# Funny Fishing Quotes



## Reel Time (Oct 6, 2009)

*Funny Fishing Quotes*

 ...this planet is covered with sordid men who demand that he who spends time fishing shall show returns in fish.
_Leonidas Hubbard, Jr._

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl.
_Ernest Hemingway_

It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming.
_John Steinbeck_

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.
_Henry David Thoreau_

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
_Doug Larson_

Give a man a fish, and he can eat for a day. But teach a man how to fish, and he'll be dead of mercury poisoning inside of three years.
_Charles Haas_

Fly fishermen are born honest, but they get over it.
_Ed Zern_

The best time to go fishing is when you can get away.
_Robert Traver_

Lots of people committed crimes during the year who would not have done so if they had been fishing. The increase of crime is among those deprived of the regenerations that impregnate the mind and character of the fisherman.
_Herbert Hoover_


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## firedog4$ (Aug 24, 2004)

If you spit on your hook, you will catch a bigger fish. Or, choke them on chicken liver.


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## sweenyite (Feb 22, 2009)

Not funny, but a good quote by Norman Maclean
"Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the world's great flood and runs over rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words, and some of the words are theirs. I am haunted by waters." 
- Norman Maclean, A River Runs Through It


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## Roger (Aug 12, 2005)

*We ask a simple question**
And that is all we wish:
Are fishermen all liars?
Or do only liars fish?*​*
*​ *
William Sherwood Fox, Silken Lines and Silver Hooks, 1954*​​ *Fishers and fish are very much alike. *​ * They both get into trouble when they open their mouths. 
*​​ *Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught. 
*​​ *May the holes in your net be no larger than the fish in it. 
*​​ *It has always been my private conviction that any man who pits his intelligence against a fish and loses has it coming*


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## Blk Jck 224 (Oct 16, 2009)

The first thing you gotta do is locate them...
_ -Capt. Benny_


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## Privateer (Nov 28, 2009)

Definition of a fisherman: "A jerk on one end of a line Waiting for a jerk on the other end"


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## Privateer (Nov 28, 2009)

While cleaning his catch at a public cleaning table, a successful fisherman was asked for the 4th time "Hey man, where did you catch those"? Annoyed, the fisherman turned and said "Right in the mouth"!


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## DIHLON (Nov 15, 2009)

When I take a leak off the deck of the boat I always say: "man it's deep right here".


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## Poon Chaser (Aug 22, 2006)

"we are out of croaker"


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## Privateer (Nov 28, 2009)

DIHLON said:


> When I take a leak off the deck of the boat I always say: "man it's deep right here".


 Isn't that what they call "Noodling"?


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## Tortuga (May 21, 2004)

"Remember, there are two kinds of fishermen, those that fish for sport and those that catch something."

or

"Old fishermen never die, they just smell that way"


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## Red3Fish (Jun 4, 2004)

*Mine...*

"If wishes were fishes, we wouldn't even have to get up at 4:00 in the morning!!"...my pop, or at least that is where I heard it 50 yrs ago!

Later
R3F


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## Privateer (Nov 28, 2009)

"If you're prone to gettin' sea-sick... eat bait for breakfast"


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## Reel Time (Oct 6, 2009)

Privateer said:


> Definition of a fisherman: "A jerk on one end of a line Waiting for a jerk on the other end"


That's on a plaque at my fishing cabin. My grandfather used to say that all of the time. He also taught me about the fisherman's ruler.


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## Privateer (Nov 28, 2009)

"Are ya gonna fish...or cut bait"?


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## Privateer (Nov 28, 2009)

"Heck man, I caught a fish so big...the picture weighed five pounds"!


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## DIHLON (Nov 15, 2009)

"There's a difference between fishing and catching".


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## CoastalBent (Aug 3, 2006)

"Catch and release fishing is like golf... You don't have to eat the ball to have a good time"


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## Privateer (Nov 28, 2009)

"Y'all shoulda been here last week"!


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## Privateer (Nov 28, 2009)

"Ya can't catch'em where they ain't"


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## Privateer (Nov 28, 2009)

"A good fisherman has patience...A great fisherman has fish"!


