# Deer Roping



## slmc (May 21, 2004)

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall,

Feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The

First step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since

They congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear

of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff

at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away)

that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag

over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The

cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They

were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up - 3 of

them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of

the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a

good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could

tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step

towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope

and received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand

There looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to

action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT

stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I

could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no

Controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me

off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me

that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally

imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as

many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as

quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It

took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the

blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.

At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted

To get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I

just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die

Slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all

between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I would

venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my

head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's

momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged

me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that

there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of

responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it

suffer a slow death so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck

and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand. Kind of like a

squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started moving up so I could get

my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years

would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised

when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my

wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse

where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes

its head - almost like a pit bull.

They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze

and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method

was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several

minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than

a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I

reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their

back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves

are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an animal like

a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily,

the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive

move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so

you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such

trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a

different strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a

horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit

you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after

all, besides being twice as strong and three times as evil, because the

second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and

knocked me down. Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it

does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger

has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on

you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your

head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split

open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good

and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back

was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had

protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest place, which

was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust and

looking like hell. The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and came

running out yelling "what happened?"

I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit

an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they

have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law

enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned

that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions

as criminal. I swear...not wanting to admit that I had done something

monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was

attacked by a deer". I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on

it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my

jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my

face where it had struck me there. I asked him to call somebody to come get

me. I didn't think I could make it home on my own. He did. Later that

afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know about

the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and

wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the attack

as completely and accurately as I could. I was filling the grain hopper

and this deer came out of nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of

me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or something.

EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at

the co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in

the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles

when they filled their feeders. I have told several people the story, but

NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these people every day and as an

outsider - a "city folk". I have enough trouble fitting in without them

snickering behind my back and whispering "there is the idiot that tried

to rope the deer."

Thank You.


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## Nauti 1 (Jul 20, 2004)

That is funny as he!!
David


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## Tiny (Dec 19, 2006)

IF this ain't fiction...you is stupid! lol That was funny!

no 'fence on bein' stoopid! 


ohh yea!
Do you write for a living? If not you should.


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## Psycho Trout (May 26, 2004)

:rotfl: :rotfl: GOOD ONE!


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## Silverspoon (Jun 1, 2005)

Too funny! I am glad you were not more seriously hurt though, other than maybe your ego. Life's many lessons often come by way of hard knocks. Thanks for sharing.


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## Wildpony (Dec 6, 2006)

I had the same idea about roping a deer sometime. You just talked me out of it.


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## gander (Aug 23, 2006)

That is 2 funny


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## Mschuste (Jan 27, 2006)

Roping a deer is pretty fun, but is VERY dangerous..haha, i know from experience. We roped a fallow that had gotten out of out property and was running along side the highway..wow, let me tell you about an adventure!!.....That is some really funny stuff slmc!!


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## FREON (Jun 14, 2005)

ROTFLMAO!!!!! Had a similar xperience with an Axis Buck


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## BigBuck (Mar 2, 2005)

*Roping*

That's funny right there!

My BIL in Lousiana roped a doe from his horse. It was hilarious hearing him tell it in his thick cajun accent. He said it was like a demented rabbit on a string. The doe finally wound up in the saddle with him, where he was able to get the rope off. He wound up bruised pretty badly. If he had not cinched the rope off to the saddle he probably would have went for a dirt ride as well. He learned his lesson as well.
BB


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## TXPalerider (May 21, 2004)

Funny story!! Surely you jest.


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## CamoWhaler (Jul 13, 2006)

Talking with some guides up in British Columbia last year and they have heard and were telling stories about cowboys on the famous Gang Ranch roping Grizzly's way back when.........getting five or six ropes on it all at once and pulling from all directions.......not sure how much truth in it but sure would not like to try.


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## katybuilder (Apr 18, 2006)

You made my day bro...too funny greenie coming at ya.....


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## Hair Trigger (Dec 23, 2005)

*Funny*

I have often contemplated roping one, just to have the story to tell. I am pretty sure you just satisfied my curiosity.

That was a great story!


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## Mrs Free_Loader (Feb 12, 2007)

You made my day - I actually *LOL* at this one...Good grief I had no idea a deer would do that. When I first started reading I thought "Wow thats a good idea!" And let me tell you after reading your entire story I'm so glad I never thought that before *LOL*
Glad you werent seriously hurt - Good life lesson though


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## txsnyper (Feb 8, 2007)

*I'd like to see some pictures.*

Heck I may have to read that again, I was laughing so hard I don't think I got it all in.


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## speckledred (Jun 1, 2004)

Dang funny! Hurt your pride as well? LMAO


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## fatrat82 (Feb 27, 2006)

that was the funniest thing i've heard all week! i can't wait to try and talk one of my friends into doing that.


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## Mako Mike (Jun 8, 2006)

Made my evening.


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## Lakewood Landscape (Nov 9, 2006)

We roped a ''tranquilized'' fallow deer one day. You want to talk about a rodeo. I work for a man sometimes who darts catches and transports exotics to the different ranches and man let me tell you. A blackbuck WILL run you over and a fallow will pull you around the pen. This guy has caught all kinds of crazy stuff. Zebras, Gemsbock, Ornx. I think I'll pass on those.


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## slmc (May 21, 2004)

This is the first chance I have had to look at this since I posted it this morning. I have to admit, luckily for me, the story is not mine . I meant to put a disclaimer on it when I posted it. It is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. I've read it several times and I still lol. That would be a sight to see as a bystander.

