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Explaining potlicking to a woman ...
Recently, a girl I'm dating asked me what the big deal with potlicking was and no matter how hard I tried, she just didn't get it. So I told her that if I had some sort of analogy to use that she cared about, it'd be easy.
She told me to use chocolate and shoes in context, and here's what I emailed her, obviously her response to this was both hilarious ... but also understanding:
You discover a limited, but very delicious and plentiful source of chocolate and because you're a good person, you share that source with your friend "Tammy Thundacork". Because ... you're a good person, but also because Tammy likes chocolate too. It should also be know at this point that suddenly, you don't have a chocolate-mobile anymore but Tammy does. Your chocolate-mobile was very old and needed a new home. The next time you call Tammy to get a ride to said chocolate ... Tammy "can't go" which means you can't go either because, remember, you don't have a chocolate-mobile right now. After the weekend, Tammy calls you on Monday to tell you how badass the chocolate was where you showed her the limited, but very delicious and plentiful source of chocolate. Tammy does not thank you for showing her where the chocolate is and has no explanation of how suddenly she was able to go to the chocolate after all.
This exact episode happens 4 or 5 times a year for the next several years and every time she eats your chocolate, she calls you to tell you about the chocolate and never invites you to go and never thanks you. During this time frame, Tammy starts posting pictures of "your chocolate" on a local chocolate-forum, and Tammy shares the source of the chocolate with her friends, that aren't you. The next time you get to the chocolate ... which took hours and hours because you had an excruciatingly painful paddle to the chocolate, because you still have no means of accessing a chocolate-mobile and your "friends" are too busy to take you - not only are there 42 chocolate-mobiles in your source of chocolate (including Tammy with five people on her chocolate-mobile), but you can't even find the chocolate anymore.
Then one day the chocolate dries up for good because Tammy ate it all and got grotesquely fat. Subsequently, Tammy starts annoying the hell out of you about the two of you needing to find new chocolate, and starts talking about all the "hot guys" she's doing which you know is b.s. based on here chocolate habit and obesity.
Soon, your financial position is bettered ... and you buy a new chocolate-mobile and make friends with some chocoholics that know how to find their own chocolate and you share information with them under the understanding that neither of you will ever tell anyone about your new found sources of chocolate. As it turns out, your new friend "Jowillma Plugger" has newly found knowledge of "secret" ... but not really ... local chocolate, perhaps the BEST you've ever tasted in the world. Jowillma agrees to show you where this chocolate is, but asks that you tell no one about it. She asks this of you in confidence even though it's probably the most public thing you've ever seen in your life and only about 500 yards away ... there's 10 million idiots eating chocolate that bums pee'd on and left in the street, not realizing the best local chocolate is right over there ... where you're going to be ...
Now, let's also factor in two things:
1. Jowillma also gets some really, really good shoes that are probably the most sought after and expensive shoes in the world - the same you've wanted forever - but she can get them for basically free, and;
2. You think it's funny to tell Tammy about all the new chocolate success and send her "maps of where you found the chocolate" ... these being places Satan herself would never even take her own chocolate-mobile to.
So now ... Tammy wants you to take her to Jowillma's source of chocolate and at the same time, TELLS you ... that's going to be the only place you ever find her from now on. Tammy then tell you that no matter how hard it is to find, she'll figure it out whether you like it or not and then demands that you use her chocolate-mobile so that she can have GPS coordinates to said new found source of chocolate ...
Would you take Tammy to the new chocolate at risk of losing the chocolate and the shoes ... ???
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