Roadside Help, Southern Style

[Drumbo]

What to do when you get a flat tire...Texas style

A good ol' boy had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and
proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of his pickup truck and one
behind it. Then just stood back and waited.

A passerby from the city studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he
turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The fellow replied, "Flat tire."

In response the passerby asked, "But, what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When ya' break down they tell ya' to put flares in the front
and flares in the back. I ain't never understood it neither." :headknock

[DISSipator]

LOL

Hey wait a minute. You yankees better quit making fun of us Texans. :spineyes:

[Drumbo]

I understand that the same principle works in the following states as well: WV, NC, SC, GA, KY, AL, TN, and many others that need "Flares."

[Fishman]

Ya gotta watch those Jersey types. I knew he'd start raggin' on the rest of us suthern boys :)

You lookin' fer a whuppin boy?

[Drumbo]

I will have you know trhat the best tomatoes (Maters) are grown right here in the "Garden State." They are so sweet that when ripe you can eat em, like apples.

And by the way, Who's gonna be doin' that Whuppin' ???

[Fishman]

[QUOTE=Drumbo]I will have you know trhat the best tomatoes (Maters) are grown right here in the "Garden State." They are so sweet that when ripe you can eat em, like apples.QUOTE]


The Garden State?? http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/icon13.gif

http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/icon10.gif HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!! http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/icon10.gif

Wher ya'll grow 'em?? on the subway?? http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/slimer.gif

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

[Aunt Joyce]

I'M PRETTY SURE THAT YOU'RE AWARE OF THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A WHOLE BRIGADE OF TEXANS WATCHING OVER YOUR POSTS!





(of course everyone knows I'm just kidding here!)

[speckle-catcher]

nope, AJ, we are watching

[Fishman]

Everybody is watching me and my 'ol white haired buddy poke fun at each other.

He's alright even if he don't eat no grits http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/tongue.gif

Hey Drumbo, grits and maters go good together.

[WVAMEDIC]

Garden State?? I thought "Joisy" was a EPA toxic waste site???

[JettyJumper]

now you listen hear you city slicker, we southern people can whupp your tail end in aheart beat.... crazy tender feets........ haha................ j/k....... thats funny man.... TIME TO REDNECK UP!!!........................JJ

[Drumbo]

Just have one thing to say, 'Jumper:' "Iffn' Ya' give it, Ya' gotta' take it And The Good Lord above Knows i can take alot more than you Texans,Tarheels, or West ,By God Virginians can dish up!! But like the (Choke-cough,cough) Fishman says, it is all just in good fun, so as "George W," says "Bring em on!" By the way, ask who got Skunked on the Banks last Oct., and who caught fish??

[Drumbo]

Garden State?? I thought "Joisy" was a EPA toxic waste site???
Only in North Jersey! We have been trying to get them to leave the Union for years...........You know that ther state Bird is the Mosquitoe, and that they also have a state smell........The residue of the Oil Refineries

[Drumbo]

Get your facts straight Tarheel Boy!! Ain'no Subways in Joisey!! They are all in New York, which is a differen't world altoghether

[Fishman]

I thought Jersey was a subburb of NY anyway.

Last time (I hope) I was in Toms River those trains took you straight to the subway. Got off in the WTC basement. Trains, subway...its all the same to this southern boy. Strange place it was. All those people in a hurry, talking all fast and funny. Cotton pickin' high strung bunch they were... Didn't see no mater plants growing either. :)

BTW, Got the strangest look in a Toms River resturant when I asked for "sweet tea". Ya'll got sugar that far nawth? That tea was nasty. Wuz up wif dat??

[Drumbo]

Ya gotta 'Understand there are 4 distinct parts of the state. North Jersey,(the worst), South Jersey, and The Shore. Then there is the farm part in the interior part of the state and that is where all the great Veggies come from. Hence, the Garden state which was originaly made up of scads of small farms called "Truck Farms" Now they are few and far between and have been taken over by corporate giants or sold off to developers

The Shore region as you would imagine is the tourist trap of the East with all the neat little things to snag peoples money while on vacation, including at least 4000 Mini golf courses. Nobody can count the number of Bait and Tackle shops that exist along the coast from Manasquan to Cape May as they add and subtract with the wind direction. Lots of Mater gardens as the sandy soil produces wonderful acidity and huge 'Big Boy", 'Early Girl", and "Jersey Beefstake" Tomatos

Its North Jersey you have to watch out for as they have it all except anything that is legal. Nobody knows the real population count as the immigrants rarely if ever get counted. No Maters!

Then their is the dock areas and the New York Bedroom Areas which is another area to stay out of . No Maters there either. Just Rats and Roaches big enough to carry away your best fishin' tackle.
Mean people live there too

But South Jersey and the inland areas are still major veggie producing areas, and again feature rich, sandy soil which also grows great corn. Another Jersey Delacacy.

I don't know a lot about Texas but when I was in SanAntonio last year I didn't see much growin'around there or anywhere near it. I kept lookin for the Lone Ranger and Tonto but could only find the remains of Sam Huston and the Alamo.

I know NC and what they got there besides the Fishman and I believe all you can do with that stuff is smoke it and pick it to spin on an old spinnin 'wheel for Grandma to make a quilt or some such like that. Never did see maters mixed in with all that cotton and Tobacco.

Next time we get toghether I'll bring some Jersey Maters and we will compare to see who has the best...........We'll Make Bubba the Judge.

Hey Philly, How bout gettin in on this and tellin' these Guys what good is.........

[Aunt Joyce]

I was in San Antonio, too!