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## Poon Chaser (Aug 22, 2006)

never leave fish to find fish


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## Bull Red (Mar 17, 2010)

"Think like a fish"


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## Bull Red (Mar 17, 2010)

The water was so dirty we had to hit 'em in the nose with the lure to get a strike.


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## DIHLON (Nov 15, 2009)

"He got off right at the boat. He had to have been at least 10 lbs!"


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## CoastalBent (Aug 3, 2006)

"That's why it's called fishin' and not catchin'"


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## rattletrap (Sep 9, 2005)

I always do what the voices in my tackle box tell me to !!


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## Miles2Fish (Dec 2, 2008)

Early to bed, early to rise, fish like he** and make up lies......... This was the plaque we had in our game room growing up.

After a long day of fishing and thinking clearly:

Jason: What's that in the water?

Miles: A baby Dugong.


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## reelmacoy (Mar 13, 2009)

The greatest fisherman that ever was... NIMROD. The Bible


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## Melon (Jun 1, 2004)

:slimer: Get Reel :slimer:


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## saltylady (Jun 30, 2010)

* 4 B's Of Fishing*

* Boat Bait Beer BS*

*Size doesnt matter unless your a fisherman*

*Feed a man a fish an he will eat for a day*
*teach a man to fish an you get rid of him all weekend*


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## Reel Time (Oct 6, 2009)

You can't catch a fish if your hook ain't in the water!


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## 24Buds (Dec 5, 2008)

I fish, therfore I am.

Off an old Tshirt I had years ago


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## flatwound (Mar 30, 2010)

"What time will we need to be at the boat ramp ?~5;30 AM ?
" Nope ! about 9 am will be just fine !" I'm not "that" mad at 'em anymore !


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## garybryan (Nov 23, 2009)

If fishing was easy it would be called catching.


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## Life Aquatic (Oct 24, 2006)

Eat Sleep Fish


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## FishinTheBarge (May 21, 2004)

3/4 of the earth is covered by water. So it was God's intention for man to spend 3/4 of his time fishing, than working in the yard.


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## BigNate523 (May 19, 2010)

I cant hear you i have my head up my Bass!!


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## T_Sebastian (May 12, 2010)

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day,...
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer


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## Sunbeam (Feb 24, 2009)

"We need a bigger boat!"...Jaws


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## Bill Fisher (Apr 12, 2006)

there's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot - steven wright

(standing on the bow)...... "dang this water's cold!........ and deep!" :biggrin:


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## rattletrap (Sep 9, 2005)

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day , teach him how to fish and he will sit in his boat and drink beer all day !!


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## jake/jenny (Jul 18, 2008)

"you want the trout? you can't handle the trout!".........jack nicholson 
at least i think thats what he sid in court!


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## bilgewater (Mar 25, 2008)

Early to bed
Early to rise
fish like hell
and make up lies


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## marshmadness (Oct 22, 2007)

"Old fishermen don't die, they just keep plugging along".


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## Captain Hough (Jan 10, 2010)

My favorite: "When the fish don't want to bite, you just can't make them stop."


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## reelmacoy (Mar 13, 2009)

For those of you who say"Man this water is cold, and deep too."
Why are you taking a leak while on your knees?


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## murphy66 (Apr 15, 2006)

"Fishy Fishy in the brook, jump your fat ***** on my hook"
~dear ol mom~


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## chickenboy (May 5, 2008)

I fished with an Aggie guy once who only took dried peas to fish with. He would throw them beside the boat and when the fish *took a pea*, he would grab them.


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## rlw (May 21, 2004)

Used to put copenhagen out beside the boat, and when the fish came up to spit we'd
gett'em with the net!!


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## seattleman1969 (Jul 17, 2008)

Above a urinal ina seedy bar:

"If it tastes like trout, spit it out. If it tastes like chicken keep on lickin'!"


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## rlw (May 21, 2004)

"Only one shrimp per trout" painted on the top of my ole Dad's bait bucket.


