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Old 04-20-2017, 05:32 PM   #1
markbxr400
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Fishing story

The king wanted to go fishing. He called on the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours.

The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days, So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen.

On the way he met a farmer on his donkey.
Upon seeing the king the farmer said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace at once! In just a short time, I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area".

The king was polite and considerate, he replied: "I hold the palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated and experienced professional. And besides, I pay him very high wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."

So the king continued on his way. However, a short time later a torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a shameful condition.

Furious, the king returned to the palace and gave the order to fire the professional. Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and high paying role of royal forecaster.

The farmer said, "Your Majesty, I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with certainty that it will rain."

So the king hired the donkey.

And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in the government and occupy its highest and most influential positions.

The practice is unbroken to this date and thus the Democrat symbol was born . . .
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Old 04-20-2017, 05:36 PM   #2
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While we're on the subject of donkeys . . .

A man and his wife are on holiday in Mexico. While shopping in a small village, the wife asks her husband what time it is, and looking down at his wrist the man realizes he has left his watch in the motel room. After a few unsuccessful attempts to find an English speaking local, the couple finally find an elderly man sitting quietly on the street with his donkey.

"Excuse me," the husband says, "Could you tell us the time?" "Absolutely", replies the elderly man, and reaches down and grabs the donkey's balls. "It is 3:00," says the peasant. "Thank you," replies the wife in a surprised voice.

After doing some shopping and grabbing a bite to eat, the couple return to the old man for the time. Again the elderly man grabs the donkey by the balls and says: "It is now 4:45." "That's amazing," says the husband. "How can you can tell the time like that?"

"Sit here where I am," says the peasant. "Now, do you see the donkey's balls?" "Of course," the man replies. "Now reach down and take them into your hand." Hesitantly, the husband does as he is instructed."Now, slowly lift them," he continues. Again the husband does as instructed. "Now look underneath the donkeys balls, and between his two front legs." The husband does as he's told. "Now," the old man says, "Can you see the clock on the wall of that building over there?"
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