am on my deathbed then I will need to act.


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## TrueblueTexican (Aug 29, 2005)

*I will be contrarian here*

Follow Gods model - not mans, Lucifer will tell you give him more rope, more time, stall till he see's the light etc - God commands us to love one another, approaching him with concern would be your first duty - to do NOTHING at all and wait, puts not only him in grave peril, but would also leave his blood on your hands - its fine if he rejects your concern, you have done your job and let him know you care -- he may cuss you out, deny, turn a cold shoulder, but you must plant that seed and let God grow it -- you don't thump him over the head with Gods word, but make it known you are his friend, sit down at his table, SIN has control of him, remember you are in his foxhole doing battle with forces seeking to overwhelm him and YOU !!!

God will work if we just get out of the way and allow him to work HIS will !!!


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

TrueblueTexican said:


> Follow Gods model - not mans, Lucifer will tell you give him more rope, more time, stall till he see's the light etc - God commands us to love one another, approaching him with concern would be your first duty - to do NOTHING at all and wait, puts not only him in grave peril, but would also leave his blood on your hands - its fine if he rejects your concern, you have done your job and let him know you care -- he may cuss you out, deny, turn a cold shoulder, but you must plant that seed and let God grow it -- you don't thump him over the head with Gods word, but make it known you are his friend, sit down at his table, SIN has control of him, remember you are in his foxhole doing battle with forces seeking to overwhelm him and YOU !!!
> 
> God will work if we just get out of the way and allow him to work HIS will !!!


I have already asked to meet with them but they appear to be stalling. I think they know what I want to talk to them about. It is in their hands to call off the meeting this week.


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

Once your eyes are opened to the gospel truth, sinning will never be the same. God is a Fathet that cares too much for his children to just leave them playing in the mud. I agree with Trueblue.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

KeeperTX said:


> Once your eyes are opened to the gospel truth, sinning will never be the same. God is a Father that cares too much for his children to just leave them playing in the mud. I agree with Trueblue.


This is very comforting. I keep examining myself to see where I am at everyday.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

fishingcacher said:


> I have already asked to meet with them but they appear to be stalling. I think they know what I want to talk to them about. It is in their hands to call off the meeting this week.


They called off the meeting. They already know where I stand as I have already had the talk with them. It was very emotional and difficult for them to hear. I am praying for God's divine intervention now.


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## DA REEL DADDY (Jun 7, 2005)

fishingcacher said:


> They called off the meeting. They already know where I stand as I have already had the talk with them. It was very emotional and difficult for them to hear. I am praying for God's divine intervention now.


I think at this point the best thing is to try to keep a positive relationship with them. Always be there to support them and love them. Continue to give them your shoulder. Let them see your devotion through your faith and courage and strength.

Remember the scripture of the protocol son. A lot of us have been on flimsy limbs before, but God will always save us if we truly and humbly turn to him.

God bless and a prayer for both of y'all


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## KeeperTX (Jul 8, 2013)

fishingcacher said:


> They called off the meeting. They already know where I stand as I have already had the talk with them. It was very emotional and difficult for them to hear. I am praying for God's divine intervention now.


Amen. God used you to reach out to them. They know you care and love them. Keep praying brother. You've got a good heart.


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## TrueblueTexican (Aug 29, 2005)

*A sad reality*



fishingcacher said:


> They called off the meeting. They already know where I stand as I have already had the talk with them. It was very emotional and difficult for them to hear. I am praying for God's divine intervention now.


 I would say "resort" to daily prayer for them, but prayer isn't a last resort, it should always be the first action !! Our love of God should be that we speak to him daily, our witness will make those who loved us hate us "â€¦20 For it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. 21 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 22 You will be hated by everyone on account of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved.â€¦ and that is what the Christian walk is all about, your and my GREAT Commission, when we are afforded an opportunity to tell others the good news and not shirk that command !! It takes a lot of COURAGE to stay in Gods will.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Right now we see each other for business purposes and email for business purposes. I sent a personal email and they understand where I stand on unequally yoked relationships. They thought that is what I wanted to talk about but I told them the issue was bigger than that and concerned their spiritual walk. They have yet to reply. I think in their heart they know that they are wrong but perhaps it will take time for them to see that themselves. I feel they may not have had a strong foundation and understanding of their faith. They know that I love them. I have asked their friends to pray from them and even asked one of the pastors whom is a well known pastor to contact them.