Twice!

[Fishman]

I vacationed in San Antonio & Dallas several years ago. I'll take the LONE STAR STATE over the GARDEN VARIETY STATE any day.

I had great, friendly service everywhere I went in Texas, better than in Nawth Carolina or Joisey. http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/cry.gif

And Al...I knew all that. I just wanted to hear you say it... http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/icon10.gif

(even if you streched it a bit about the maters)

Well, gotta go to the garden and check on the state of IT, not the "Garden State". http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/doowapstart.gifBTW Al, my maters slice so big, they swaller the bread up http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/help.gif

http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/fishy.gif

[Drumbo]

Two times for Me Too!! First and Last!!!! HEE HEE HEE!! Actually I found the city to be very cosmopolitan with great restaurants and friendly people. Can't say much for the Alamodome, However.

[Drumbo]

Fresh Rye or white bread, Several slices of fresh, Juicy, and delicious Jersey Maters. Smother with Salt and Pepper then smear Oodles and Gobs of Helmans REAL Mayonaise on top. Serve with:brew2: (O'Douls of course)

one might substitute maters of the contraband type if they so desire. Holy Cow, Did I say that???? :help:

A total Cholestoral trap but preaty soon they are going to find out that everything we eat is bad for us.

Did everybody enjoy the "Boom Booms" this weekend??

[El]

There ain't nothing like a WV mater called "Mortgage Lifter". Grown in WV soil and grown with love and patience, they are big ole maters that cover a whole slice of big bread ( not the cheap sissy kind). But the best way to eat them is to make up a batch of homemade buttermilk biscuits and lay on a thick slice and pile high with bacon. They will be red soon.

[Drumbo]

OK, Tex and Tarheel boy, somebody else is challenging.........Like that Buttermilk Biscuit idea. I'm still bettin' on the "Jersey Beefstake" though cause they also will cover a whole piece of bread.

Hey EL when you get up some nerve, smear a little peanut butter on one of those pieces of bread or biscuits. Sounds terrible but a chain of restaurants in Pittsburgh served a Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato, and Peanut butter Sandwhich. Was one of their top sellers

[WVAMEDIC]

I thought Jersey was a subburb of NY anyway.

Last time (I hope) I was in Toms River those trains took you straight to the subway. Got off in the WTC basement. Trains, subway...its all the same to this southern boy. Strange place it was. All those people in a hurry, talking all fast and funny. Cotton pickin' high strung bunch they were... Didn't see no mater plants growing either. :)

BTW, Got the strangest look in a Toms River resturant when I asked for "sweet tea". Ya'll got sugar that far nawth? That tea was nasty. Wuz up wif dat??


LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JettyJumper]

nawth car'lina and joisey??? phffffff! aint got nuttin on Texas. yall dont even knwo what sweet tea is or iced tea. sheesh! get ya some good ol squirrle and dumplins. by george dat stuff is fit fer a kang and quane. and Texas Maters are better than them eastern Maters.......... LMAO..............................................

[Drumbo]

Hey Jumper, the problem was that Fishman was here during the "Dark Ages" and they were'nt finished with the docks yet so the sugar cargos and Banana boats sliped into the Big Apple and transported everything South by Horse and Buggy.

We got Sweet Tea and iffn'ya cain't gret it the restaurant, come to our house. My wife always has it on Hand.

[Drumbo]

Hey Jetty Jumper, Is that you in the pic on the home page listed in your bio?? Your a Youngin'!!

Impressive Education!! Its rare to see a sports scholarship person give up sports for his education. Very impressive!!

too bad they didn't teach you about Geography and where great tomatoes come from. Good ones may come fromTexas and NC and possibly that "Coal Cracker" in West Virginny might get lucky now and again but the GREAT ones come from The GREAT state of New Jersey!!!!

[Fishman]

Hey Jumper, the problem was that Fishman was here during the "Dark Ages" and they were'nt finished with the docks yet so the sugar cargos and Banana boats sliped into the Big Apple and transported everything South by Horse and Buggy.

We got Sweet Tea and iffn'ya cain't gret it the restaurant, come to our house. My wife always has it on Hand.
Dark ages?? Oh pooh. It ain't no better now.

Seriously though...Drumbo was in Nawth Carolina long enough to learn some suthern manners and him and that lovely wife would be great host. But he ain't learned how to eat GRITS yet. As fer fishin'..........I told him which hole to catch fish out of... http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/icon10.gif

Anyone here grow the German maters? I need to find some seed for next year. Those are excellent .

I can't say much about you Texans. All I heard was everything is bigger down there. Bigger Redfish, Bigger Trout, Bigger maters?? Bigger Women?? http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/icon10.gif

We need to see some pics of all these big maters everyone is bragging about. Sorry Drumbo, no little salad maters allowed http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/tongue.gif

[Drumbo]

Dark ages?? Oh pooh. It ain't no better now.

. As fer fishin'..........I told him which hole to catch fish out of... http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/icon10.gif

Mind your manners Tarheel Boy I had that hole scouted out an hour after we got there and you hadn't even been there yet. For that matter you and the Diva were fishin' there and we didn't see anything commin off them big old anchor hooks you had on. What was you expectin to catch on them big old #12 circle hooks,Or were they Sheila's Knitting Needles turned inside out

Sorry Drumbo, no little salad maters allowed http://www.2coolfishing.net/ttmbforum/images/icons/tongue.gif


I am not too sure that they make a wide angle lense big enough to capture the true breadth and width of a jersey Mater-Lest It be Fish-Eye lense