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## seattleman1969 (Jul 17, 2008)

Q: What are they biting?
A: The end of my line.....


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## Category6 (Nov 21, 2007)

Often heard while on offshore trips with someone engaged in involuntary chumming:

"If you see something brown and furry, swallow it quick it's your ***hole."


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## Rusty S (Apr 6, 2006)

J.D Whitley, Port Mansfield fishing guide, told one of my cocky guests: "son there is a fine line between being a good 'ol boy and an ***hole", I will never forget that line. I am just glad I got called for dinner that night, don't know if he still guides, but he was one heck of a no-nonsence fisherman. rs


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## mardigrastopsntails (May 20, 2008)

"my biggest worry is that my wife (when i'm dead) will sell all my fishing gear for what I said I paid for it"


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## locorojo (Aug 16, 2005)

My Dad told a guy that was always bragging about what he caught but, couldn't prove because he always fished by himself, "Hell man, you couldn't catch a fish if it was swimming around a bath tub, starving to death!"


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## Reel Time (Oct 6, 2009)

My Dad told me this one:
"For every day you spend fishing, a day is added to your lifespan."


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## Cowboy1uhB (Nov 19, 2008)

DIHLON said:


> When I take a leak off the deck of the boat I always say: "man it's deep right here".


Now that's funny.


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## Cowboy1uhB (Nov 19, 2008)

*This is a great thread*

I'll play.
'Dad, I can't buy a bite.'
'You're not holding your mouth right son.'

'I wonder what the poor folks are doing.'

'Son, there's no fish in that tree....I looked.'

'Got a backlash? Nope! just seeing how much line I got....Here's your sign!'

'When the winds are from the west, fishing is the best. From the east, fishing is the least.'

'Caught a fish yet?'


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## super-Fish-ial (Apr 3, 2006)

"the fishing is so good, I thought I was here yesterday."


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## T_Sebastian (May 12, 2010)

"A fairy tale begins with - Once upon a time..., A fishermans tale begins with - This aint no bullsh*t..."
Capt. Phil Harris


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## Tombo (Mar 15, 2005)

Losing a fish after a hookup, is a long distance release
Calling for "Ralph" off shore in heavy seas.
No fish here, lets run 80mph to the next spot.
Those fish did not get big eaten plastic.
Are those fish fresh? No, they are very well manered
Are those fish fresh? Nope, just did not know how to fit really rotten on the sign!


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## jewfish (Feb 16, 2005)

A fishing guide one told his clients
" I can take you where they live, but I cant make 'em eat"

"Never approach a boat ramp any faster than you want to hit it" 

1st rule of boating, You got to look good!

Chicken Boy, I think you are the winner, Take a Pea!!! Lmao


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## PassingThru (Aug 31, 2005)

You can't catch many fish with the boat parked in the driveway.....MY Nephew


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## Tombo (Mar 15, 2005)

From a boat builder in Louisiana. "If you don't have time to go fishing, its your fault".


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## backlash (May 29, 2004)

My dad used to tell me when I was growing up.
Women are alot like fish.
They are attracted to things that are shiney and when you catch one you want to mount it's gonna cost you plenty.


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## lovethemreds (Mar 23, 2005)

*my quotes*

From the live bait stand:

"Live Shrimp, Guaranteed to catch fish....or die trying."

From a fishing show:

"The fish are just suspended in the water." (no shietz, where else could they be suspended?)

From another fishing show:

"I am spraying some Live Shrimp smell on this live shrimp to attract more fish."

My dad:

Gentlemen fish, everyone else is an a-whole.

My saying:

"Berkley Gulp, 400 times more real than the real thing"


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## RickyMartin (May 27, 2009)

Talking to a guy at the boat ramp one afternoon as we were putting and asked how it was and his comment " it's so crowded you need to bring your own stump" 

Another time fishing out of the back of the boat I mentioned I was hung and the guy on the front says "I am too but I don't brag about it"


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## Flounderpounder27 (Sep 22, 2008)

"Fish em if you got em"

Just something my grandpa has always said whenever we pull up to a wade spot and get in the water.


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