When I sent it to a friend he told me he knew a guy that shot a deer one evening and when he found it it was still alive. He went to cut its throat and the deer jumped up to run. This guy tackled it. Being pretty big he was able to hold on to it but they bounced around the field for a while then they would stop and breath hard in each others face for a few minutes and then it would start again. He lost his knife when we tackled the deer and he wasn't going to let go of the deer so this went on until well after dark. His wife got worried and came looking for him. When she found him he was yelling to her to bring a knife. She had to go back to the house to get a knife so he could finish the job. Now that is really wanting to make sure you don't lose a deer.


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## Tiny (Dec 19, 2006)

*HA! I Knew it!*

Plagerism at its best!

Ok, I'm kinda guilty about Plaggin sometimes, on my stuff, But any way HA!!!

Great Story, Loved Every Line Of It!



slmc said:


> This is the first chance I have had to look at this since I posted it this morning. I have to admit, luckily for me, the story is not mine . I meant to put a disclaimer on it when I posted it. It is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. I've read it several times and I still lol. That would be a sight to see as a bystander.
> 
> When I sent it to a friend he told me he knew a guy that shot a deer one evening and when he found it it was still alive. He went to cut its throat and the deer jumped up to run. This guy tackled it. Being pretty big he was able to hold on to it but they bounced around the field for a while then they would stop and breath hard in each others face for a few minutes and then it would start again. He lost his knife when we tackled the deer and he wasn't going to let go of the deer so this went on until well after dark. His wife got worried and came looking for him. When she found him he was yelling to her to bring a knife. She had to go back to the house to get a knife so he could finish the job. Now that is really wanting to make sure you don't lose a deer.


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## Salty Dog (Jan 29, 2005)

That's funny!

In my younger and dumber high school days a friend and I were out looking around with a spotlight on a back country road, drinking beer, etc, one night. I think we were "hog hunting", or maybe it was "coyote hunting", I can't really remember which we were calling it that night. Anyway, we came up on a doe laying there. I held the spotlight on her and my buddy decides to sneak up on her. So while I hold the light he circles around in the dark and eases right up on her. I guess he didn't really expect to get that close and upon arriving he came up with an idea. Why not just grab her? So he slipped on up there and with lightning speed he grabbed her hind leg with both hands. What happened next was pretty much a blur but in less than 1/1000th of a second that deer kicked the ***** out of him about 5 times and broke a couple ribs. It was hilareous. Glad I was holding the light.


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## Dinho (May 14, 2006)

1/1000th of a second that deer kicked the ***** out of him about 5 times and broke a couple ribs. It was hilareous. Glad I was holding the light.That is funny. Im sure you didnt discourage him from trying. 
Friends...


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## Baystlth1 (Sep 26, 2006)

True or not, turn that into Readers Digest and win some money.


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## byrdhunter1 (Aug 9, 2006)

Bulldogging one off of a 3-wheeler is not a very good option either!!!!! They can go any direction they want at any moment at any speed!!!


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## sandman (May 21, 2004)

We were almost teenagers. My cousin and I were hunting a couple of 'tree blinds'. According to him, this young 8-point walked right under him and he had the great idea to drop in on him, bulldog him, and cut his throat with his Kabar. I was about 1/4 mile away and all that I heard was a bunch of screaming and thrashing when the buck took off. By the time I caught up to them, Rich's clothes were shredded, scratches all over his face, neck and arms and the buck was going nuts. Rich was screaming and hollering but he didn't want to let loose. Finally the buck got loose. I had a good laugh but for some reason, Rich didn't see the humor in the situation the way that I did. While we were walking back to the house, a covey of quail flushed right in front of us. I suggested to Rich that he might have better luck rasslin' down one of those bobwhites! Man that was 35 yrs ago and it still cracks me up to think about it. Oh, to be young and dumb again!


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## mommabeachbunny (Apr 30, 2005)

That was flippin hilarious! I can't believe anyone would attempt to do that! Haven't you ever heard the story of the guy that thought his deer was dead and loaded it up inside his vehicle, only to have the thing come around and destroy the vehicle as well as bang up the hunter?? was a good ole field n stream funny many years ago!


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## wtc3 (Aug 16, 2005)

Kind of along the lines of my Aunts daddy roping an emu from horseback several years ago............. wtc


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## byrdhunter1 (Aug 9, 2006)

wtc3 said:


> Kind of along the lines of my Aunts daddy roping an emu from horseback several years ago............. wtc


Now I roped a many emu! A buddy of mine got into the business & needed some help slaughtering them for tamales. boy, that was some interesting work.


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## OZGRAMS (Feb 28, 2005)

I want to see the video?


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## Freshwaterman (May 21, 2004)

That is too funny...


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## aggie82josh (Mar 16, 2007)

talk about hard... try reading this without making a scene at work!


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## fish'n (Oct 10, 2007)

holy Sh!t wow thats funny


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## mudcatz71 (Jun 8, 2006)

good story but not true. it would of choked out before 10min


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## kweber (Sep 20, 2005)

every year about this time around here you'll see a young man with his arm in a sling. beer+pickup+rope+deer=broken arm.


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## buckhunter (Oct 23, 2007)

I actually did rope a semi tamed young buck that got loose one time and it did jump and tug at the rope like the story. But luckly for me it was tamed.


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