It is often difficult to see them on business fully knowing what I know about their spiritual condition. My heart aches for them.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

Good news. My friend told me that they have some great Christians in their life to help them in their walk with the Lord. I am somewhat relieved.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

fishingcacher said:


> Good news. My friend told me that they have some great Christians in their life to help them in their walk with the Lord. I am somewhat relieved.


Even better news! God intervened in a perfect way I could never have imagined. I think He has their attention now as well as the attention on another person. God is great! God intervenes and talks our feeble prayers and makes they perfect.


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## Duckchasr (Apr 27, 2011)

*Word from Billy Graham*

This is a Billy Graham daily devotional for today from their website. http://billygraham.org/devotion/questioning/

I thought of this thread when I read it. I had stepped away from my faith and became a dreaded lukewarm christian for years now. I can tell you it is no fun and satan takes full advantage of his opportunity to come in and wreak havoc when your not in the Lord's Word and spending prayer time with Him.

TODAY'S DEVOTIONAL:
Restore to me again the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.
â€"Psalm 51:12 (TLB)

It is not unusual for persons in their early twenties to defect from their early teaching. The reasons are many. Perhaps their exposure to unbelief â€œtookâ€ better than their exposure to belief. This is often the case, for the Bible says, â€œThe heart of man is deceitful above all things.â€
The human heart is as prepared by sin to accept unbelief as faith. Some person they regard highly has undoubtedly influenced their thinking; and for the time being they look on their early training as â€œbunk.â€ As someone has said, â€œA little learning may take a man away from God, but full understanding will bring him back.â€
Some of the staunchest Christians I know are people who had periods in their life when they questioned the Bible, Christ, and God. But as they continued to examine the matter, there was overwhelming evidence that only â€œthe fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.â€
*Prayer for the day*

I pray for all the questioning people today, Lord, remembering times in my own life when unbelief reigned.


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## DA REEL DADDY (Jun 7, 2005)

Great post D-Chaser. Reminds me of the Prodigal Son scripture, Luke 15:11-32.

Another time is the time when we are hurt. I.E. lost of s love one or friend, divorce, Influenced by non-believers, etc.

Whateverâ€‹ ever the reason, we can all easily put ourselves on out on a limb, but call out and Our Father will listen.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

I am learning to be patient and give them time to heal. They have acknowledged that they know how much I care about them. They have started to reach out to me again. God is good!


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## bubbas kenner (Sep 4, 2010)

Just continue to be a light.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

*Update:* Despite God's intervening in my friend's life they seem to be repeating the same thing. I think they starting another relationship with someone that does not know God. But God is good as He has sent very strong Christian that also is concerned for their life and future. I have a partner in prayer for them. God has also showed me some people that were totally lost eventually after hitting rock bottom they came back to the Lord. God is indeed good. I must be willing to wait on His timetable.


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## fishingcacher (Mar 29, 2008)

fishingcacher said:


> *Update:* Despite God's intervening in my friend's life they seem to be repeating the same thing. I think they starting another relationship with someone that does not know God. But God is good as He has sent very strong Christian that also is concerned for their life and future. I have a partner in prayer for them. God has also showed me some people that were totally lost eventually after hitting rock bottom they came back to the Lord. God is indeed good. I must be willing to wait on His timetable.


I was totally wrong as it my friend's life has turned around. It is God's gift to me this Christmas!


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## DA REEL DADDY (Jun 7, 2005)

fishingcacher said:


> I was totally wrong as it my friend's life has turned around. It is God's gift to me this Christmas!


good news and Amen.


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